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Euphanasia: to be there or not... watch

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    Taking my kitty back to the vets (for the fifth time this month) for a full blood test thingy in the hopes of revealing the extent of her kidney aging/damage. She's about 16 in human years so I'm bracing myself for the worst.

    One question (and sadly one very vivid thought) keeps springing to mind... Come the day of deterioration do I want to be with her in her final moments?

    No... Because selfishly the very sight and memory of seeing her die will seriously haunt me. I get upset just thinking about it, can't explain how gutting it will be to actually witness.

    Yes... Because it's not about me, it's about her (I'm upset as I'm typing this now ) and she will want familiar voices and sights to be around her in her final moments.

    For the people that have been through this... what did you do? Do you have any advice to ease the pain? Even if you aren't faced with this dilemma I'm curious as to what people would do...

    Thanks.
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    I can't imagine that being present would be of much comfort to her and, like you said, it could be deeply traumatising for you. Our cat died very suddenly, and we hadn't had her as long as you've had yours, so I'm afraid I can't offer much help in that regard. I hope everything works out for the best. :hugs:
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    (Original post by thisisnew)
    Taking my kitty back to the vets (for the fifth time this month) for a full blood test thingy in the hopes of revealing the extent of her kidney aging/damage. She's about 16 in human years so I'm bracing myself for the worst.

    One question (and sadly one very vivid thought) keeps springing to mind... Come the day of deterioration do I want to be with her in her final moments?

    No... Because selfishly the very sight and memory of seeing her die will seriously haunt me. I get upset just thinking about it, can't explain how gutting it will be to actually witness.

    Yes... Because it's not about me, it's about her (I'm upset as I'm typing this now ) and she will want familiar voices and sights to be around her in her final moments.

    For the people that have been through this... what did you do? Do you have any advice to ease the pain? Even if you aren't faced with this dilemma I'm curious as to what people would do...

    Thanks.
    When we found my favourite ever rabbit in his hutch flat and lethargic I said I wanted to go with him to the vets. My dad said that there was zero chance of him coming home alive and for me, that was okay. I wanted to be with him in his final moments to make sure he had a familiar person to stroke his head and talk to him when 'it happened'. I would have seriously regretted not being there. The vet told me that he'd know we were there, and that it'd stop him panicking (even though he had no way of physically panicking) about being in a strange place.

    When the time comes for your girl, go with her. It's truly heartbreaking, I won't lie. But at the same time I think it's better to be there and go through it with her than not go and then feel guilty about it afterwards.

    Best of luck with your girl and I hope there is something that can be done for your kittykat. :hugs:
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    I would definitely be there. We've only ever had one cat die whilst with us, she just died curled up in her bed one night from old age. I would definitely go with your cat though, you'll end up regretting it if you don't and I know it might sound a little over the top, but being there by her side will help you get over losing her a little easier, in my opinion.
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    I feel although the image may haunt you, the guilt and regret you may feel of not going would haunt you far more.
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    I would be there - you're a familiar person and someone I'm sure she trusts and isn't scared of. If it was either of my dogs, I would be absolutely devastated and feel awful about it, but I know they'd be more comfortable with me there as they never relax when I'm not with them.
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    I don't think it will haunt you, you might think it will, but it won't. I know my example here relates to people but I'm pretty sure it will be the same for animals as well - I saw my Nanna shortly after she had died from a long battle with cancer (we didn't know she had passed away before we went to see her), as soon as I realised I thought it would scar me for life, I thought I'd have nightmares and all sorts but actually whenever I think of it now I have nothing but a sense of peace and tranquillity about the whole thing.

    I had to have my two gerbils put to sleep last year and I wasn't with them, although with them being so small I wasn't really given a choice, but just being able to talk to them and stroke them while everything was being sorted out was nice. If the same thing had to happen with my cat, I'd go and be with her - I think I'd regret it if not. As I said above you think it will be a horrible experience but actually, it helps you come to terms with things in the long run. Also that way you'll know that she wasn't in pain or anything because you'll be able to see how the vets treat her.

    I hope that helps, at least a little bit - whatever you decide I'm sure it will be the right thing for you.
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    When we had our cat put down, the vet come to our house and did it in the living room with my dad holding him but me, my mum and sister all stayed upstairs. I wouldnt want to be there for it but i'd feel very guilty if i wasnt
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    I would go if I were you I have been three times now with our pets and I the thought of it is worse than the actual act. Hope your cat gets better and you don't have to go through it right now.
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    I have been there for two of my cats (the others had to be put down while I was away at uni). I have never regretted it although one of them was less peaceful than the other. I would have regretted it more if I'd not been there.

    That said, that's only what was right for me. If you feel e.g. that you would be so distressed that you would only upset your cat more then the right decision for you may be that you say goodbye and don't stay for the final part.

    The most important thing is to take the decision at the right time - it was very hard with my longhair, I rescued him from a bad home and so he had only had a happy life for a couple of years I still miss him so much but the neglect had been too much for his system and it was impossible to save him despite an operation.

    I've had two cats with renal failure, one of whom is still going strong 18 months after diagnosis - let me know if you want to chat about it
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    I was there with my dog when she had to be put down. She'd had a stroke among other things, she was 17 and the vet said in his experience she wouldn't have a good life if she stayed in the state she was. I was initially scared of the thought that it was going to happen in front of me, but it's not as bad as you think, it all happens very quick and it was for the best, in her situation.
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    I'd want to be there. Two of my cats got put down when I was away, and my stepmother is a very 'leave and let the vet do it' person, and i've always felt a bit guilty about the cats being there in a scary place all alone.
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    I'd had my dog for a very long time - the day she got put down I could bring myself to go. My mum started crying because she was gettin excited to go in the car because it usually means going on a long walk =[ I don't think I could have coped with the journey seeing her excited but not knowing what was going to happen =[
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    I think it would be best to be with her. You can provide a comforting touch in time of need.
    You could regret not being with her and leaving her on her own to pass without anyone familiar, no one to be with her that she knows as a comfort, a companion, a friend. You wouldn't want to be abandonned and left on your own if you were dying would you?
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    My cat was hit by a car last year, and was in a very bad way. My parents took her to the vets to be euthanised, but I just couldn't go - I was absolutely devastated. I'm glad she wasn't alone anyway, even though I think she wasn't aware of anything anymore.
    I can understand why you wouldn't want to see her being euthanised, but at the same time I think it would be kinder to her to have someone she knows and loves with her at the end.
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    (Original post by StefanieLouise)
    I would definitely be there. We've only ever had one cat die whilst with us, she just died curled up in her bed one night from old age. I would definitely go with your cat though, you'll end up regretting it if you don't and I know it might sound a little over the top, but being there by her side will help you get over losing her a little easier, in my opinion.

    (Original post by Superlogon)
    I feel although the image may haunt you, the guilt and regret you may feel of not going would haunt you far more.
    I echo these sentiments.
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    It's all about personal preference at the end of the day, but as already mentioned, knowing you were with her in her final moments often outweighs the sight of seeing her passing away for most people. Either way, my thoughts are with you.
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    Pets look for you when its happening.
    It's a comfort to them that you're there, they are less scared with you.

    I'd recommend anyone being with their pet when they are put to sleep.
    Unless you REALLY can't stand to see it happen.

    Advice for dealing with the pain.. there is none really, just remember the good times and how good a life you gave her. And that having an animal euthanized is the nicest final act we can do for our pets, preventing suffering.

    I hope you have had better blood results than you were hoping! x
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    I was there when all my pets were put to sleep, even when young. There is something terribly heart-wrenching about the ordeal, but its quickly forgotten. I had my cat for 16 years and when it was time for her to go I made sure I was there. Im not going to sugar-coat it, they do get upset and put up a bit of a fight, and sometimes become quite vocal, which can be upsetting.

    At the end of the day, an animal has no idea whats happening and I dont think it would matter to them if you were there or not. But I still think its a good idea. But as somebody else mentioned, they do take comfort in your presence and it does reassure them that nothing awful will happen.
 
 
 
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