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I'm a virgin - not sure what he expects right now watch

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    Hey,

    I have been out with this guy I know from work twice now and I'm meeting him for a few drinks tonight. So far we have just held hands and kissed and atm that's all I'm ready for. I don't know what he expects from me and I haven't told him I'm a virgin. I'm not his girlfriend yet and I have heard that he is a bit of a player so don't want to get hurt. I only started talking to him properly on Monday and was wondering if I do decide to go out with him, how long I should make him wait? Do you think he is thinking about sex already?

    Thanks
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    There is no such thing as how long to "wait." You know when you are ready. Don't rush into anything for him.

    Oh he is probably thinking of sex anyway so don't let that bother you!
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    He probably expects you to perform some kind of circus trick in exchange for your continued chastity. Juggling is always a popular one.
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    If he really is a player, making him wait a bit is a good way to see whter he is really into you or not.
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    I'm sure he is thinking of doing all manner of disgraceful things with you. If not there's probably something wrong with him.

    But don't let that put you off in the slightest. If he invites you back to his, you can say "yes but I'm not ready to sleep with you" and he should be absolutely fine with that.

    What you shouldn't do is wait until you're in bed and he's all worked up before telling him you're not ready.

    Whether you mention the virgin bit is up to you.
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    (Original post by Chr0n)
    If he really is a player, making him wait a bit is a good way to see whter he is really into you or not.
    Idiotic comment. Playing childish games only ever ends in disaster.
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    If you know you are not ready to have sex and you have heard he is a bit of a player why on earth are you going out with him OP? What do you expect? He was probably thinking about sex before you two even spoke to each other!

    Good luck in taming the beast though
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    OP I would ask you. DO you really want to be pursuing someone who is a known player. Let me tell you this: It is more trouble than it's worth. Best to go for the guys who are a little shyer and gentlemanly despite the excitement you might feel for a 'bad boy'
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    (Original post by Gavzzz)
    If you know you are not ready to have sex and you have heard he is a bit of a player why on earth are you going out with him OP? What do you expect? He was probably thinking about sex before you two even spoke to each other!

    Good luck in taming the beast though
    I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
    Thanks haha
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    (Original post by Hannah550)
    Hey,

    I have been out with this guy I know from work twice now and I'm meeting him for a few drinks tonight. So far we have just held hands and kissed and atm that's all I'm ready for. I don't know what he expects from me and I haven't told him I'm a virgin. I'm not his girlfriend yet and I have heard that he is a bit of a player so don't want to get hurt. I only started talking to him properly on Monday and was wondering if I do decide to go out with him, how long I should make him wait? Do you think he is thinking about sex already?

    Thanks
    If he's a genuine player then he will probably be gracious about your hesitance. Just don't expect him to be exclusive to you, that's fair, right?
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    (Original post by Hannah550)
    I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
    Thanks haha
    Just remember that a lot of guys will say literally anything they think you want to hear in order to get into your pants.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Idiotic comment. Playing childish games only ever ends in disaster.
    No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.
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    He probably expects not to have to try as hard in bed to impress you. Less pressure all round. Just don't think about it
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    (Original post by Chr0n)
    No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.
    Thanks, that's what I am thinking too. We'll see
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    (Original post by Chr0n)
    No games. If she is not ready to have sex she should absolutely not do anything she does not want to. I just wanted to show, that it is'nt all bad to let him wait a bit. If he really likes her, he will wait until she is ready, if he is a player and only wants sex, he won't.
    Have you ever seen the film Two can Play that Game? Its about a happy couple whose relationship is irrevocably ruined because they keep listening to the "wisdom" of their friends, who say things like "you gotta make her jealous", "you gotta play hard to get" and other such *******s.


    Well, you remind me of the friend.
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    tell him you dont know what you expect from him then ask him what he wants from you. after your night out with him.
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    (Original post by Hannah550)
    I'm going out with him because I want to make my mind up about him for myself and not just listen to others.
    Thanks haha
    Tbh, you seem to have the right idea, 90% of the people posting in threads like yours will be women who have been hurt by KNOWN 'players', something which is inevitably 10% their own fault for getting into it recklessly.
    Basically tell him where you stand early on, make sure he's aware of your position, and then progress at your own pace.
    The cliché of saying 'make him wait, if he likes you he'll wait' doesn't mean "deliberately take it slow FOR THE SAKE OF testing him. It means take things at your own pace, and don't let him pressure you.
    they're not the same thing. but tbh, you sound fairly sensible.

    If it goes badly, PM me and i'll destroy his innocence ;D :cannon:

    good luck xD
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    (Original post by Hannah550)
    Hey,

    I have been out with this guy I know from work twice now and I'm meeting him for a few drinks tonight. So far we have just held hands and kissed and atm that's all I'm ready for. I don't know what he expects from me and I haven't told him I'm a virgin. I'm not his girlfriend yet and I have heard that he is a bit of a player so don't want to get hurt. I only started talking to him properly on Monday and was wondering if I do decide to go out with him, how long I should make him wait? Do you think he is thinking about sex already?

    Thanks
    Just whenever you feel ready for it, don't let him push you.

    He definitely is thinking about sex already, there's very very little doubt about it. But just go with the flow (hehe ) and let things go naturally.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Have you ever seen the film Two can Play that Game? Its about a happy couple whose relationship is irrevocably ruined because they keep listening to the "wisdom" of their friends, who say things like "you gotta make her jealous", "you gotta play hard to get" and other such *******s.


    Well, you remind me of the friend.
    You still don't seem to grasp it, so i'll try to point it out again.
    I do NOT advice for playing games. No one should play games in love matters.

    All I AM advicing is this:
    If she is not yet ready to have sex with him, she should not do anything she does not want to do.
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    (Original post by Chr0n)
    You still don't seem to grasp it, so i'll try to point it out again.
    I do NOT advice for playing games. No one should play games in love matters.

    All I AM advicing is this:
    If she is not yet ready to have sex with him, she should not do anything she does not want to do.
    That may be what you're saying now, but that's indisputably not what your first post said.
 
 
 
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