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Everyone has that one girl in particular they cant get over. watch

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    I've never had to say anything like this before. The past few months I've been on dates with a few different women, but nothing lasted for one reason or another. I'll no doubt go on more.

    I've known this girl since I was about 16, online, we finally met when I was about 20, she was 18, took a while mainly because I moved to another country (we are from the same country but not the same city) and have met up often since. I think theres always been an attraction but we were never single at the same time, until now.

    She came to mine last night and we went for a few drinks, flirted a lot, had a laugh, but I couldnt bring myself to go any further, I couldn't physically or mentally do it... the words were in my head but I couldnt say them, I froze, I was nervous, this never happens with other women, only with her.

    I'll end up thinking about her for the next few days and going through every bit of conversation we had pointing out to myself what I could have doine... we even slept in the same bed but I couldnt go any further, I was so afraid of even putting my arm around her incase she rejected me or something. She went home this morning, I blew another chance.

    I KNOW theres a mutual attraction, at least there was but I've probably blown my chance so many times who knows. we talked about it before but never did anything about it (different countries at the time) and now that I've moved back home we've met twice.

    Is it just me that gets this way with a particular person? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you get through it?

    Would a woman find it weird if a man asked them bluntly what exactly is going on?
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    You've known her too long and you've friend-zoned her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I
    Would a woman find it weird if a man asked them bluntly what exactly is going on?
    No! Women love talking about "where they stand". It's usually the guy who dreads that conversation. I suggest you tell her how you feel, and that you've been afraid to act because she might reject you. Consider that maybe she feels rejected since you slept in the same bed and nothing happened, and it might be nice for her to know why. Good luck! Hope it works out!
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    man up?
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    (Original post by Elise107)
    No! Women love talking about "where they stand". It's usually the guy who dreads that conversation. I suggest you tell her how you feel, and that you've been afraid to act because she might reject you. Consider that maybe she feels rejected since you slept in the same bed and nothing happened, and it might be nice for her to know why. Good luck! Hope it works out!
    You reckon? Never thought that women love talking about where they stand haha. "Okay what exactly is going on with us? you're impossible to read so I'm really not sure" is what I had in mind.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You reckon? Never thought that women love talking about where they stand haha. "Okay what exactly is going on with us? you're impossible to read so I'm really not sure" is what I had in mind.
    do it. But dont speak in an angry or frustrated tone, speak firmly but be friendly about it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You reckon? Never thought that women love talking about where they stand haha. "Okay what exactly is going on with us? you're impossible to read so I'm really not sure" is what I had in mind.
    Don't say the second bit, it sounds a little like you're blaming her. I'm sure she will want to talk about it too, I agree with the person who said it's usually guys who avoid such conversations.
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    just tell her how u feel - its not as if you having anything to lose? it's either you tell her and maybe u got a chance or never tell her or lose her forever? if you don't than it'll hang on ur conscience - trust me its cuming from sumone that was in a very very very very similar situation...... whatever u do though, dont go out with someone u dont feel for her just to get over her - ur life will become miserable and you'll forget to smile (well u will smile but when u see her or are with her)
    again from experience buddy

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    Thats basically it, I know that I will regret it if I don't say anything. Just need a non sappy way to say it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never had to say anything like this before. The past few months I've been on dates with a few different women, but nothing lasted for one reason or another. I'll no doubt go on more.

    I've known this girl since I was about 16, online, we finally met when I was about 20, she was 18, took a while mainly because I moved to another country (we are from the same country but not the same city) and have met up often since. I think theres always been an attraction but we were never single at the same time, until now.

    She came to mine last night and we went for a few drinks, flirted a lot, had a laugh, but I couldnt bring myself to go any further, I couldn't physically or mentally do it... the words were in my head but I couldnt say them, I froze, I was nervous, this never happens with other women, only with her.

    I'll end up thinking about her for the next few days and going through every bit of conversation we had pointing out to myself what I could have doine... we even slept in the same bed but I couldnt go any further, I was so afraid of even putting my arm around her incase she rejected me or something. She went home this morning, I blew another chance.

    I KNOW theres a mutual attraction, at least there was but I've probably blown my chance so many times who knows. we talked about it before but never did anything about it (different countries at the time) and now that I've moved back home we've met twice.

    Is it just me that gets this way with a particular person? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you get through it?

    Would a woman find it weird if a man asked them bluntly what exactly is going on?
    Disagree completely tbh.

    If you find someone else and truly fall in love with them you will be over any old flame. That's what the case is for me any way.

    I once dumped a girl because we were fighting a lot and I never thought I'd get over her but I did. I was crazy for my best female friend for a year or two (we never actually did anything but I still really liked her) and now I'm over her too.

    Now I'm with my current gf not only am I over them but they wouldn't stand a chance. My best female friend is still my best female friend and even if she tried it on (which she wouldn't because she's got a bf) I would reject her. Despite how much I used to like her and how gorgeous she is, none of it matters now I've actually found someone I love.

    Eventually you'll find someone that will not only make you get over every other girl you've liked but will also make all the rejection/heartbreak worth it because it all led to you ending up with her.

    True story
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    Is there a way to say this without sounding like a complete pussy?

    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    Disagree completely tbh.

    If you find someone else and truly fall in love with them you will be over any old flame. That's what the case is for me any way.

    I once dumped a girl because we were fighting a lot and I never thought I'd get over her but I did. I was crazy for my best female friend for a year or two (we never actually did anything but I still really liked her) and now I'm over her too.

    Now I'm with my current gf not only am I over them but they wouldn't stand a chance. My best female friend is still my best female friend and even if she tried it on (which she wouldn't because she's got a bf) I would reject her. Despite how much I used to like her and how gorgeous she is, none of it matters now I've actually found someone I love.

    Eventually you'll find someone that will not only make you get over every other girl you've liked but will also make all the rejection/heartbreak worth it because it all led to you ending up with her.

    True story
    Suppose mate, but this isnt an old flame, we've never been together at any time. this has been pretty consistent with every woman I've went out with, it goes well (or doesnt last very long) then I meet this girl again somewhere down the line and its back to square one for me, cant get her out of my head and the other relationship ends. Been happening for years. I tried so hard to move on, I even stopped contacting her for a while or not being very responsive, outright ignoring almost all contact but it didnt help and probably just ended up alienating her somehow which is what I dont want.

    I'm going to try and meet up with her soon, see how it goes, and actually have the *******s to make a move. I can do it with other women, I can do it with her too!!
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    Are you sure you feeling this way is not just because nothing's ever happened between the two of you? I mean the thought of what could be. If you ask her out and she rejects you, you would probably get over her and be able to focus on others.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never had to say anything like this before. The past few months I've been on dates with a few different women, but nothing lasted for one reason or another. I'll no doubt go on more.

    I've known this girl since I was about 16, online, we finally met when I was about 20, she was 18, took a while mainly because I moved to another country (we are from the same country but not the same city) and have met up often since. I think theres always been an attraction but we were never single at the same time, until now.

    She came to mine last night and we went for a few drinks, flirted a lot, had a laugh, but I couldnt bring myself to go any further, I couldn't physically or mentally do it... the words were in my head but I couldnt say them, I froze, I was nervous, this never happens with other women, only with her.

    I'll end up thinking about her for the next few days and going through every bit of conversation we had pointing out to myself what I could have doine... we even slept in the same bed but I couldnt go any further, I was so afraid of even putting my arm around her incase she rejected me or something. She went home this morning, I blew another chance.

    I KNOW theres a mutual attraction, at least there was but I've probably blown my chance so many times who knows. we talked about it before but never did anything about it (different countries at the time) and now that I've moved back home we've met twice.

    Is it just me that gets this way with a particular person? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you get through it?

    Would a woman find it weird if a man asked them bluntly what exactly is going on?
    Friend zone...

    And yes, you can get over her. It just takes a lil' time.
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    If you are in the friend zone and try it on then........................ Be prepared for a horrible ending to your love story. I learnt that the hard way but maybe I was doing it wrong
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    Well I did it. I basically told her the reason I didn't try anything, and that I'm not long out of a relationship either (which is true, but I'm more ready to move on than she is at the minute). I said what I was thinking, how I felt, and a few other things. I don't think shes ready, her relationship was far far longer than mine.. I dont want to come across as pressurising, that does no one any good. If she wants to be with me then I want her to come to that conclusion herself.

    I'll see how it goes from there, I'm just glad I said what I had to say, I know I would have regretted it if I didn't. Next time I see her I'm making the move, whatever happens.

    Thanks everyone
 
 
 
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