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For those at university and beyond who got bullied in school ... Watch

  • View Poll Results: Are you still affected from bullying at school?
    Yes
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    39.39%
    No
    20
    60.61%

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    Do the long term effects of bullying still affect you? If so, how?

    For me, I have a physical scar with my neck from when I got punched for no reason.
    This, coupled with my mental problems, has left me with big OCD and obsession problems.
    • #1
    #1

    Yes. It's hard to trust people, even when you think you do. I suppose depression comes more easily, but the main problem is that when you think that you're finally getting out there and meeting new people, what happens is (and this is trend for me, personally) the person you do end up trusting manages to somehow break it.

    It's humanity, I suppose. You can either risk it and hope to get all you've wanted, or logically, not play at all to avoid unnecessary strife.

    I just read this back to myself and I realised that it's just silly to still give a crap about other people. Forget about it, focus on the future.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes. It's hard to trust people, even when you think you do. I suppose depression comes more easily, but the main problem is that when you think that you're finally getting out there and meeting new people, what happens is (and this is trend for me, personally) the person you do end up trusting manages to somehow break it.

    It's humanity, I suppose. You can either risk it and hope to get all you've wanted, or logically, not play at all to avoid unnecessary strife.

    I just read this back to myself and I realised that it's just silly to still give a crap about other people. Forget about it, focus on the future.
    its difficult to forget sometimes, in fact most of the time.
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    It has for me, but recently (I'm 26), it's become much less of an issue. Up until about 23 I was very self-conscious, paranoid and had little self asteem. I let people walk all over me essentially, and I was really quite unhappy with myself. I don't know what happened, I just sort of.. Grew out of it. If people take the piss I'll confront them, I say what I think, I'm quite outgoing and pay very little regard to what people thing of me, my looks or my work. I'm happy in my own skin, but that's not to say the old insecurities don't sneak in every so often, but I think that's fairly normal.

    Bullying is shockingly detrimental to people's lives though I "missed out" on lots of my childhood and adolescence because of it.
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    I'd also just like to point out that having my Doctoral/ modeling careers blossom whilst they shove their nasty fat arses and hoardes of illegitimate children around the council estates of Grimsby is somewhat of a consolation.
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    Yes, I've got an anxiety disorder and I'm frightened to socialise with people my own age. Older adults are OK, anyone my age I just wait until they talk to me - and I'm always scared to trust them fully.
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    I wouldn't really say I was bullied in the way you're talking about. I mean, everyone is picked on at some point I think, but some worse than others. I wasn't bullied but there were some real dicks at school.

    Now they're all coke head builders who spend their free time at the bookies. Whereas the people who were severely bullied at school are now - doctors, parachute regiment soldiers, models, etc, etc.

    If you were bullied, it usually means you've got something to be jealious of. It's usually intelligence.
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    I wouldn't really say I was bullied in the way you're talking about. I mean, everyone is picked on at some point I think, but some worse than others. I wasn't bullied but there were some real dicks at school.

    Now they're all coke head builders who spend their free time at the bookies. Whereas the people who were severely bullied at school are now - doctors, parachute regiment soldiers, models, etc, etc.

    If you were bullied, it usually means you've got something to be jealious of. It's usually intelligence.
    But I went to a grammar school, where everyone is supposed to be intelligent.

    The guy who punched me later told me he wanted to be my friend ... WTF
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    (Original post by rooney1000)
    The guy who punched me later told me he wanted to be my friend ... WTF
    You know that when guys get in a punch up it shows where the line is then you can become friends and no where to stop in future

    On topic, I was bullied for a little while but I got over it... if you let things that happen in the past keep you back, you will never go forward... so no I am not affected although I don't trust people but then I never trusted people before I was bullied.
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    Well I dunno really.

    I guess I'm a lot tougher now, I'm willing to fight and I get more aggressive than I used to. Apart from that I think I'm the same.

    EDIT: I don't think being bullied has negatively affected me socially, I am more bubbly now if anything. I used to be painfully shy. I am wary when it comes to trusting, but I've always been like that anyway.
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    (Original post by Schroedinger's Pandora)
    I'd also just like to point out that having my Doctoral/ modeling careers blossom whilst they shove their nasty fat arses and hoardes of illegitimate children around the council estates of Grimsby is somewhat of a consolation.
    Makes you sound bitter.
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    (Original post by TheRustaman)
    Makes you sound bitter.

    Yeah a little. If you knew what they put me through and for how long, you'd probably understand why.
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    I'm only at college, but I'll add.
    The girls that used to bully me are now all pregnant, unemployed or alcoholics.

    I was never the brightest kid, but I've managed to do 3 years of college. Get decent grades, and I'm off to uni in September.
    I'm happy that I've basically proved myself to them, my family & friends.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Schroedinger's Pandora)
    It has for me, but recently (I'm 26), it's become much less of an issue. Up until about 23 I was very self-conscious, paranoid and had little self asteem. I let people walk all over me essentially, and I was really quite unhappy with myself. I don't know what happened, I just sort of.. Grew out of it. If people take the piss I'll confront them, I say what I think, I'm quite outgoing and pay very little regard to what people thing of me, my looks or my work. I'm happy in my own skin, but that's not to say the old insecurities don't sneak in every so often, but I think that's fairly normal.

    Bullying is shockingly detrimental to people's lives though I "missed out" on lots of my childhood and adolescence because of it.


    Very sad to hear, I'm sort of the same. It's so terrible the way it makes you question everything about yourself. Even today I still can't function without thinking the problem is me, whether It's how I look, if I'm sane, if I'm normal.

    All due to a pack of ***** who made up my peers.


    All the very best to your goodself, sounds like you are making life work for you.
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    I was actually ridiculed for years by my own family members (especially my Roman Catholic grandmother, so much so that when she died, I had to force myself to fake-cry at her funeral so that I wouldn't offend anyone), bullied throughout primary school and changed high schools twice for homophobic incidences. My mom allowed me to transfer only after finding out I had been skipping school for weeks at a time. I had to explain that I was having problems with the students, but couldn't explain what the problems were for obvious reasons. At the second school, I attended only two days before, again, refusing to go back because I was approached and physically assaulted by two girls during lunch hour. Their justification was that I was "sitting on their bench"... or something. I found more acceptance at the third high school I attended, but I was already pretty scared by past experiences and became extremely sensitive and withdrawn. I had an acute social anxiety for my last two years of high school and a nervous breakdown when I entered uni.

    This doesn't happen to everyone, unfortunately, but people who didn't treat me so kindly in school have actually apologized to me for it. One girl in particular used to act extremely snotty and homophobic toward me at the first school I attended - a time when I tried very hard (and very unsuccessfully) to hide my sexuality. Years later, after moving to another country and marrying her girlfriend, she got in contact with me and apologized. We're actually great friends now. I was also fortunate to have enough positive experiences in middle school and high school as well. So, it wasn't all bad and I don't take myself or anything I've experienced too seriously.

    I realize people have been and are treated much, much worse and nothing in my past has scared me enough to keep me from becoming a fully functional, casually social, academically and career successful human being. It really only affects my more intimate relationships. One trend I do see is my unhealthy tolerance for and susceptibility to abuse and mistreatment, instead of triumphantly saying, "f*ck you". Sometimes I wish I thought in such simple terms. But, it may be out of simple familiarity and illogical rationality that I somehow deserve it for some reason I may have conjured up on my own... and I have mild OCD tendencies (such as typing up long, drawn out explanations like this on the subject) that stem from this issue particularly, but this is something I'm also well aware of.
 
 
 
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