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Is it unfair to tell your boyfriend you'll break up with him if he goes to Amsterdam? watch

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    (Original post by reisen)
    Hmmm people say "if you don't trust him you shouldn't be together" but he really doesn't need to deliberately put temptation in his path. he'll be there drinking with his friends who will be going to strip clubs and probably brothels - not a good situation and I wouldn't be happy with it. I say if he doesn't understand why you're upset and respect your feelings then he's a bit of a ****-if he'd rather go and have some random fun in Amsterdam than have you.
    What makes you think a guy must visit prostitutes in Amsetrdam?

    Maybe he's going to go, get stoned, go out drinking and clubbing.
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    has he cheated on you before?

    my friends were considering this once (a holiday to amsterdam) and i said my girlfriend would go mad because its the sex capital, so i said about it casually to her and she said to me 'but you might die'. puzzled about her response, i questioned her for her reasons and it was then clear she got amsterdam confused with afghanastan :rolleyes:
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    To be fair, we have no idea what OP's bf is like! He may be completely trust worthy, or 'one of the lads'....It really depends on him whether or not her ultimatum is unreasonable.
    She obviously thinks that going to amsterdam = cheating on her. I don't think saying "if you cheat on me it's over" is unreasonable for a girlfriend.

    If it was my boyfriend, I'd feel exactly the same. But then, my bf wouldn't have to 'get the lads together' to go to amsterdam, as he'd have just as much fun going with me

    Lets face it, a lot of guys are going there for the prozzies. I like how most guys are posting "amsterdam is a cultural place with more to it than the red light district" - but OP's bf is staying entirely within the red light district the whole time, I doubt he's going for the culture!

    Ps. I need to get myself to one of these 'banana shows'! :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Am I being unreasonable.

    If so, why?
    Yes.
    Because it is not your place to boss him around.
    It is his life.
    As long as he doesn't cheat on you, then what is the problem?

    Personally, I'd be surprised if your bf doesn't dump you if you do give him an "ultimatum".
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship?

    Simple question really...
    (Original post by lilywolf)
    If you can't trust him if he goes, then you shouldn't be together.
    I hate it when people say this. Its insincere, flippant and borderline naive. People are allowed to have shaky moments of trust in their relationship you know. Just because someone has doubts about something doesnt mean they should walk out of the relationship.

    And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
    Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.
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    My friend has a girlfriend like you... Please leave him for his sake. He is now 4 years into the relationship and he has turned into the most boring tosser on the planet. It is like he has had his balls taken from him. The RLD only has a very small hooker part that is rather easily avoidable. In fact, all the best coffeeshops are over a mile away from there because it's a tourist trap.
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    Totally and weirdly unreasonable
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    Yep I'd see this as unfair, by all means express your concerns about the red light district, if he just goes to look then it would be harsh to end it, if he does anything else then that's up to you. But you really don't have much right to stop him going on holiday with his friends =/
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    I hate it when people say this. Its insincere, flippant and borderline naive. People are allowed to have shaky moments of trust in their relationship you know. Just because someone has doubts about something doesnt mean they should walk out of the relationship.

    And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
    Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.
    Agree with all this and ditto.
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    You're being unreasonable, you obviously don't trust him enough because you think he'll go to a hooker. Just because they're staying in the red light district doesn't mean that he's going to cheat on you.
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    Clearly you know you're mental, hence the reason you're anonymous. Probably a troll I suspect
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
    But there is a huge difference in "not being happy" and dumping him if he does.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    And anyway, I wouldnt be happy with my boyfriend staying in the red light district of Amsterdam with his group of mates either. Recipe for disaster.
    Although I wouldnt give him an ultimatum.

    But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

    Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.
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    Yes, completely. I can't believe you're even asking the question.

    You clearly do not trust him at all, for whatever reason. You probably shouldn't be in this relationship.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

    Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.
    Well my boyfriend's actually done it.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Well my boyfriend's actually done it.
    Ah right, I understand your concern then. That probably doesn't apply to the average guy in general though, or the OP's boyfriend in particular.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm just trying to work out if he's being a cow or not.

    Basically, he wants to go to Amsterdam with his guy mates, get stoned and stay in the red light district.

    I am not comfortable with this at all, so I have offered the ultimatum of if he goes, that's it. Am I being unreasonable.

    If so, why?

    Not unreasonable at all.

    Lets face it, the red light district is for one thing: prostitutes.

    He can get get stoned and stay with his mates somewhere else in amsterdam. But they have specifically chosen that area.
    They are going for sex

    I am a guy and if my gf said to this to me i would at least try to understand her concerns. If he calls you unreasonable: get rid of him - plenty of good guys around who dont bang hookers.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    But still, you obviously don't think much of your partner's self-control or moral standards if you think a visit to Amsterdam is a "recipe for disaster".

    Jesus, I've been to Amsterdam loads of times, and the thought of sleeping with a hooker never even crossed my mind once.
    I like to pretend they are women trapped in glass boxes banging to get out :lol:. I mean, if the OP had actually been to Amsterdam she'd realise that almost all the hookers look like this:
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...93_468x526.jpg

    Hardly inviting. And the higher end ones would cost him a months wages, so she'll soon know if he's done it.

    [EDIT] This is too boner inducing to leave out:
    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/71/18...cb8415dde6.jpg
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    Totally harsh OP. I'd ditch you if you gave me that ultimatum.
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    (Original post by lawbot)
    Not unreasonable at all.

    Lets face it, the red light district is for one thing: prostitutes.

    He can get get stoned and stay with his mates somewhere else in amsterdam. But they have specifically chosen that area.
    They are going for sex

    I am a guy and if my gf said to this to me i would at least try to understand her concerns. If he calls you unreasonable: get rid of him - plenty of good guys around who dont bang hookers.
    What a load of absolute horse ****.
 
 
 
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