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Is it unfair to tell your boyfriend you'll break up with him if he goes to Amsterdam? watch

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    Unreasonable.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Well my boyfriend's actually done it.
    Don't assume everyone is like your boyfriend.

    (Original post by lawbot)
    get rid of him - plenty of good guys around who dont bang hookers.
    And where is the evidence that her bf is going to?
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    I don't think many young blokes would bother to pay for a hooker, when they can pick up a drunk girl for free. And if he's the kind to pick up a drunk girl when he has a girlfriend, you shouldn't be with him whether he goes on the holiday or not. So why are you so concerned?

    I've been to Amsterdam myself, and the RLD is a bit of a letdown, to be honest. It's surprising to see the women in the windows at first, but they're just standing around so it's not particularly dirty. If your boyfriend watches porn, he's going to find the RLD a bit of a disappointment.




    If she thinks that going to Amsterdam means he'll cheat on her, she shouldn't be with him at all. Not because he's going to Amsterdam, but because she has zero trust in him. Just because he's a bit of a lad, doesn't mean he can't keep his **** in his pants.

    And no, a lot of the guys don't go there for the prostitutes. The RLD is basically the party central of Amsterdam, so they're more likely to be staying there for the boozing and drunken antics, and maybe a quick look in the windows, than to sleep with the prostitutes. And Amsterdam does have more than just prostitutes, so is it really that unlikely that they'd spend the day seeing the normal things in Amsterdam, and the nights boozing in the clubs?
    A lot of people have said this particular bit (in different ways), but really is it that black and white? Don't quote me on the stats but isn't like 60% of people who had (or are in) LTR's admit to cheating? And the evidence does suggest that humans aren't meant to be monogamous. So it's safe to say that if we had to immediately break it off with everyone we thought might cheat if given the opportunity (ie lots of drink, single guy mates, strange country, easy ladies), then the human race is in trouble.

    I'm not saying all men who go there are gonna cheat, but, everyone makes (drunken one night only) mistakes :rolleyes:
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    this utterly ridiculous. and all the harpies jumping in have never been to Amsterdam/are labouring under the impression that all it is is a prossie haven. I've been, it isnt.
    i think everyone should go at least once in their lifetime; definitely an experience!

    youre his girlfriend, you have no right to issue ultimatums about where he goes on holiday.

    what youre doing is incredibly unfair and will only lead him to leave you/be resentful of you for a very long time.
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    (Original post by Athena21)
    A lot of people have said this particular bit (in different ways), but really is it that black and white? Don't quote me on the stats but isn't like 60% of people who had (or are in) LTR's admit to cheating? And the evidence does suggest that humans aren't meant to be monogamous. So it's safe to say that if we had to immediately break it off with everyone we thought might cheat if given the opportunity (ie lots of drink, single guy mates, strange country, easy ladies), then the human race is in trouble.

    I'm not saying all men who go there are gonna cheat, but, everyone makes (drunken one night only) mistakes :rolleyes:
    look this is ridiculous, i read a study that said 25% of married people cheat, another said 75%.

    your trust and relationship with someone should not be based on statistics especially ones with so many variables!

    i agree with your point about in bold though.
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    Sure it isn't some practical April Fool's Joke?
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    If you're actually going to break up with him..then no its not, because you're letting him know. If you're not going to break up ...then whats the point?

    If you cant trust him when his with his friends (which actually quite a few girls dont), then you shouldnt be with him....find someone you cant trust when they're with their friends. It's quite stupid that you're bf told you that he would get 'stoned' and stay in the red light district....which person says that to their partner and expects nothing back :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by petitflam)
    look this is ridiculous, i read a study that said 25% of married people cheat, another said 75%.

    your trust and relationship with someone should not be based on statistics especially ones with so many variables!

    i agree with your point about in bold though.
    Thank you

    Oh and I'm not saying that I'm trusting the stats, I'm using them to back up the point that you bolded.

    Also, I was just giving my take on what's going through OP's mind, etc, not necessarily agreeing that she's right, or that I would treat my bf the same way...

    I can't even get my bf to go download festival with me, let alone amsterdam
    So no trust issues there then...
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    I know how you feel, but you're being unreasonable.
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    (Original post by Lizia)
    I'd say it was that black and white. If I think someone will cheat on me, I don't waste my time dating them. Occasional fleeting doubts are normal of course, but not to the point of ultimatums and banning a holiday with his friends. If you seriously think your boyfriend will cheat on you, to the point you behave like the OP, you shouldn't be with them.

    Right, and the kind of person who makes "drunken one night only" mistakes isn't any more likely to make them in Amsterdam than anywhere else, surely? What possible reason is there for the OP to worry he'll cheat in Amsterdam, but not anywhere else? Does she ban him from going on any nights out with his mates if she isn't present? There's no shortage of booze, single guy mates and easy ladies in the UK, why does it being 'a strange country' make it more likely he'll cheat?

    If it's prostitutes she's worried about, she's an idiot. If he isn't the type to cheat with a girl in a club, I'd say he's even less likely to pay for a prostitute. And even if he was the kind to cheat, it would be safer for him to cheat with a prostitute, because they insist on condoms, get regular STI checks and have no interest in their clients once the deed is done. The RLD in Amsterdam is pretty strongly regulated, these aren't risky women like they would be in the UK. Compare that to a girl in a bar who won't necessarily use protection and had no proof she's clean, and who might turn up later and cause problems for the OP and his girlfriend.


    The RLD is the place in Amsterdam with the best nightlife (and that isn't a euphemism for banging hookers) and so that's why they're staying there. The prostitutes are usually not massively attractive, and they're not doing anything slutty in the windows to lure your poor innocent boyfriend into paying for sex with them (ie you'd see more slutty behaviour in a music video). In short, anyone who has actually been to Amsterdam will tell you you're overreacting. And I think that says more than people who've never been spouting their preconceptions of the place based on the fact there's a few hookers in windows :dontknow:
    I think you care about this a little bit too much, and are reading too much into my posts....
    Did you not just read how I said "I'm just giving an explanation behind OP's reasoning" and how I'm not saying this has anything to do with me personally?

    I'm not worried about my boyfriend, who isn't planning going to amsterdam. Thats the OP :rolleyes:

    I feel for the poor girl, who is just worried about her relationship....and I feel for you too, as you clearly feel very strongly about a topic thats been discussed to death

    EDIT: I think I should make it clear that I'm not taking this quite as seriously as you think
    And I've highlighted in bold the bits that I found funny/silly/ironic
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    I really despair for this country. I do.
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    amsterdam red light area =/= sex
    im pretty sure its just a very touristy place with good hotel prices, me and my mates were planning a trip and would have been staying there despite none of us wanting a hooker
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    (Original post by in_vogue)
    What makes you think a guy must visit prostitutes in Amsetrdam?

    Maybe he's going to go, get stoned, go out drinking and clubbing.
    ok! i don't know the guy. If he's decent then she has nothing to worry about, I think I've just seen too many of my friends going out with pricks but then they didn't need to go to the red light district to get with other girls. I think the most reassuring thing OP can read is this:

    (Original post by trig)
    The red light district isn't even THAT seedy. It's much smaller than I imagined. Most of it is based around one street. Some sex shops, some ladies pouting in windows whilst standing in their underwear, nothing stunning.
    I was staying very close to the area, most men (and women) I saw just went out to look at the girls not to sleep with them, and that even includes the numerous british 'lads' on a stag do.
    Yes some of the girls are pretty, (and some are.... very unusual), but to be honest espeically when you weigh in the factor of paying for it/risking her not being clean, I think it's just as likely if he was going to cheat that he would do it at home. I've seen pretty-enough girls on nights out not wearing too much more than the 'dam girls, and they threw themselves at lads even more (and obviously for free too..).

    However he might go to a 'banana show'. I'm female, and well... even I was tempted. Sound's hilarious
    Re-reading my posts I can understand why guys were pissed off, it does make it sound like they're untrustworthy and have no self control. I just know that some people can act differently away from home and after a few drinks can get swept along in the atmosphere
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    Having actually been to Amsterdam for my birthday with my friends, I can categorically say that we all had great fun and nobody ever visited a window girl once. Only one of us had a girlfriend as well. The Red Light District is not some haven of sex and other dirty activities. It's just a tourist area with loads of bars, hostels (I stayed in a hostel right in the middle of the RLD) and shops. Yes there are prostitutes, but if you have no interest in visiting one (many tourists don't), then they're just an occasional backdrop you walk past. All they do is stand at their window in a bra and knickers. Very rarely do they try and 'seduce' passers-by. You see far dodgier stuff in today's music videos to be honest. In fact the number of windows have greatly decreased in recent years due to the Dutch government clamping down on gangs and trafficking.

    Plus there's more to Amsterdam than the RLD. There's loads of stuff to do outside of it such as the Van Gogh museum, the Anne Frank exhibition and such. It's generally a really fun city.

    I realise my post sounds a bit like a travel brochure. This was not intentional.
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    (Original post by Elipsis)
    I like to pretend they are women trapped in glass boxes banging to get out :lol:. I mean, if the OP had actually been to Amsterdam she'd realise that almost all the hookers look like this:
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/...93_468x526.jpg

    Hardly inviting. And the higher end ones would cost him a months wages, so she'll soon know if he's done it.

    [EDIT] This is too boner inducing to leave out:
    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/71/18...cb8415dde6.jpg
    oh blooming heck thats a bit rough

    though out of morbid curiosity do you have any pics of the higher spectrum girls.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    oh blooming heck thats a bit rough

    though out of morbid curiosity do you have any pics of the higher spectrum girls.
    Few pictures of window girls exist because you are not allowed to take photos of them. I believe you can incur a fine if you do.

    Frankly a boyfriend is more likely to cheat on his partner with some drunk girl in a club in a city one night than he is with a prostitute in Amsterdam. Not least because the former would be far cheaper. If you can't trust him to go to Amsterdam then to be honest your trust in him was never that great to begin with.
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    My girlfriend had no problem going on two Amsterdam trips in the last couple of years with the lads. In fact she's coming with me next week just us two. But I guess we can't all have decent girlfriends.

    I feel sorry for your boyfriend, but I'd tell him it's not worth having a psychotic girlfriend.
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    It seems highly unreasonable on your part, Amsterdam is a lot lot more than prostitutes.

    Actually i'd say he'd be less likely to cheat in Amsterdam than a local club back in the UK, presumably he'll get pretty stoned - which i doubt he'll want to mix greatly with alcohol, and thus will be more in control of his senses and less likely to make a sporadic and ultimately regretable decision.
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    are you someone i know from my school? is your boyfriend going with a group of 8 people? i'm going to amsterdam and one guy coming along has a girlfriend O.O
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    How much do you trust him ?
    He might just get stoned and not do anything too bad.
 
 
 
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