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Any girl here that would wait forever for a guy to make the first move? Watch

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    I'm on the other side of the story at the moment.

    I'm liking this girl and not sure if she's liking me? But obviously don't want to say or ask anything incase she's like no. Then I look like a ****.

    What happens?
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    (Original post by Danz123)
    OK, but if it's someone you really like, you'd probably be happy to be in a relationship with them in the first place, plus if you knew them well and socialise with them, then knowing whether you two would work out isn't as much of an issue.

    Saying 'those are my standards' doesn't really address my point. It's fine for you to have those standards, but you have to show that you possess those qualities. If you don't, it might end up being a bit of a one-sided relationship, with the guy trying harder to impress and do various other things, and you just floating along.

    Of course it's true that looks, to some extent, are important. However, you're saying that it's because of appearance that most people ask others out? Not really. In fact I'd say quite a few ask others out that they know well, and with personalities that they find attractive; which arguably, is what lays the foundation for the best relationships. Both personality and appearance are what makes a person attractive overall.
    hmm i think i interpreted as someone you see all the time but don't know well at all.... in that case i agree with you on that one!

    yes, but what i'm saying is that just because i have those standards doesn't mean that i don't possess those qualities too. if we take it in terms of long term good friends, then they should know my qualities pretty well right? In that case, it wouldn't be one-sided and i'd be doing more leading than floating - just because i dont decide to initiate the relationship doesn't mean that i can't take take control later on.

    ahhh this again is due to the fact that i interpreted it as a guy you only know by face etc but rarely speak to - in this case it would be appearance. yes - i go for personality over looks definitely, and it's true that both make a person attractive. if i knew the guy for a longer time then personality would prevail over looks.


    what were we fighting about again?
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    (Original post by Star_struck)
    hmm i think i interpreted as someone you see all the time but don't know well at all.... in that case i agree with you on that one!

    yes, but what i'm saying is that just because i have those standards doesn't mean that i don't possess those qualities too. if we take it in terms of long term good friends, then they should know my qualities pretty well right? In that case, it wouldn't be one-sided and i'd be doing more leading than floating - just because i dont decide to initiate the relationship doesn't mean that i can't take take control later on.

    ahhh this again is due to the fact that i interpreted it as a guy you only know by face etc but rarely speak to - in this case it would be appearance. yes - i go for personality over looks definitely, and it's true that both make a person attractive. if i knew the guy for a longer time then personality would prevail over looks.


    what were we fighting about again?
    Thanks for agreeing with me. xD

    Well, I think that it takes much more courage to initiate the relationship, than it does to take control later on. You'd know that you're both exclusive, and it's easy to go on from that point and put more effort in. However it's harder to pluck up the courage to ask someone out, because you're taking that risk, and hoping that it will pay off. That shows the person likes you a lot and isn't afraid to go the distance. It's just my opinion that if you expect someone to show that courage, so you'd know they were interested, isn't it fair for them to want the same from you?

    Good, then you agree with me here also.

    You are now looking at the larger paragraph I have written, surrounded by the sentence-paragraphs, and trying to argue against it. :P
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    I wouldn't wait forever but I will make a move !!!
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    (Original post by Danz123)
    Thanks for agreeing with me. xD

    Well, I think that it takes much more courage to initiate the relationship, than it does to take control later on. You'd know that you're both exclusive, and it's easy to go on from that point and put more effort in. However it's harder to pluck up the courage to ask someone out, because you're taking that risk, and hoping that it will pay off. That shows the person likes you a lot and isn't afraid to go the distance. It's just my opinion that if you expect someone to show that courage, so you'd know they were interested, isn't it fair for them to want the same from you?

    Good, then you agree with me here also.

    You are now looking at the larger paragraph I have written, surrounded by the sentence-paragraphs, and trying to argue against it. :P
    ahaha

    hmmm to be fair courage is tested throughout the whole relationship....not just courage to ask someone out, but courage to speak your mind in spite of the fact it may ruin your relationship, courage to throw your pride away and apologise to the one you're in a relationship with, courage to walk away.....etc. Asking someone out is the easiest part!!! It s the relationship that's the hardest part!!!

    this i will never agree with you on - courage is not a one time thing, it should be continual.
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    (Original post by Star_struck)
    ahaha

    hmmm to be fair courage is tested throughout the whole relationship....not just courage to ask someone out, but courage to speak your mind in spite of the fact it may ruin your relationship, courage to throw your pride away and apologise to the one you're in a relationship with, courage to walk away.....etc. Asking someone out is the easiest part!!! It s the relationship that's the hardest part!!!

    this i will never agree with you on - courage is not a one time thing, it should be continual.


    I wouldn't really say those examples take a lot of courage. If you can speak your mind, it just means that you don't like being subservient, and care about putting your views forward, and if your ideas ruin the relationship; personally I don't think it's a relationship I'd want to be in. If you can swallow your pride, it's more that you're doing the right thing that pushes you, rather than courage. Being able to walk away just means that you may think the relationship isn't working out, and know when to walk. If you feel tied in some way to the relationship, for no real reason, that would show no backbone, and maybe control on the guy's/girl's part. Asking someone out is definitely the part that takes the most courage, and I think, especially for people who have known each other for a while, that it is the hardest part.

    I'm not saying courage isn't continual, in fact those examples you mentioned would need elements of courage demonstrated in order for them to be implemented. However they do not take as much sheer courage as asking someone out.
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    (Original post by Star_struck)
    but jeez don't u want ur woman to have a bit of mystery!?!?!?!
    No, not really.
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    I would wait.
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    (Original post by Danz123)


    I wouldn't really say those examples take a lot of courage. If you can speak your mind, it just means that you don't like being subservient, and care about putting your views forward, and if your ideas ruin the relationship; personally I don't think it's a relationship I'd want to be in. If you can swallow your pride, it's more that you're doing the right thing that pushes you, rather than courage. Being able to walk away just means that you may think the relationship isn't working out, and know when to walk. If you feel tied in some way to the relationship, for no real reason, that would show no backbone, and maybe control on the guy's/girl's part. Asking someone out is definitely the part that takes the most courage, and I think, especially for people who have known each other for a while, that it is the hardest part.

    I'm not saying courage isn't continual, in fact those examples you mentioned would need elements of courage demonstrated in order for them to be implemented. However they do not take as much sheer courage as asking someone out.
    hmm unless u've been in these situations i don't think you really have grounds to argue :P despite all your spiel i still maintain that asking someone out is merely the first of MANY hurdles in a relationship, and is in no way the hardest. all the explanations that you have given STILL have one thing in common = COURAGE.....

    i still maintain that courage is something that is harder and harder to muster up the longer you've been in a relationship and there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind :cool:

    we will just have to agree to disagree after all
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    (Original post by CB91)
    No, not really.
    ah so u'd be happy with someone extremely predictable then...............oooooook
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    (Original post by Star_struck)
    ah so u'd be happy with someone extremely predictable then...............oooooook
    Not being mysterious doesn't = predictable.

    I'd be happy with a head strong woman that knew what she wanted and went and got it. Rather than one that would sit there and wait forever.
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    I've been waiting over a year. I know its never gonna happen. I'm not gonna say anything to him.
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    I think that asking a guy out easier said than done, especially if you're quite quiet like myself. I would only do it if I was fairly sure that the guy liked me, and I've come close to doing it but then I started getting mixed signals and gave up with it. And I think in terms of waiting it depends how long it takes me to get over them. I wait for as long as I have feelings for them (which can be a very long time :/ ), but over time I get less preoccupied with them anyway. Sometimes it's easy to get over guys, but to be honest, I think I'm prone to relapse with these things.
 
 
 
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