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Parents want me to marry my cousin... watch

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    ****in do it bruv. Fresh girls man she'll be tight af ra. Manz gotta break the seal init.
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    (Original post by Worldwide Ummah)
    ****in do it bruv. Fresh girls man she'll be tight af ra. Manz gotta break the seal init.
    Worldwide Ummah yeah hahaha
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    (Original post by Miser101)
    Arrange marriages are ok, as long as they are not your cousin and your parents ain't picking for you, it should be your decision, solely your decision
    I don't think you get what an arranged marriage is lol, baso it's usually parents or family that look for you and you must approve otherwise it's a forced marriage. Tbh I think cousin marriages are odd but if people want to then why not
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    (Original post by purplepurple29)
    I don't think you get what an arranged marriage is lol, baso it's usually parents or family that look for you and you must approve otherwise it's a forced marriage. Tbh I think cousin marriages are odd but if people want to then why not
    Coconut
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    Are you Mirpuri?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Come on... you kinda knew this thread was from an Asian, didn't you?

    Long read ahead sorry so apologies in advance.

    So, I'm a British Asian. Pakistani to be exact. I've lived in Britain all my life but was born in Pakistan. Both my parents have large families in Pakistan (6 or 7 siblings each) and before you ask, no my parents aren't cousins, thankfully. This marrying one's cousin thing is quite popular in Pakistan since they want to "keep things in the family" and it's apparantly promoted by Quran as well, although I'm only a moderate Muslim so can't tell if it is or not myself. My aunties and uncles, on my mum's side as far as I know, have married some of their children to each other. Now these children aren't some uneducated layabouts in a tiny village in Pakistan. These people are either aborad and have a university education or have taken over their family business and taken it to new heights. So I'm assuming that they knew the risks and dangers of having children with their cousin...

    Now, I'm 19 and went to Pakistan for the first time in 10 years last year. We stayed at my auntie's house (more of a mansion tbh...) where they had about 5 staff working for them and a driver and 2 bodyguards/watchmen. I felt very uncomfortable about that but that's another topic for another time. So we were there for about a month and the only person my age in that house was their daughter, my cousin, who turned 18 recently I think. I hadn't seen this girl for 10/12 years and couldn't remember how she looked like. Now this girl is very spoilt. She has everything a girl could possibly ask for. She went to a £10k/pa international school in Pakistan and since she's the only daughter in a family with 4 sons they are very protective of her, etc.

    Ok so this girl. When we landed they all came to pick us up from the airport. It was an emotional reunion between my mum and my auntie and there was a lot of greeting/hugging etc and my siser and my cousin, being the only girls there, were talking and from the corner of my eye I could see tha see that the girl was staring at me. She was staring at me the entire time, 20 or so mminutes, that we were there and then for 3 days afterwards but I naturally assumed that this was because she hadn't seen me for so long. After about a week the awkwardness went away and I spoke to her and she seemed very friendly and was the only person there I could actually be around who was in any way similar to me. So for the next 3 weeks she showed me her town, with a bodyguard and the driver with us, and basically I was around her for about 10 hours each day but always thought of her as my cousin. When we were leaving she hugged me and started crying but I again assumed it's because she probably wouldn't see me for a long time and had no attraction topwards her whatsoever and didn't think she did either.

    Last month my mum got a call from my auntie and after a long phonecall my mum told me that my cousin really likes me and wants to marry me. Apparantly she hasn't been herself since I left and has been crying in her room quite often. My mum forced me to call her and I spoke to her and I could notice she was happy to speak to me but she's always been happy so I didn't notice anything different.

    This girl is very nice, caring and attractive to an extent that I'm sure any guy on TSR would be happy to date her. She's been very shielded so I think she's attracted to the idea of a relationship rather than me.

    Anyway, my mum has since been trying to get me to agree to the marriage. She says that I don't have to marry her until I finish my degree but that we have to get engaged this year. I've explained the reasons why it's so wrong but she always manages to mind**** me into a guilt trap somehow. She always gets emotional everytime I try to tell her the reasons, scientific reasons of what would be wrong with out children, I've even shown her studies and examples but she just refuses to listen to me. I love my mum more than anything in the world, she's done a lot for me but I'm running out of time and I really don't know what to do.
    hey. (this is coming from a british asian 16 yo girl btw)
    I'd say, give your cousin a call, ask her why she wants to marry you, tell her why it's wrong, maybe even mention that you're not interested or that you have a girlfriend...all the while, make it sound like you're annoyed with her for wanting to marry you. this will make her come off you right away, i mean, what girl wants to marry someone who's not interested in her, right? She'll call it off, then the weddings off!

    PS. forced marriage is haram
    PS AGAIN, hope everything works out for you! good luck x:h:
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    (Original post by anonymous)
    come on... You kinda knew this thread was from an asian, didn't you?

    Long read ahead sorry so apologies in advance.

    So, i'm a british asian. Pakistani to be exact. I've lived in britain all my life but was born in pakistan. Both my parents have large families in pakistan (6 or 7 siblings each) and before you ask, no my parents aren't cousins, thankfully. This marrying one's cousin thing is quite popular in pakistan since they want to "keep things in the family" and it's apparantly promoted by quran as well, although i'm only a moderate muslim so can't tell if it is or not myself. My aunties and uncles, on my mum's side as far as i know, have married some of their children to each other. Now these children aren't some uneducated layabouts in a tiny village in pakistan. These people are either aborad and have a university education or have taken over their family business and taken it to new heights. So i'm assuming that they knew the risks and dangers of having children with their cousin...

    Now, i'm 19 and went to pakistan for the first time in 10 years last year. We stayed at my auntie's house (more of a mansion tbh...) where they had about 5 staff working for them and a driver and 2 bodyguards/watchmen. I felt very uncomfortable about that but that's another topic for another time. So we were there for about a month and the only person my age in that house was their daughter, my cousin, who turned 18 recently i think. I hadn't seen this girl for 10/12 years and couldn't remember how she looked like. Now this girl is very spoilt. She has everything a girl could possibly ask for. She went to a £10k/pa international school in pakistan and since she's the only daughter in a family with 4 sons they are very protective of her, etc.

    Ok so this girl. When we landed they all came to pick us up from the airport. It was an emotional reunion between my mum and my auntie and there was a lot of greeting/hugging etc and my siser and my cousin, being the only girls there, were talking and from the corner of my eye i could see tha see that the girl was staring at me. She was staring at me the entire time, 20 or so mminutes, that we were there and then for 3 days afterwards but i naturally assumed that this was because she hadn't seen me for so long. After about a week the awkwardness went away and i spoke to her and she seemed very friendly and was the only person there i could actually be around who was in any way similar to me. So for the next 3 weeks she showed me her town, with a bodyguard and the driver with us, and basically i was around her for about 10 hours each day but always thought of her as my cousin. When we were leaving she hugged me and started crying but i again assumed it's because she probably wouldn't see me for a long time and had no attraction topwards her whatsoever and didn't think she did either.

    Last month my mum got a call from my auntie and after a long phonecall my mum told me that my cousin really likes me and wants to marry me. Apparantly she hasn't been herself since i left and has been crying in her room quite often. My mum forced me to call her and i spoke to her and i could notice she was happy to speak to me but she's always been happy so i didn't notice anything different.

    This girl is very nice, caring and attractive to an extent that i'm sure any guy on tsr would be happy to date her. She's been very shielded so i think she's attracted to the idea of a relationship rather than me.

    Anyway, my mum has since been trying to get me to agree to the marriage. She says that i don't have to marry her until i finish my degree but that we have to get engaged this year. I've explained the reasons why it's so wrong but she always manages to mind**** me into a guilt trap somehow. She always gets emotional everytime i try to tell her the reasons, scientific reasons of what would be wrong with out children, i've even shown her studies and examples but she just refuses to listen to me. I love my mum more than anything in the world, she's done a lot for me but i'm running out of time and i really don't know what to do.

    I wrote all this on an iphone lol so don't give me that tl;dr crap please. Took me agesss to type all that so really need some solid advice.
    run as fast as you can. Run!!!!
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    take my boy Jays advice Find them, frenchy em, get em frothy, finger em, frig em, film em, flange em, flick em, fanny fart em, **** em, frottum, fist em, felch em, finish with them and finally forget about them.
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    (Original post by Worldwide Ummah)
    ****in do it bruv. Fresh girls man she'll be tight af ra. Manz gotta break the seal init.
    thats f****** disgusting mate.
    why tf are you called 'Worldwde Ummah' and you're talking a man into a marriage with his freaking cousin for sex???? THATS GROSS
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    lmaooo considering this was 2011 i think somethings changed
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    I'd say stick with your parents decision. you don't want to have a conflict with a family, right?
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    Bro, you're a guy ffs. Chill tf out and tell your mum that it may lead to an unhealthy marriage and that the only person who you'd blame for it would be your mum. If you marry her and this, lets say, doesn't turn out well, then you'll start hating your own family. You'll start hating your cousin and maybe your own life. We're only here for a couple of years, you probably have like 50-70 years left to live. Your life goal should be to be happy and to make close people happy (and maybe bring a positive change In the world if you can). Make your mum understand all of this stuff.
 
 
 
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