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Advice for a depressed singleton watch

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    #1

    Hi,

    I just want to vent about something I’m feeling quite down about/ask for advice. If you think I’m being pathetic, I already think that so any negative comments I could really do without.
    I’m just quite sad at the moment due to a lot of factors (family issues, lack of money, working really hard at uni), but the main one is feeling sad about two of my friends who’ve recently gotten boyfriends, and feeling a tad deserted. We’ve always all been ‘single gals’(vom) together, bemoaning the fact that none of us despite being attractive, funny and nice (not in an arrogant way, but we’re not hideous humourless *****es or anything!). It was always sort of fine though, because we had each other to lean on/laugh about it with.

    Except in the past couple of months, they’ve both got (really lovely and great) bfs, and are all loved up and giggly in the way newish couples are. And I’m still here, single as hell, and just feel a bit depressed and want to cry a lot! I am genuinely happy for them, and I don’t feel jealous – just sort of wish they were single with me still! Which I know is really pathetic, but I just feel a bit lonely, and also feel ever so slightly like they’re doing that patronising thing that eternally single people do when they get a boyf.
    Its just little stuff – we’re all working quite hard for uni exams atm, and whereas before when we were working and took work breaks we’d all hang out together, now they just hang out with their bfs in their rooms and I’m just sort of on my own. I do have lots of friends, but these are my closest ones (and flatmates!). and a tiny tiny bit of me just wishes that they weren’t with their bfs, which is horrible I know – I would never want them to actually break up though.

    SO yeah, just a vent/ asking for advice situation.
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    Is there any way of sending you a private message when you're anonymous? I myself am single and where I work, I always see people and when a couple get loved up, it just stirs it up. People sometimes ask if I have a girlfriend and it's pretty much impossible as strangers don't really talk to each other. Where abouts are you from?
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    When I'm down I go to my nearest lower middle class semi posh, heavily early 30s to middle aged filled pub that holds some kind of do like DJs or bands on the weekends. Go for a few drinks and you are bound to get some middle aged women chatting you up and touching your arse come the end of the night, its a real boost if temporary.
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    (Original post by thruppence)
    Is there any way of sending you a private message when you're anonymous? I myself am single and where I work, I always see people and when a couple get loved up, it just stirs it up. People sometimes ask if I have a girlfriend and it's pretty much impossible as strangers don't really talk to each other. Where abouts are you from?
    Ooo, someone wants a bit...
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    I'm in a similar position to you. I've drifted away from a couple of girls who I used to call my best friends, and they're both really loved up in long-term relationships, whereas I'm a very long-term singleton. I'm also the least experienced in my group at college, and it does make me feel a little uneasy sometimes. Not just that but I'm also having lots of other disappointments in my life, so I know exactly where you're coming from. But you've just got to remember that simply, everybody's different. You may not be as lucky now, but I'm sure your time will come one day. Just try to concentrate on things that make you happy at the moment, and I'm sure you'll pull through
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    (Original post by Veldrin)
    When I'm down I go to my nearest lower middle class semi posh, heavily early 30s to middle aged filled pub that holds some kind of do like DJs or bands on the weekends. Go for a few drinks and you are bound to get some middle aged women chatting you up and touching your arse come the end of the night, its a real boost if temporary.
    Haha same.
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    Don't worry about it!!
    I used to feel the same, went through the same (best friends got bfs so left me out etc) then came to my senses and realised - heck, my Life is my own, why on earth should I worry about whether a guy can or cannot be bothered sharing it with me. After all, at the end of the day, if a guy doesn't want to be with me then why should I give a toss about him!!
    Ever since I decided not to care that I'm free and single, and decided to actually live my Life and enjoy myself - I'm forever getting hit on!!
    Basically don't worry about it - what will be will be and at the end of the day, Mr Right will turn up when you least expect it, that's the way the world works
    Try to cheer up!! All the Best!!
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    Don't worry about it, your time will come!

    It's pretty easy to let yourself feel alone especially because your two best friends both have someone, but honestly, you shouldn't let it bother you. You're experiencing what could be the best time of your life while you're in uni!
    Don't think about it! Dress yourself up and go out and enjoy being single and having fun!
    • #2
    #2

    (Anon cos I'm paranoid haha!) I am in a similar situation, I was always the one with the boyfriend all through uni and my two best friends were always single. I never went on about my relationship and always made sure I spent time with my friends, would go out clubbing with them even when it meant I got abandoned while they got off with boys etc :/ However, since christmas the situation has reversed. I am now single while they are both in new relationships, all they do is talk about how 'amazing' so and so is, and how I'll find someone so amazing soon. It bugs me because it just feels like they're rubbing it in now that things are the other way round, when I never did it to them.

    In my experience things do calm down after the first 6 months, soon your friends will snap out of it and realise there is more to life than their boyfriend. And if they don't....well they're a bit pathetic and weak.
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    (Original post by Keith Lemon)
    Ooo, someone wants a bit...
    Yeah, but it's not something I see likely to happen. Girls don't like to get to know guys unless it's through someone else. It's stupid really because you shouldn't have to rely on other people.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yeah, skome great responses.

    I just want to clarify, the problem isn't actually that I'm short of attention or anything like that. I get enough attention from people, and get asked on dates from time to time. Its just more the fact that I don't have(and have never had) a boyfriend makes me feel sad that no-one has ever been like 'YES, I like you and want to be with you and care about what you think and think you're worth not getting with other people for'... I tend to kiss the odd guy from time to time, but nothing really goes any further - whcih in most situations I'm more than happy with.

    And also I do feel a little bit like a third/fifth wheel from time to time now, which is the worst bit as its SO foreign, them having not had bfs before now. Its not an overt feeling, but I sometimes feel like they'd prefer to be alone (which is understandable) and have to make an excuse and feel slightly pathetic that I just then go to my room and watch a movie! And its not helped by the fact that one of the boyfs, who we were all friends with before, ever so slightly makes me feel like he slightly pities me, and feels sorry for me not being able to get a bf. I know he's being sympathetic, but its bloody patronising, and makes me feel like such a loser!
 
 
 
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