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Am I being selfish? watch

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    My best friend has never had a boyfriend before, not that she didn't have people interested in her, she did but was too shy/under confident to get with them. I had a boyfriend which she didnt seem happy about the whole time we were together. Long story short when I came to uni I was single and so was she, she got with a guy in the first month of being at uni and I was soo happy for her and still am. But since shes been with him shes a different person, not the friend I use to have. I know people change...I went through some **** before uni and coming to uni didnt do much good to my self confidence but yeah mostly ****ty times.
    Anyway before uni she was like yeah we'll see each other all the time, you can come up to see me and Ill come and see you and so so. Since september I've invited her up soo many times yet she hasnt asked me to come and see her once and it kinda bothered me and her excuse is that ooh its because your always busy. Ive told her im not always busy, yeah fair enough I have a part time job but doesnt mean I cant come to see you, and she's always like I dont want to make it inconvient for you, and I've told her its not. I gave up hinting for her to ask me to come to see her at uni and basically told her I was coming to see her two weeks before her birthday so I could give her her bday present because I wouldn't see her as she was going home for her bday to spend it with her parents.
    Even when I went to see her it seemed weird, I was fine with her etc.The weekend of her birthday I asked her when she was going home time and how, and she told me her boyfriend was driving her home and that surprised me, I suppose Im being a bit selfish but she couldnt even consider asking her best friend if she would like to come? not that I would have said yeah, because I know her parents would want time with her. Its just the fact she spends all her time with her bf and whenever I ask her when we ring each other what's new, been going on etc she has ABSOLUTELY nothing to tell me, she says oh nothing really and I find it so hard to believe, its like we've been friends for so long and yet you have nothing to tell? And Im supposed to be the gossip machine because Im single. Also her idea of making an effort with me is texting me 50 times in a day asking the same thing ' are you ok?' ' what have you been up to?' same thing always and it drives me mad! I've been so mad at her since the week of her bday I haven't spoken to her, she's texted me three times and rang me once and I havent answered because I simply cant talk to her, had this conversation with her before and she says oh I promise I wont be like this again and she goes back to doing the same thing.
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    I think you are but you're not meaning to be. Most girls are like this with their boyfriend, especially when it's the first. Can you honestly say you didn't act the same way towards her when you had a guy? Or towards your other friends?
    At least she is trying to make an effort by texting you and asking if you're okay, which should be a sign that she's not trying to butt you out. It can be awkward because obviously she's with her boyfriend all the time, and they're making plans, then I'm not suprised that she forgot or didn't consider asking you too. It's really difficult trying to juggle a best friend and a boyfriend at the same time!
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    To long, poorly paragraphed and the question is hidden within the text. After five reads I say leave your friend she sounds like a clingy fool.
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    Don't ignore her because it's clear she doesn't want that. Also, she's gonna need a friend around when things get rocky with her boyfriend. It's hard cause yeah you're feeling hurt and you're probably going to have to find someone else to hang with for a while, but it's just what happens. Don't throw away the friendship!
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    (Original post by choly7)
    Don't ignore her because it's clear she doesn't want that. Also, she's gonna need a friend around when things get rocky with her boyfriend. It's hard cause yeah you're feeling hurt and you're probably going to have to find someone else to hang with for a while, but it's just what happens. Don't throw away the friendship!
    I know its the fact that she tells me nothing at all, so I dont know how I can be there for her when shes pushed me away all this time? I mean its fine I have another bestfriend too she has a boyfriend but she is not like that with me at all, she speak to me tells me how thing are going and asks how I am doing with out making me feel like ****. Whereas the one I'm talking about now makes me feel like crap an negs me out big time after a conversation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know its the fact that she tells me nothing at all, so I dont know how I can be there for her when shes pushed me away all this time? I mean its fine I have another bestfriend too she has a boyfriend but she is not like that with me at all, she speak to me tells me how thing are going and asks how I am doing with out making me feel like ****. Whereas the one I'm talking about now makes me feel like crap an negs me out big time after a conversation.

    Well then I guess you aren't being selfish if she makes you feel like that? You can't do much other than tell her exactly how you feel, but like you've said all she does is apologise and then do the exact same thing again, so just try and be civil and nice, and don't expect much from her in future. Keep the friendship open but don't get too involved?
 
 
 
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