broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. he was more into me than i was into him at the beginning. i vowed not to get too attached (was at uni etc...)
he was my first boyfriend. first experiences. he made me feel so good about myself. and me not getting attached made him want me more. i felt special. and protected. all my friends said i was out of his league. they didn't like him, but wouldn't get to know him when i suggested we all do something. whilst at uni i had many boys come on to me. and had chemistry with other guys. which was weird and new for me. but i never cheated. looked forward to seeing my boyfriend at weekends. all my friends had moved on, made new friends, different unis.
i got very attached to him then. i got easily annoyed. times he was late or stood me up, i got upset. but before, i didn't, cause i was distant. he barely contacted me, and i didn't want to contact him because i didn't want to seem clingy. when we were together things were still nice, and loving, but i kept reading into little things he said, picking fights with him. i had gotten very insecure. he used to want to see me every day, any time possible, but then he kept making excuses or prefer not to, when i would cancel plans to see him, as we barely could see each other. he was getting bored of me. and i couldn't help but wait around for him to contact me, while he would just text whenever he got the time, and out of habit more than anything. i was embarrassed, and stuck. at the same time, he would say stuff like he wanted to spend his life with me and that he loves me.
i was very unhappy and distant from my friends, and too dependent on him, so i broke up with him. and i also felt too young for all this.
he was devastated. so was i, and i would just cry all the time and feel lost. but also kind of 'free' from waiting around for texts, contact. but we kept in touch... few months on, and all i still think about is him. all i ever do is put scenarios in my head of us. he kept asking for me back, i said i want to be single. then one week he told me he had moved on. it was like another break up. we didn't talk for like a week. i couldnt bear it so still asked how he was. but i remained friendly. we then saw each other for the first time after that. now he's suddenly begging for me back. but i'm too young to be getting so attached and clingy and insecure, it was a horrible feeling, i'll just turn into a mess again. but i miss him so much. i keep thinking about him, and 'craving' him. but maybe my life is so mundane i daydream about him to make me feel happy-ish. what should i do about him?
...Should I go back to school?