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Do you have a partner who's unemployed? What are you willing to compromise??.. watch

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    So, what are the qualities you are looking for in a r'ship? For me, it has to be sense of humour, intelligence, compatibility in the bedroom department and selflessness. I think when we first meet someone they are like perfect, and sooner or later down the line, the negative traits start to appear. It is difficult to find someone to meet that checklist (not that i keep one, but we have a mental checklist of what we are looking for).

    I say this because my boyfriend is funny, intelligent, affectionate, great company, is smitten with me and we're very compatible in bed, but...........3 months down the line the bubble did burst. When I met him, I was smitten - and my judgement was clouded by this, as it happens for most people because when we meet someone we are smitten by, we don't think about the practicality of the r'ship. What do i mean by this? Well, my boyfriend wasn't working when i met him, but he had finances to get by from his parents. 3 months down the line and still no job, I find that im worse off financially because i ended up supporting him over 80% of the time. I work part-time and im a full time student doing a degree. In addition to that, he's crap with money - when he does get the odd amount from his parents (they do ask every time if he has found a job because they know they cant support him forever), he spends it stupidly, either on on-line poker or drinking (at home) instead of putting it towards things that are important. Like, his friend stayed for over a week last week, and he spent his JSA just buying lager and weed. Im pretty liberal, so the weed didn't bother me. He uses my mobile phone (because he hasnt taken the opp to spend a tenner on his phone to top up), because he knows i have free minutes so I ended up paying an extra £20 this month on my bill because my free mins ran out so i got charged for all his calls. I am therefore starting to resent him because im in the **** this month financially because i took out a £400 loan from Wonga to cover rent he couldn't pay - which I didn't mind to some degree because i Id do the same for anyone and i did it on the premise that hed pay me back once he got a full time job (he didnt want to have to resort to ask his mum because shes bailed him out sooo many times).He's planning a camping trip with his mates in June and i just think - you owe me over £400 and your having a great social life whilst im not....

    Its hard - as a boyfriend, hes very attentive, great fun (when not playing poker), and yeh, hes great in the sack. I am smitten by him, but my resentment is starting to affect the way i feel about him which is horrible. Plus, we live together in a houseshare - thats how we met.

    So, when you meet someone who meets most of your mental checklist, and then a few negative traits begin to set in.....are you willing to compromise?
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    My partner is umemployed and has been that way for over 2 years. We have been together for 5 years and he did work when we met but after we got our own place he didn't seem to care as much about working. He's had a few temporary jobs but his last one was over 2 years ago and now he just sits around our flat playing his PC/Xbox and saying he looks for work. I work full-time and my wages go on rent, bills and food. I didn't used to mind this but he's not the guy I met and fell in love with. If he was as funny, attentive, kind and thoughful like when we met I wouldn't mind so much but it's getting to the point where I've made up my mind to leave him.

    If I was to get another boyfriend they would definately have to be working.
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    My partner is umemployed and has been that way for over 2 years. We have been together for 5 years and he did work when we met but after we got our own place he didn't seem to care as much about working. He's had a few temporary jobs but his last one was over 2 years ago and now he just sits around our flat playing his PC/Xbox and saying he looks for work. I work full-time and my wages go on rent, bills and food. I didn't used to mind this but he's not the guy I met and fell in love with. If he was as funny, attentive, kind and thoughful like when we met I wouldn't mind so much but it's getting to the point where I've made up my mind to leave him.

    If I was to get another boyfriend they would definately have to be working.
    Why are you still with him (up to now)?
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    I recently broke up with my GF of over a year and the main reason was her unemployment. I go to Oxford university and work. She is a local girl who did Nursing at college - which she finished back last summer. I spent a lot of money on her, and ended up having to beg for overtime to be able to support myself and her. To cut a long story short, resentment grew and I started struggling with studying and putting that many hours in work.
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    (Original post by meenu89)
    Why are you still with him (up to now)?
    As pathetic as it sounds I'm not sure anyone else would want me.
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    As pathetic as it sounds I'm not sure anyone else would want me.
    I would rather be alone than be with someone like that personally.
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    As pathetic as it sounds I'm not sure anyone else would want me.
    You should leave them now to preserve what little integrity you may have.
    • #2
    #2

    My partner is unemployed because he sold his business and now invests in new businesses.
 
 
 
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