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    Anon or delete, please.

    I'm so sorry if this comes across as being attention-seekery. I don't mean it to. I have nobody in my life that I can talk to...

    My life's a mess. I've been dealing with so much stress for so long and I don't think I can cope any more. I'm on my final year of A Levels and I'm losing track and beginning to fall behind... At home everything's going wrong. My parents are in the process of divorcing, my dad has a gambling addiction, my sister's got bipolar. At school I have no friends - at my school, people don't take kindly to those who achieve academically - they've made my life total hell for the last 2 years, to the extent that I don't want to be there, or anywhere, anymore. All I ever did was knuckle down in my lessons. I never ever antagonised anyone.

    University was my ultimate goal, my saving grace, but now, I wonder if it's really worth the trouble? I've ran out of energy and I feel like I just can't deal with life anymore.

    My doctor diagnised me with depression last year; I refused to take medication as I didn't like the idea of dependency upon them, so instead I was referred to a counsellor and a therapist who tried all sorts of things, none of which seemed to work (I convinced them that it did so that I could be discharged, I knew it was going nowhere).

    I've lost all hope completely. I hate to sound melodramatic, I genuinely think that my suicide will make everyone happier. People at school will certainly be happy to see the back of me. My family probably wouldn't even notice, being so caught up in their own issues. If I'm not being jeered at, it's almost like I'm invisible and non-existent anyway.

    I don't really know what the point in this thread was. I think I just wanted a means of telling anyone, even if a stranger. For once I want to be acknowledged as a human being and not something smelly that someone's stepped in. I wish someone would understand how I'm feeling.

    I'm sorry if you feel as though I've wasted your time, if you read all of that. Please, don't troll or add nasty comments. I'm at breaking point already :'(
    • #2
    #2

    Don't worry, you'll be fine. I've been diagnosed with depression and the tablets he gave me were brilliant. Please, please go back and get your medication off of him.

    Ignore the people at school, just get your head down in work, its only 2 and a half months before you never have to see them again. Just concentrate on your studies like you have done so far, it's just a few more months, then relaxation.

    Quote this post if you'd like someone to talk to (I'll pm you back), I've been in a similar situation, keep your head up and don't think suicidal thoughts
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    Look at it this way - It can only get better for you but if you commit suicide you'll never kno how much better your life could've been.
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    Don't worry, you will die Just not yet. Why not throw yourself into an awesome creative project to express it?
    • #3
    #3

    i felt a lot like you do all my life.

    until i went to university.
    iv finally found my place and my purpose. i still **** up and things are still ****,
    but it chasnged my aspect on things.
    and everyone is your friend at uni, you just have to make the effort.

    hang on.
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    Ok, so life's pretty bad for you atm. What you've been going through is horriffic, but suicide won't make that any better and will in fact make it even worse for your family.
    Your goal is to get to uni, and from what I can gather, you're in need for some success.
    Work hard, try your best, and you'll see once you and your family have one success, things will Look a lot brighter as well.
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    Your suicide will never make other people happy - you are a human being, unique and precious; loved, whether you know it or not. Your time on this Earth is finite and fleeting. You will miss out on all the things waiting around the corner if you give up now.

    Uni is a daunting experience but not only is it fun, but all universities have comprehensive counselling services that can help you if you have problems. There's a usually great support network around you in the form of your coursemates and flatmates. You're so close now that you're in your final year - just keep going and you'll soon be able to strike out on your own at uni. There's so many experiences to be had, and a good degree will set you up for life.

    :hugs:
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    You've pushed yourself and tried to work so hard on your A levels so much. Just think in a few months it will be over. You would have acheived your grades, off to university, away from the kids who are just jealous that they aren't as smart, and away from family troubles. Although I do not advice running away from family troubles personally.

    OP from what you have said, a lot of things are not going the way you want, but you also have shown that there is something worth holding onto. And that is cracking down on your A levels. You still have time to study and achieve your desired grades.

    You think that no-one will notice you're gone. Those useless peers don't matter, and I feel that your family will be very distraught by you taking such a big decision, your sister suffers from bipolar - imagine how she will be affected. Believe it or not, your parents will be affected.

    Please please try and see the glimpse of hope in your situation that I can see.
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    You only have a couple of months left of A levels then you're freeee! Don't give up now, you have your uni offer, you just need to cross the finishing line.I bet you'll feel a million times better once you've left sixth form and you've left the arsewipes behind.

    Does any of your family know how you feel? It might be a good idea to let them know how the stress at home is making you feel. I was diagnosed with depression a few years back and the days when I feel awful are when I don't have anyone to talk to.
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    Seriously, dying is not going to make anything better!
    It will actually hurt your family even more, this will then increase more stress.
    I think you should just breath for a little while and try to get things back on track, the way you find most suitable. I'm in sixth form studying Law, Pschology, Sociology and Business Studies. I can feel the pressure rising, however the best option is to manage it in a way you find comfortable. I like to organise all my work into separate files and folders.
    You don't have long left until it's all over.
    Don't give up at the last hurdle.x
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    Think of it this way when you're at your lowest there is only one way to go from there and that's up.
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    Stick through it =) I know everything looks bleak at the moment, but seriously, aim for University. The last couple of years at school can really suck, we've been there, and it's only now that I'm at Uni with pretty much no one I used to know do I feel I've come out of my shell and started to be the person I'm happy with being. Persevere, you really have your entire life ahead of you, don't give in to your depression, things WILL get better. Try find a hobby or something you're really passionate about - music, art, anything that will give you goals to achieve between now and Uni. In the mean time, if you don't like the people at school, try joining a club or gym or something, where you can meet new people. But you must make an effort too, don't expect people to come up and introduce themselves if you wouldn't do it yourself!

    As Einstein said, life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete, please.

    I'm so sorry if this comes across as being attention-seekery. I don't mean it to. I have nobody in my life that I can talk to...

    My life's a mess. I've been dealing with so much stress for so long and I don't think I can cope any more. I'm on my final year of A Levels and I'm losing track and beginning to fall behind... At home everything's going wrong. My parents are in the process of divorcing, my dad has a gambling addiction, my sister's got bipolar. At school I have no friends - at my school, people don't take kindly to those who achieve academically - they've made my life total hell for the last 2 years, to the extent that I don't want to be there, or anywhere, anymore. All I ever did was knuckle down in my lessons. I never ever antagonised anyone.
    Stress is part of everyday life, and its not just you who has to deal with it. Me, you, loads of students on TSR, families, from the young to old undergoes a period of their life where they just wish...."why me?" Its normal. You, however have to find a personal way of dealing with this and trust me there are from eating better, exercising, to prioritising and cutting down on what you do.
    So its you final year, you have about two months till you exam, make a timetable and try you very best to stick to it, it is the final push, after it you have a nice long break.
    You parents problems at the moment should only be theirs, concentrate right now on your exams. I know its hard keeping focus when there are other things going on but this is part of prioritising.
    Don't worry, 1/2 more months and you will be out of there (school)

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    University was my ultimate goal, my saving grace, but now, I wonder if it's really worth the trouble? I've ran out of energy and I feel like I just can't deal with life anymore.
    You haven't ran out of energy, you just think you have because you feel stressed, its normal. You need to learn how to deal with it, and suicide is not the answer.

    (Original post by Anonymous)

    My doctor diagnised me with depression last year; I refused to take medication as I didn't like the idea of dependency upon them, so instead I was referred to a counsellor and a therapist who tried all sorts of things, none of which seemed to work (I convinced them that it did so that I could be discharged, I knew it was going nowhere).
    Hm, depression is not something you choose to have, if you do have it then it might be best to take some medication.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've lost all hope completely. I hate to sound melodramatic, I genuinely think that my suicide will make everyone happier. People at school will certainly be happy to see the back of me. My family probably wouldn't even notice, being so caught up in their own issues. If I'm not being jeered at, it's almost like I'm invisible and non-existent anyway.

    I don't really know what the point in this thread was. I think I just wanted a means of telling anyone, even if a stranger. For once I want to be acknowledged as a human being and not something smelly that someone's stepped in. I wish someone would understand how I'm feeling.

    I'm sorry if you feel as though I've wasted your time, if you read all of that. Please, don't troll or add nasty comments. I'm at breaking point already :'(
    Suicide will not make things better, in fact it will make things worst- it might completely divide your family because they will notice and care.
    Don't worry, its hard, but life is meant to be hard if you want the best out of it :hugs: Best of luck, just take a deep breath and smile and believe in yourself, If you want to talk more PM me if you want or quote me here, don't worry I know how you feel sometimes but trust me smiling more often works
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    Well, don't. Death is the end of your life, but not the end of your problems. I have been there, I am still there every now and then, but with the right support you'll make it through. Yes, you everything would be fine if you die because you wouldn't know anything anymore, but think about your family and friends? You would be surprised how much of an impact you woudl cause if you chose to end your life, it might not seen like this for you right now, but trust me, your family woulf be scared forever.

    I have been in threapy for nearly 2 years and still without an end in sight... but I have learnt so much about myself and my issues. You are sounding like how I was 2 years ago, but I can tell you right now that you will be fine, it's not easy, in fact, it bloody hard but you will make it, you will get better. Often mental health problems are life long conditions you can never leave behind, but I have gone from asking why me everyday to now I in a weird kind of way appreciate it; because it makes me think twice when doing things, it makes me appreciate the better days I have hence I make the most of those days.

    If you wanna talk more, I will be checking in again tonight, if you wanna PM me then please do so. I don't know if I can help but I will try my best. If you don't wanna talk now it's also fine, go have a hot bath and go straight to bed, have a good night sleep and you'd notice these negative thoughts are just passing thoughts.

    Take care.
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    You don't want to die - nobody does, really
    Besides, it's sooo cowardly. And selfish. And stupid.
    You may see it as a get out for you, but what about all those who care about you - and those who have to deal with such horrendous circumstances surrounding you doing something so horrible to yourself.
    I've had mild depression - sorted it out myself
    Looked at myself in the mirror, looked at my Life, looked at those who Loved me and forgot about those who didnt care - and I soon came to be grateful for my Life!!
    Life is a gift - if your Family seem not to want to support you and you see a dead end etc, why continue going on the same path?? Change direction!!
    Get a hobby, make something of yourself - if you think your Life isnt worth living for yourself, then why not throw yourself into living your Life for others?? Help a local Charity, do something good for your community - do something, do anything but don't be so selfish as to waste the gift you have been given
    If you need someone to talk to please feel free to PM me - though I must warn ya, many ppl are PMing me and I cant seem to delete msgs fast enough to empty my inbox haha!!
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I genuinely think that my suicide will make everyone happier.
    Do you really think your relatives will be happy when they attend your funeral?

    Granted, your life is ****. Instead of pondering about suicide you should be pondering about what steps you need to take in order to make it less ****ty.

    Suicide is never a solution.
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    Death sounds pretty ****ty to me in all honesty, wouldn't cheer me up at all.
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    OP, please don't follow through how you're feeling. Death is so final and while I appreciate how low you're feeling I promise most of the problems can be overcome. The people at your school are nothing more than bullies, and soon they'll be out of your life forever. Try not to let them get to you, people who bully are actually the most insecure and pathetic.

    Your parents divorcing is a horrible situation but you will be out of the oppresive environment when you move out to go to uni. I know it doesn't take the problem away, but it gives you breathing space and some time to escape.

    In terms of the tablets, I'm currently on some to manage my anxiety and would recommend them to help you get through this difficult time. It's not for ever and if it helps you get through a difficult time I'd recommend you go for it.

    I hope that helps, feel free to PM me if you need to talk more x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete, please.

    I'm so sorry if this comes across as being attention-seekery. I don't mean it to. I have nobody in my life that I can talk to...

    My life's a mess. I've been dealing with so much stress for so long and I don't think I can cope any more. I'm on my final year of A Levels and I'm losing track and beginning to fall behind... At home everything's going wrong. My parents are in the process of divorcing, my dad has a gambling addiction, my sister's got bipolar. At school I have no friends - at my school, people don't take kindly to those who achieve academically - they've made my life total hell for the last 2 years, to the extent that I don't want to be there, or anywhere, anymore. All I ever did was knuckle down in my lessons. I never ever antagonised anyone.

    University was my ultimate goal, my saving grace, but now, I wonder if it's really worth the trouble? I've ran out of energy and I feel like I just can't deal with life anymore.

    My doctor diagnised me with depression last year; I refused to take medication as I didn't like the idea of dependency upon them, so instead I was referred to a counsellor and a therapist who tried all sorts of things, none of which seemed to work (I convinced them that it did so that I could be discharged, I knew it was going nowhere).

    I've lost all hope completely. I hate to sound melodramatic, I genuinely think that my suicide will make everyone happier. People at school will certainly be happy to see the back of me. My family probably wouldn't even notice, being so caught up in their own issues. If I'm not being jeered at, it's almost like I'm invisible and non-existent anyway.

    I don't really know what the point in this thread was. I think I just wanted a means of telling anyone, even if a stranger. For once I want to be acknowledged as a human being and not something smelly that someone's stepped in. I wish someone would understand how I'm feeling.

    I'm sorry if you feel as though I've wasted your time, if you read all of that. Please, don't troll or add nasty comments. I'm at breaking point already :'(
    Hi OP.

    Your post doesn't come across as attention seeking at all. I'm sorry you feel like you have no one to turn to to talk to about how you're feeling.

    It sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment - the final year of A levels can be pretty full on and things at home can't be helping. It sounds like things are really difficult for you right now and you're feeling pretty desperate. You mention that you've run out of energy and feel like you can't deal with life any more, I can't imagine how hard it must be to cope with everything and can see how you might feel tired of it all and like you can't go on.

    I'm glad that you have sought treatment for your depression, but sorry to hear that it didn't help. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right therapist and the right method of treatment and it can be incredibly frustrating and difficult to be patient and stick it out.

    You say in your post that you're not sure what the point of this thread was, but that you think that telling someone, even if it is a stranger, might bring you some relief. Can I suggest that you call the Samaritans and talk to them? They are great; they are there to listen but not judge, and are completely impartial. You are completely anonymous and can talk things over in your own time.

    Their details can be found here: http://www.samaritans.org/ If you don't feel able to speak to them on the phone, you can email them or text them and they will usually respond within a few hours.

    I'm going to close this thread now, not because we don't care or we don't want to listen to you, but because we are not in the best position to help you and sometimes people post dangerous advice or make insensitive comments. The people best equipped to help you in terms of listening to you and helping you feel supported and able to cope with the stress you're under are the Samaritans. Please give them a call. Alternatively, the Samaritans can call you with your permission if you feel unable to call them. If you would like me to ask them to call you, please PM me
 
 
 
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