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    Two months ago, I broke up with someone after a 3 month relationship. He said that he still liked me too much and definitely could not be friends for a while because he needs to get over me. That I understood, and I have respected it 100% since he told me.

    But literally one week after our break up, my housemate/good friend of 3 years (who has known my now ex for about 4 months) is hanging out with him 2/3 times a week. They have this whole BFF thing going and they literally masturbate on each other's facebook walls and it's absolutely doing my head in. I'm still not totally over my ex boyfriend and I cannot stand to be around my mate. It's not as bad as last month but sometimes I downright resent him for being best friends with my ex. I know it's stupid to have a say in who he should be friends with but...

    Has anyone else experienced this? Am I being too paranoid or am I in my right to feel totally uncomfortable with their newfound 'best' friendship?
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    Were they mates before? If so, it sounds stupid but it could just be that your ex is lonely, or something. It'd probably bother the hell out of me too, but I'd try and ignore it. The fact your ex said he liked you too much and couldn't be friends perhaps indicates that the end of the relationship was quite tough for him. It makes sense for him to seek out company. Does he have many friends of his own?
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    (Original post by Duckasaurus)
    Were they mates before? If so, it sounds stupid but it could just be that your ex is lonely, or something. It'd probably bother the hell out of me too, but I'd try and ignore it. The fact your ex said he liked you too much and couldn't be friends perhaps indicates that the end of the relationship was quite tough for him. It makes sense for him to seek out company. Does he have many friends of his own?
    Hey, thanks for the response

    My ex is two years older than me and graduated from the same university as me, but is back now working in the city and most of his friends have moved away since. His best friend is also currently in Australia for a while, so I suspect that he's been seeing my mate a lot because it's one of the few reliable friends he has. They became friends while we were going out, as all three of us used to hang out a lot.

    Of course I don't want my ex to be lonely etc, I miss him and I care for him and I want to see him happy. But I'm definitely sure I'm not dealing with it properly or handling it well. I feel uncomfortable when I'm around my friend because I'm always wondering if he's off to see my ex for a drink, or I think 'he likes my ex more than he likes me'.

    I just want to speak to my ex again I don't miss our relationship but I miss him as a person. He fell for me too hard too fast (we went out for 3 months, it's been 2 months since the breakup) and now I'm apparently never going to see him again. And in the process, I seem to have lost both him and my housemate as friends, and it sucks ass.

    What should I do to calm down, or channel my anger and jealousy? I want to stop feeling so strange and resentful towards my friend. I want to sit him down and tell him my feelings but I don't know if it's worth risking that sort of confrontation?
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    eat doughnuts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, thanks for the response

    My ex is two years older than me and graduated from the same university as me, but is back now working in the city and most of his friends have moved away since. His best friend is also currently in Australia for a while, so I suspect that he's been seeing my mate a lot because it's one of the few reliable friends he has. They became friends while we were going out, as all three of us used to hang out a lot.

    Of course I don't want my ex to be lonely etc, I miss him and I care for him and I want to see him happy. But I'm definitely sure I'm not dealing with it properly or handling it well. I feel uncomfortable when I'm around my friend because I'm always wondering if he's off to see my ex for a drink, or I think 'he likes my ex more than he likes me'.

    I just want to speak to my ex again I don't miss our relationship but I miss him as a person. He fell for me too hard too fast (we went out for 3 months, it's been 2 months since the breakup) and now I'm apparently never going to see him again. And in the process, I seem to have lost both him and my housemate as friends, and it sucks ass.

    What should I do to calm down, or channel my anger and jealousy? I want to stop feeling so strange and resentful towards my friend. I want to sit him down and tell him my feelings but I don't know if it's worth risking that sort of confrontation?

    Man up. You broke up. At that point your kind of saying I don't like you as a person.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, thanks for the response

    My ex is two years older than me and graduated from the same university as me, but is back now working in the city and most of his friends have moved away since. His best friend is also currently in Australia for a while, so I suspect that he's been seeing my mate a lot because it's one of the few reliable friends he has. They became friends while we were going out, as all three of us used to hang out a lot.

    Of course I don't want my ex to be lonely etc, I miss him and I care for him and I want to see him happy. But I'm definitely sure I'm not dealing with it properly or handling it well. I feel uncomfortable when I'm around my friend because I'm always wondering if he's off to see my ex for a drink, or I think 'he likes my ex more than he likes me'.

    I just want to speak to my ex again I don't miss our relationship but I miss him as a person. He fell for me too hard too fast (we went out for 3 months, it's been 2 months since the breakup) and now I'm apparently never going to see him again. And in the process, I seem to have lost both him and my housemate as friends, and it sucks ass.

    What should I do to calm down, or channel my anger and jealousy? I want to stop feeling so strange and resentful towards my friend. I want to sit him down and tell him my feelings but I don't know if it's worth risking that sort of confrontation?
    Ah, I see. I don't know if sitting down with your friend is a good idea tbh. It's quite hard to dispense advice, not knowing him, but I'll assume he's already kind of aware of your feelings, at least partially. If this is the case, sitting down with him, if he thinks your ex needs him to be there, and is the more needy party, risks coming across as jealous and a bit petty. unfortunate, but still.

    It's a cliche, but I think the only thing that'll help your friendship with your ex is time. 2 months may seem like ages, but sometimes, IMO it can take people ages to get over stuff (I generally just sleep on it, and I'm fine- guess they're just slow lol! )

    In the meantime, I'd try and get away from it for a bit, I don't know if there's much of a way to get rid of your jealousy and anger (which is completely understandable, but may not be that good to act on) try and hang out with some other friends, get out the house a bit? Try and distance yourself from the situation? If in a while things seem better, you could make an overture to them for you all to be mates- ask if they want a BBQ or something at the house, that doesn't seem too contrived or desperate. But if you don't get a positive response back from your ex, I'd then wait for him to come round. It's frigging annoying, but sometimes it can take ages to be mates after a split. It's best holding out and not rocking the boat, no matter how tempting it may seem though. Meh, life's a bit crappy like that.
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    You broke up with him, you no longer own him. He can go with whoever he likes.
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    Sorry but you're just gonna have to get over it. That's it really.

    Also, I misread your "masturbate on each others facebook wall" line....
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    (Original post by ToastyCoke)
    You broke up with him, you no longer own him. He can go with whoever he likes.
    yeh, I know. I just need some breathing space.

    (Original post by Duckasaurus)
    Ah, I see. I don't know if sitting down with your friend is a good idea tbh. It's quite hard to dispense advice, not knowing him, but I'll assume he's already kind of aware of your feelings, at least partially
    Ye I don't want to seem clingy. I just want to clear the air a bit and tell him that lately I've been struggling to deal with my ex and that I would rather not hear anything about him at all. I also want to tell him that I seriously have nothing against their friendship; I just have confusing feelings at the moment and I could really use some support.
 
 
 
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