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Why do guys stop putting in effort when they have you? watch

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    Yeah well, this relationship is very new, and he's slacking already? what a joke.
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    I hate when guys do this! Like be yourself and don't put up a front.
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    This is starting to be so funny to me. Im sitting here laughing at how stupid this is.
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    just dump his ass
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    The replies you've gotten here have been poor. So I'll add in my 2 cents...

    Basically, your boyfriend didn't stop putting in effort....he simply reverted back to his real self.

    See, most guys do all sorts of things to 'impress' girls when they first meet them. They put on fake charm and give the girl lots of flattery and attention. The girl then starts to like the guy, and they end up going out.

    But after a few weeks/months/years the guy then thinks 'I've got this girl now, so I can start getting lazy and not put any effort in'. So the guy reverts back to his true self, devoid of the charm etc that he faked in order to get the girl to like him.

    The girl then gets frustrated and often the relationship fails.

    Essentially, most guys MISREPRESENT themselves when they first meet a girl...they are on their best behaviour and put their best foot forward in order to attract the girl. But the guy's true personality is always revealed later on, after he thinks he's 'got' the girl and he gets lazy.

    It's sad that men all over the world have to put on a false front to get women. Better to be you true self rather than put on a front. If a guy is going to be charming etc to a girl, it should be REAL and part of who he naturally is, and not a fake front he puts on, only to drop as soon as he gets the girl.

    So your boyfriend wasn't really 'sweet and attentive' when he first met you....that was a persona he put on to make you THINK he was 'sweet and attentive'. Now that he thinks he's got you, he's dropped the false mask and reverted back to his real self and you've seen him for who he truly is.

    It's this very pattern of behaviour that causes most relationships to fail.

    Drop this guy and move on to someone else.
    But who is going to guarantee that the next guy won't behave the same or even worse, if most guys wear masks at the beginning of the relation as you said!! :jacko:

    Guys and girls should be honest to each other about who they really are, and "What you see is what you get" is the best way. But the thing is, girls would not consider dating a guy if he wasn't sweet to them. So guys try their best, the same way girls dress sexy and wear makeup to attract guys. You never see how a girl really looks like until you get into a relationship with her, i.e. how she looks when she wakes up in the morning; so it's a fair play in my opinion :juggle:.
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    tbh everyone acts a bit nicer when they're trying to get a girl and if i was completely comfortable with a guy i can joke about things like that, as long as it's not the nicest thing I'm doing. But yea I'm sick of women automatically assuming the relationship is our responsibility cos 'I'm the guy' cool but don't play the equal rights **** later

    i get that the 2nd part's off topic
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    True...BOTH sexes need to make an effort. A big area where a lot of girls let themselves go is weight. They get lazy and put on weight when in a steady relationship. But for every lazy, overweight girl there is an up and coming 18 yr old hottie waiting to take her place.

    So effort has to work BOTH ways. You can't get lazy in a relationship, or the relationship will fail.
    in regards to your first post, no one feels the need to be an hypocrite, you naturally act much nicer and all sorts it can't be helped. I purposely try not to be tooupice to a girl initially, but it can't be helped, less feeling their is the more effort it takes to keep it up
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Now I remember why I choose to stay single for so long, why am I not superised that this is happening to me...my gosh.. lol..

    So I agreed to his girlfriend, he liked me for soo long, he was treating me good and was VERY sweet and attentive, I felt like he deserved me, he was so sweet he made my heart warm. But as soon as I agreed to be his girl his mood changed-- all that sweet stuff stopped! He used to call me beautiful daily- now all he does is compliment my ass actually as a matter of fact since we've been a couple that's the only nice thing he has said about me. He used to tell me he missed me, use to hug me, now nothing. He tells me to go make him food- I dont find that amusing at all, I know he's playing but it's so jerky the way he says it. But he expects me to be sweet to him and when im not im RUDE- i am rude when when Im not getting treated the way I want and if he cant im telling him to get the f outta my face. We're not married I could leave whenever.

    What's the deal boyz?
    You won't leave.
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    why is the guy seen as the one in the wrong here? why is the girl not even part of the problem?

    to the OP: it sounds like you're pity dating him because you "felt he deserved you" and then basically expected this goddess treatment to last for a long time. Whether there's sex involved or not, which in this case it isn't, if a guy really liked you and you really liked him back, this wouldn't be a problem. More than likely, he senses that you're not actually into him ... that you basically want him to do all the work (he used to this that this that now he doesn't treat me the way I want blah blah blah).

    Have YOU been treating him the way he wants?

    You are giving me a goddess impression, but if this guy really is the jerk you're making him out to be ... why are you still with him when you obviously have a lot of complaints about the way he's handling the relationship?
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    Don't let him have so much sex.

    Sex only if he treats you right
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    You're dating the wrong kind of men. Keep looking.

    Not really much else to say, tbh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't let him have so much sex.

    Sex only if he treats you right
    he's still a virgin
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    Ahh not all guys are like that otayy so getback in you're box ****** -_-
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    (Original post by Walter Ego)
    I'd wager your theory of men deciding to stop putting in effort is wrong, and that we simply subconsciously revert back to our normal behaviour. In my experience women are just as guilty, except they offer lots of exciting and dirty sex to lure men in, then reduce it progressively over weeks/months/years. Before you know it, the mini-skirts, see-thru tops, push-up bras, kinky boots, sexy make-up and rampant passion are replaced by slobby jogging bottoms, unkempt hair and farting over breakfast, and the men start dreaming of dropping the girl and moving on to someone else.
    This! Well not exactly in that manner but the sentiment that men generally misrepresent in the 'wooing' stage and short term is true. I also feel that generally women misrepresent themselves in the longer term as they feel the 'security' of being in a relationship for a substantial amount of time (or just being an 'official' item) gives them a sort of 'right' to not repress the more negative aspects of their personality as they were doing previously.
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    Yeah, I did this to my girlfriend.
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    (Original post by spocckka)
    Yeah, I did this to my girlfriend.
    LOL well glad to know you acknowledge it.
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    This is exactly what I've experienced. I don't know why they do it, maybe they feel "safe" and don't feel bothered to make the effort anymore.
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    If you don't love him...leave.
    People and threads on the tsr these days :facepalm:
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    I don't think it's reasonable to generalise like that... anything that starts with 'why do guys/girls?' is useless because these aren't applicable to everybody... it's more like 'why have the guys i've been with....?'

    Sorry for nitpicking.
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    Get a new guy. Problem solved.
 
 
 
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