I'm finding it too hard dealing with my life at the moment. At 18 years old, it shouldn't be this difficult - you should be relaxing, having fun, enjoying time with your friends, not thinking too deeply about things. Every single day feels like a mountain to climb just living it.
I had severe anxiety for a year that meant panic attacks throughout the day and night that kept me stuck in the house, lose a tonne of weight and left me exhausted, terrified and fed up. After a course of CBT, they finally buggered off in December. Then a black cloud kept coming over my head, where I felt worthless and pathetic, I didn't want to bother with anything and everything seemed bleak and pointless. I hoped it would get better and tried to keep positive, but it's only got worse. I've gone from As and Bs in school to Es, my family are fed up of me and keep telling me I'm only thinking of myself and I'm making everyone "ill" worrying about me, and most days I'm either sobbing from stupid things or irrationally angry. Now, my anxiety is coming back and I'm waking up every night with terrifying panic attacks again.
There's other problems to do with family and friends and personal issues that have been/ still are around and are making everything worse, but this is already too long and you don't need to hear it. I'm not looking for sympathy, I just want to know if anyone else has gone through anything similar, and how you got through it? It feels like there's no end in sight and I'm sick of feeilng terrible. Even just a bit of advice or something... thanks a lot in advance. Sorry it's long.
tl;dr: I had horrible anxiety, got rid of it, now I have depression that's making me feel dreadful everyday and my anxiety is coming back, life's difficult, idk what to do.
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- Thread Starter
- 02-04-2011 22:21
- 02-04-2011 22:32
do you have a teacher at school you can talk to? back in school i was a bit like this, i had a mentor, regular meetings with my deputy year head who i could tell anything to, i was on "voluntary" report to help me do better in school, and to get me in to school, as i was also missing alot, as i couldnt even get up some mornings.
i really understand where your coming from where you struggle with normal day to day things.
i also had a connexions "counsilor"
and yes it was difficult, but im now at uni, and even to this day i have massive down days, and just want to quit uni and run back home.
but i know in my head if i do that i wont just let my self down, but ill let so many people down that have helped me get this far.
it can be difficult i know, and at this moment in time you might not want to keep plodding on, but you have to.
seriously try talk to a teacher, if you have one you get on with or trust, its a massive help, i used to go to mine about once a week, i used to have to see him every day from my report, but usually every week id off load to him, and it literally felt like a massive weight of my shoulders, i didnt even want him to do anything about it, or half the time i didnt even want advice, i just needed to offload.
and he understood this is what i needed, and even said i could go to him when i was in 6th form, and he got me through 6th form.
and at the start of uni i was emailing him, and if it wasnt for him i wouldnt have finished year 11, got into 6th form, stayed in 6th form, applied, got in, or stayed at uni...
give it ago,
hope this helped massivly, and good luck with everything.
- 02-04-2011 22:38
I don't think i've suffered from anything as bad as what you describe, but i think we've all gone through a depressive stage in our lives at some point. I got told to write down a list of all the positive things in my life, no matter how small, and keep adding to it and reminding yourself of it every day. It makes you appreciate that despite the bad stuff, you actually have more to be happy about than you realise.
- 02-04-2011 23:01
I would second what they said there, it helps to let your teachers/ lecturers know you're struggling, even if you don't want their help, if they know there are problems it makes it easier to broach the subject.
I've had very similar problems and gotten myself into damaging spirals but the thing to realise is that a huge number of people suffer with all of the changes through high school and uni. To help with the worrying, try and write down the things you need to do or need to change and have it pinned somewhere you'll see it. Simple things like that just to make a bit more room for thought.
I'm just about to finish my fourth year of uni and know what at least one or two of the pressures you are facing are, at 18 you get all of this responsibility put on you and i know that i for one wasn't ready for it all.
It is difficult but you'll do it.