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Sex before marriage is always wrong. Watch

  • View Poll Results: Sex before Marriage is always wrong. Do you agree or disagree?
    Agree
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    17.69%
    Disagree
    414
    82.31%

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    (Original post by kerily)
    If everyone involved or affected gives informed consent and understands the consequences, nothing sexual is wrong.
    Makes it sound like an orgy! :ahee:
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    (Original post by Calumcalum)
    Well, for example, a lot of it propagates or is part of the sex trade/sex trafficking, a lot is rape, a lot is used to manipulate, harm or degrade women (or keep them in a place of inferiority), and so on. I have other reasons, but they are unlikely to be particularly persuasive in a secular context.

    P.S. But thanks for asking rather than negging!
    I saw your first post and I was expecting your response to be something logical or enlightening but it's just pedantic. It's kind of obvious that this doesn't include rape, sex trade/sex trafficking etc.

    (Original post by Calumcalum)
    Apart from all those religious people who don't believe in Adam and Eve...
    Although this might make the thread more of a religious thread but could you expand on what you mean by this, particular the latter part of the statement.
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    (Original post by Tetanus)
    Makes it sound like an orgy! :ahee:
    :hubba:
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    (Original post by sleekchic)
    I saw your first post and I was expecting your response to be something logical or enlightening but it's just pedantic. It's kind of obvious that this doesn't include rape, sex trade/sex trafficking etc.
    Well, I don't think it's obvious at all. Not only does it not actually exclude those (which are much more commonplace than most people realise, and actually make up a great deal of sex worldwide), but the glorification and centrality of sex which is contributed to by a lot of 'consensual' sex can often uphold and propagate these kinds of things. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stereotypical "sex is intrinsically bad" religious person - sex is a beautiful and brilliant thing - I'm concerned about what happens when a culture becomes totally engrossed by it. It's simply not the case that issues of rape and trafficking are entirely separate and independent of consensual sex - those kinds of more obvious, explicit abuses can be aggravated and potentiated by a culture that begins to organise and define itself around sex.

    Not only this, but rape and sex trafficking are not the only ways of abusing sex, hence my adding the important clauses related to degradation, manipulation, and so on. Often, what is seen as consensual sex is not necessarily so - sure, both people understand that they are consensually doing particular things with their private parts, but there is not necessarily agreement on the significance, especially when not made explicit. This leads to, for example, one person viewing the sex as implicitly initiating a faithful long-term relationship, while another might view it as a one night stand with no more significance. What they are agreeing to, therefore, is not necessarily exactly the same thing. "Consensual" seems deceptive to me, as if it is the case that, because two people have both agreed to share a physical act, they have necessarily agreed on the role of their sex in relationship, emotion, and whatever else.

    (Furthermore, even explicitly-intentioned consensual sex might not be the best option. I think the problem here is that we've come to an understanding of 'how to live' that is very black and white, and very dichotomous in terms of 'if you do X, you have done something evil and are bad; if you do Y, you have avoided doing something evil and retain your goodness'. It seems to me to be the case that one can appropriately say that some course of action is wrong without implying that the person has become morally bankrupt, or done something evil, or done something which is the same kind of 'thing' as murder, only less severe. Just because something is not evil in the murderous kind of way, does not mean that they should live their life that way - one can take an example of someone who agrees to a one night stand because they think it will make them feel loved for a short while, and perhaps help their depression. She agrees to sex, and she agrees to its lack of significance. I might not say that she has done something evil, or that she deserves to be punished or anything like that, but would I say she made the wrong decision? Sure. It wouldn't be the best way for her to live her life, and it would be unnecessarily degrading herself for something that won't help at all in the long run, and may in fact contribute further to her depression and feeling of worthlessness).

    Although this might make the thread more of a religious thread but could you expand on what you mean by this, particular the latter part of the statement.
    As in, some major world religions don't believe in Adam and Eve at all, and a great many Christians see them as symbolic.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Disagree completely, sex only after marriage is wrong. Why risk submitting yourself to a lifetime of bad sex with someone who doesn't sync with you in bed? Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together and if you don't have the glue, it can all fall to pieces.
    So if you really loved someone, but the sex was rubbish, would you refuse to marry them?
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    (Original post by a_t)
    I disagree, marriage before sex however, that is always wrong
    This!!!!
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    Disagree. Personally, I wouldn't consider marrying someone I hadn't had sex with, it's such a personal and intimate thing that I think it would leave a big gap in the relationship if the 2 people didn't 'click' sexually.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    So if you really loved someone, but the sex was rubbish, would you refuse to marry them?
    Yes, without a shadow of doubt.
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    There is nothing wrong with safe, consensual sex. Why are religious people so obsessed with banning it? Sex this, sex that,no one is allowed condoms and all that **** ffs.

    Get over it. It's a thing humans are born to do. It's a thing we love to do. It feels good. It's not evil. It's not affecting you. If you want to restrict yourself then that's your own problem.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Yes, without a shadow of doubt.
    Interesting. To me, love is a lot more important than sex. Each to their own I suppose.
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    I also disagree.Theres no way I would marry someone without having had sex with them first.What happens if it turns out that they are crap at sex, I'd be stuck with him and his crap sex for life!.No , sorry I just couldnt do it.
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    Disagree. The whole concept of marriage is very outdated. It is essentially a religious thing and not many people here are religious anymore. And perhaps to be certain of the paternity of children. But animals don't get married so why is it needed to have sex....sex is essentially for procreation. People obviously don't just have sex to procreate- they do it because it feels good. And with protection available nowadays, then why should sex just be reserved for marriage....some people can't get married for financial reasons or whatever. Some don't want to. Some just want sex with no commitment. It's the persons choice.
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    So is being a single mother.


    Mary got away with it though.
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    So if you really loved someone, but the sex was rubbish, would you refuse to marry them?
    If it was REALLY bad, like she had no sex drive, was terrible during sex and terrible at all the 'other sexual stuff', then i wouldnt exactly say 'no im not going to marry you', but it would put a big strain on wanting to do it:O
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    Marriage before sex is definatley wrong
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    (Original post by aliluvschoc)
    There is nothing wrong with safe, consensual sex. Why are religious people so obsessed with banning it? Sex this, sex that,no one is allowed condoms and all that **** ffs.

    Get over it. It's a thing humans are born to do. It's a thing we love to do. It feels good. It's not evil. It's not affecting you. If you want to restrict yourself then that's your own problem.
    No one here is talking about banning it.
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    I wouldn't have a problem with it if people were actually capable of using contraception properly. 200,000 abortions and over 200,000 unplanned pregnancies resulting in birth a year says to me that we can't. And how many of us that have indulged before marriage can honestly say they have never had their girlfriends come on a few days late or come on a few days late and **** themselves? As sex before marriage has occurred more and more the abortion rate has increased, as has the rates of single motherhood, both of which are extremely undesirable for our society.

    But hey, i'm married so I can get my fill .
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    (Original post by I love shopping)
    Interesting. To me, love is a lot more important than sex. Each to their own I suppose.
    Why would I choose one or the other when I can have both? :confused: They aren't mutually exclusive, you know.
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    What I'm interested in is this: How many of ya'll think that sex should be ok outside of marriage, but also think it should only be with someone special?
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Why would I choose one or the other when I can have both? :confused: They aren't mutually exclusive, you know.
    Of course you could have both. I was just curious as to what you would if you did end up falling in love with someone like that.
 
 
 
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