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Sex before marriage is always wrong. watch

  • View Poll Results: Sex before Marriage is always wrong. Do you agree or disagree?
    Agree
    89
    17.69%
    Disagree
    414
    82.31%

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    What is marriage? A SIGNED PIECE OF FECKIN PAPER!
    What is sex? AN EXPRESSION OF LUUURRRVE!
    Why does one have to come before the other?!
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    Getting married too quickly just so you can have sex is wrong.
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    (Original post by kat2pult)
    Someone may have already put this, I don't know, I stopped reading when I got to this post.

    Whilst I agree with the first sentence of your post, I don't agree with the rest.

    Sex is definitely NOT the glue of a relationship. It's a bonus, and it's even more of a bonus when you have a partner who listens to what you need/want from them regarding sex and the like, but it's not what is the be-all and end-all to a relationship. The connection you have with that person is far more important; how sturdy your relationship is, your willingness to compromise and listen to each other, etc.

    Plus, surely people can get better at sex with practice?
    See this quote

    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Did I say a relationship was based on sex? No. I said it's the glue that holds the relationship together, and that is true. Generally if you have chemistry in bed then you will be stronger overall, as being sexually frustrated with someone impacts every other aspect of your relationship.

    I have had sex before marriage and can account firmly that sometimes you just don't and never will get on well with someone in bed, regardless of how much you communicate. You can't change what turns you on and some people can't change their style of having sex. On the other hand, my partner is so in tune with my body and has been from day one, we've never needed to communicate to improve our sex life because we are so in tune with each other naturally. We are turned on by the same things. You can't put a price on that chemistry, and I highly doubt regardless of how much you communicate you can get that 'click' with someone who doesn't turn you on in bed to begin with.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    See this quote
    I still disagree with you claiming that 'sex is the glue in a relationship'. There are so many different factors that affect the stickiness of a relationship.
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    (Original post by kat2pult)
    I still disagree with you claiming that 'sex is the glue in a relationship'. There are so many different factors that affect the stickiness of a relationship.
    Okay well we can agree to disagree, but it has been said many, many times that your sex life is a good indication of your overall relationship.
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    I don't get why marriage is such a big deal tbh. Its not going to make you love anyone any more. Its not going to make you "stay together more" (and if its the only thing keeping you together then that baaaaad)

    So why hold back on a part of your relationship until you sign something???
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    (Original post by Calumcalum)
    I think that sex is a gift which should be saved for the kind of relationship which marriage is an appropriate expression, reflection and solidification of. And so I do not think that sex outside of marriage is intrinsically wrong, but I would like to wait personally because I think that, for me, because of my views on marriage (and so this does not apply to all marriages, by any means), marriage will serve as a symbol (rather than a hurdle or gateway) that that kind of loving, respectful relationship is present. Hope that clears it up!
    If it's not too personal a question, would you personally find having sex while engaged to someone okay? Because obviously engagement is a commitment to get married...

    (Original post by RosieLucenstiel)
    I'd be interested in hearing from those who do believe sex before marriage is wrong - how do you define sex? Is it only penetrative sex that you consider wrong?
    I've also wondered this. I guess it depends on why the person thinks sex is wrong...If they believe sex should only be for procreation and that contraception is wrong, then non-penetrative sexual activity should be fine. But if it's about resisting temptation etc, then I guess no sexual activity would be allowed.
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    I for one have no plans to marry, at all, and see no reason at all why a tax agreement should affect who I choose to copulate with.
    The people who I choose to copulate with and I will collectively agree what is proper.
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    Personally I don't think its wrong.. But then I don't attach particular importance to losing one's virginity, its just something that happens to be honest. You can save it till marriage if you wanted to REALLY, but.. What is the real point?
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    'Marriage' is neither here nor there. Sexual hedonism in general is destabilising for a society, so ideally the less the better. Under age 20 it is certainly very dubious.
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    (Original post by Calumcalum)
    Personally, I think that marriage should be because two people want to commit themselves to each other (and to God, but I understand that religious stuff is not necessarily welcome in a secular arena, so bear in mind my struggle in espousing my position without reference to a key presupposition! ), because they love each other and want to treasure, respect, honour, dignify and support each other. It should not be to legitimate sex or anything else - and I agree that that is a key problem in becoming too legalistic about it (neither legalism or antinomianism work here, and I subscribe to neither). I think that sex is a gift which should be saved for the kind of relationship which marriage is an appropriate expression, reflection and solidification of. And so I do not think that sex outside of marriage is intrinsically wrong, but I would like to wait personally because I think that, for me, because of my views on marriage (and so this does not apply to all marriages, by any means), marriage will serve as a symbol (rather than a hurdle or gateway) that that kind of loving, respectful relationship is present. Hope that clears it up!
    Yes that makes sense.

    Personally, I would not wait (and indeed I haven't waited) for marriage to have sex. Reasons:
    I don't want to marry hastily
    But.. I don't want to spend years and years not having sex, when I could be having sex.. because sex is fun
    The idea of having had sex with more people than just "the one" doesn't bother me

    I see what you mean about the loving relationships (and you mean like really loving/committed I guess from the boldened part) perhaps being the best kind for sex. But I think this is where we disagree, because I don't think there particularly has to be love or commitment so long as there is respect, and both parties know exactly where they stand.

    I mean, personally - I wouldn't particularly be interested in sex on a very casual kind of basis. But that's just my preference, it isn't any kind of virtue. And if someone said "well actually I have sex with people I don't love (or are even particularly emotionally fond of), and I enjoy it, it's good fun, it doesn't hurt me" I would not be inclined to say that they were wrong. I mean how would I know? It seems too paternalistic to say "oh that's wrong, but I'm only thinking of what's best for you". And lots of people do say that that kind of sex is what they enjoy and that they're fine with it. We are talking (I presume) about consenting adults. Why should there be anything wrong with it? It is just a physical act which some people place more emotional emphasis on than others.

    So whilst you sound very reasonable (and I like you), I think we do disagree on this one

    And there are a lot of problems with virginity movements (not applying to your views necessarily) that disturb me and rather put me off the whole idea really. Like, women really being at an instant disadvantage, like all of this regret and guilt if someone does then have sex (when it is really not a harmful or evil thing, your own business really), and problems accompanying rushed marriage, and placing value on individuals for their sexual status (which I disagree with going in both directions).. etc etc
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    (Original post by Dirac Delta Function)
    Thanks **** head, but I don't need luck, I've found, and know loads.
    Yeah well done, enjoy your virgins. The fact that you want a virgin so bad is also quite disturbing - what's next, suicide bombing? After all, then you can get plenty more in 'heaven' right **** head?

    Also, it really doesn't surprise me that you know loads of virgins LOL.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    Just to clarify, will you be a virgin when you enter marriage. If not, well you know what I'm going to say.
    I assume that he is, being so charming and all.
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    In contemporary society, sex before marriage is seen as a must and a part of a healthy relationship, there is nothing wrong with it, i can see why people would decide not due religious reasons but i wouldn't understand if there was no religious part of their views
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    There's a BIG difference between sleeping around and having loads of partners & no relationships and having meaningful sex with a partner when you're in a caring committed relationship. You don't have to be married to care for each other. Lots of people live happily and never get married, they are no better or worse than those who get married. The logic is flawed in today's society.
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    You're allowed to have sex over the age of 16 so if a couple want to have sex then fine. It's a free society, perfectly legal and so therefore nothing is stopping us. It's none of our business what other people get up to just as much as it is for them to face up to any possible consequences of their actions.
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    (Original post by SoapyDish)
    If it's not too personal a question, would you personally find having sex while engaged to someone okay? Because obviously engagement is a commitment to get married...
    Don't worry, I've thought about that plenty the way I see it, if I loved someone enough to get engaged to them and we're planning a wedding, then I reckon I'll be able to wait just that bit longer (but also because I'm aware that some people will say yes to getting married when they don't actually want to do it - some people get married when they don't want to as well, sure, but it just cuts down the possibility just a little bit more if the marriage has actually happened). It saves a treat for the wedding night as well!
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    I think its a personal choice not gods choice
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    wow, 70+ disillusioned virgins and religious nuts on a forum like this?.. there's a surprise :rolleyes:
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    72 people believe it's always wrong? Is this for real?
 
 
 
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