I have a serious problem. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks and a night before yesterday, we decided to have sex (the first time for me). Unfortunately, when he tried to get his penis into my vagina, it hurt and I wasn't able to let him go further. He wanted to try it again last night, but I was sick of it, just thinking of that pain I could encounter again, so nothing happened.
I told him I might have a narrow vagina. He suggested I took tampons (I'm on period atm), so I could remove pain easily and get used to something inside my body. I wasn't keen on this (having had problems with wearing tampons previously and never been able to push them inside me properly), but we tried and it was the worst pain in my life - I spent next fifteen minutes in toilet and then I threw off the tampon.
I would like to sleep with my boyfriend, however, I'm only able to have oral sex or mutual masturbation. I am afraid of the pain, but I know I can't let him wait any longer. How do I avoid the pain? My boyfriend thinks I could get drunken, so I wouldn't feel anything, but I don't like the idea of me being drinken... On the other hand, it's probably the only solution to this problem.
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- Thread Starter
- 03-04-2011 19:30
- 03-04-2011 21:47
Hi. This is a common problem for many couples, I too encountered the same problem with my ex girlfriend.
The biggest problem is that you are a virgin, and so you may be nervous. Being nervous means that your vagina will naturally be narrower than it should be, it may even clamp shut (lol)
Basically to overcome this you just need be as comfortable as possible, you must be in a relaxed position both physically and mentally. I wouldn't worry about it to much, just make sure it is the right moment for it.
ps. you shouldn't need to get drunk, and it would ruin the moment.
- 03-04-2011 22:45
If it isn't nerves like the previous poster said it could be that vagisimus (sp? - sorry) and you should go see your doctor.
- 03-04-2011 23:17
Don't take this like your fault, maybe he need to make you more wet at start...maybe if you do this when time will go, without plan will be better!
- 04-04-2011 00:22
Go to bed with you b/f regularly with no intention of having sex. Cuddle, mutually please, and get comfortable with being with him, naked, and in intimate situations. You will be much looser and more lubricated just after an orgasm, so if/when you feel ready to try again, make sure you or he brings you off just prior. In private, you could play with a small, smooth dildo/vibrator, giving yourself clitoral orgasms and gently inserting it gradually more and more when you are well stimulated to get used to something going in there and to get that hymen out of the way.
- 04-04-2011 00:28
Just work your way up slowly. Get naked with each other and comfortable with each others bodies but without the intention of sex. Get him to use more foreplay and slowly you'll become more relaxed about it so you won't be as tight.
- 04-04-2011 14:16
As people have said, do other stuff for a while to get used to it so you're more relaxed, loose and wet. My girlfriend is in the same position you're in at the moment. You said you can't make your boyfriend wait any longer. Well you can, if he's a decent guy he won't rush you into anything. Does fingering work at all? As you've discovered, getting a penis in first time can be jumping in at the deep end if your vagina hasn't had a chance to stretch before.