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Why can't people accept that attractiveness is a major part in a relationship... watch


    Honestly some of the replies in this thread are absolutely ridiculous. Why should OP have to settle for someone she's not attracted too? Or ''give him a chance'' if she already knows she isn't attracted to him? :rolleyes: ... purely because he's a nice guy? That's not how it works ....

    He's a nice guy, but she doesn't feel attracted to him/doesn't have that 'spark' with him, therefore he will only ever be her friend, despite how nice he might be. There has to be physical attraction. Otherwise as someone else said, it's glorified friendship!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can I just ask how old you are? I'm thinking it does depend on age (not being patronising at all).

    I still don't think wanting someone you're physically attracted to does mean you're shallow. If you can't look at your boyfriend/girlfriend and feel attracted to them, then you might feel uncomfortable in a sexual relationship with them. You might get along like a house on fire but there's something very intrinsic a lot of the time about physical attraction. Maybe you have the ability to turn that off but some people don't. If I based relationships purely on looks and wouldn't go out with someone unless they were the hottest guy on earth and didn't care about personality, and wanted him as a sort of trophy to show off, yeah that's shallow. But rejecting someone becuase you're not physically attracted to them isn't shallow. Relationships are based on a lot of things.

    But no I'm NOT rejecting him on the sole basis he's not good looking. But I do think you're thinking about this in the wrong way and I think it's a bit narrow-minded and judgemental to call someone shallow if they think looks play some importance in relationships. If they're t he only thing they value, fair dos, they're shallow, but I value other things more, but still need some sort of vague physical attraction to them.
    I'm 22.

    Do I really need to point out the irony of you calling me "narrow-minded" and "judgemental" while currently telling me I'm thinking "in the wrong way" and that it's ok to judge and reject people based soley on their appearance?

    The persona you describe in bold would constitute absolute shallowness (I sincerely hope there is nobody actually like this). You can still be shallow to a certain extent without taking it to this extreme. Rejecting somebody based on appearance is, by definition, shallow. But you are not doing this, so why are we still arguing about it?

    I think we are just going to have to disagree, we clearly have very different perceptions of relationships.
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