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Finding time for younger brothers/sisters (problem) watch

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    This is a bit awkward for me..
    I have a brother who's 11, and while we used to get on quite well, over the past year he has turned into your typical miserable pre-teen. He hardly speaks a word, sometimes its like getting blood out of a stone when I ask him something, he just shrugs and mopes about. Things came to a head at xmas time, when he gave too much cheek to our mum, and I had to take him aside and tell him he was well out of order. Since then, its only got worse and I can't help but dislike him.

    At the moment all his life revolves around is his after-school football team, the games for which my parents go to every Saturday, and make a big deal of it every week, like he was in the bloody premier league or something.

    The problem is, they expect me to go to the games too, and my brother throws a strop if I don't go, which is because I live away from them and work full time, so its impossible to go (Saturday being our busiest day, and it would take me an hour to get back into town). Everytime I see my brother, he asks why I wasn't there (in a sort of cheeky "oh really is that your excuse" way), and I can't help but feel annoyed at his attitude, because I try and see my family as much as I can, but I work every weekend. When I suggest something else, like going down the arcades or out for lunch, he just gives me a dirty look, like he'd rather not be with me at all


    Last weekend I had Saturday morning off, only because I worked Friday till 2am. My mum phoned me up and asked if I was going to the game that morning, and when I told her no, because I'd worked late, she told my brother and apparently he was annoyed.

    What can I do?? I annoy my brother if I dont go to his primary school football matches, but anything else I suggest is met with a vague disinterest.
    Should I try something else, or maybe I should butt out his life altogether??
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    It's just the age, ignore him he'll grow up a bit. My sister's 12 and she's moaney as anything.

    "You wanna go shopping?"
    "No"
    "You wanna go get icecream?"
    "Errm, no thanks".

    :rolleyes: Only thing she's interested in is her friends and texting.

    OH, and occasionally using my makeup/perfume without permission.. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Shockley)
    This is a bit awkward for me..
    I have a brother who's 11, and while we used to get on quite well, over the past year he has turned into your typical miserable pre-teen. He hardly speaks a word, sometimes its like getting blood out of a stone when I ask him something, he just shrugs and mopes about. Things came to a head at xmas time, when he gave too much cheek to our mum, and I had to take him aside and tell him he was well out of order. Since then, its only got worse and I can't help but dislike him.

    At the moment all his life revolves around is his after-school football team, the games for which my parents go to every Saturday, and make a big deal of it every week, like he was in the bloody premier league or something.

    The problem is, they expect me to go to the games too, and my brother throws a strop if I don't go, which is because I live away from them and work full time, so its impossible to go (Saturday being our busiest day, and it would take me an hour to get back into town). Everytime I see my brother, he asks why I wasn't there (in a sort of cheeky "oh really is that your excuse" way), and I can't help but feel annoyed at his attitude, because I try and see my family as much as I can, but I work every weekend. When I suggest something else, like going down the arcades or out for lunch, he just gives me a dirty look, like he'd rather not be with me at all


    Last weekend I had Saturday morning off, only because I worked Friday till 2am. My mum phoned me up and asked if I was going to the game that morning, and when I told her no, because I'd worked late, she told my brother and apparently he was annoyed.

    What can I do?? I annoy my brother if I dont go to his primary school football matches, but anything else I suggest is met with a vague disinterest.
    Should I try something else, or maybe I should butt out his life altogether??
    Right I have been in the situation before... My little brother is also 11 and also plays football on Saturdays, which is attended by my sister and my mum. I don't need an excuse for not going... I can't roll out of bed at 6.30am on a Saturday, it is absolutely impossible.

    I make this up to my brother by watching him train on Tuesdays and giving him a fiver every now and then to keep him happy. Bad I know but he seriously gets over it quicker. He has a major attitude problem lately, he's been at secondary school for 7 months and is walking around like he owns the place.

    My brother will have his final at the end of this month, if your brother has one also try to attend it. I made a promise to my brother that I will attend training and his final cup game.

    Have a chat with your brother and let him know that if you're working till 2am it is a bit of a stretch waking up. Or you could always buy him something to contribute to you missing his games... I normally opt for new shin pads.
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    Your lil bro is just feeling left out. His matches are important to him and he wants to share them with you. Before he would of been upset but now that he's older its turned into anger. Most younger brothers look up the there elder bros/sis's alot more than they will ever let on. And he's 11 so mix all those hormones in with it and you have one heck of a moody pre-teen. He wouldnt be so bad if he wasn't that age.

    Just explain that you cant make it to all his game/practices but if he like you can take him to a local match once in a while. Or you could head off to a park with him and his mates and have a kick about.

    Experience: Eldest of 8 (5 sisters, 2 brothers.)
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    I sympathise, my sister is just starting to come out the other side of this. It's been about a 6 year process so far And I fully expect it to be another few years before it's completely over..

    The solution: A year abroad! The months before I left were filled with screaming arguments that always included "I can't wait to go to Australia to get away from you!"
    Now I get the odd text/facebook message saying she misses me: cute

    But seriously, when a kid gets to this stage they will find a problem with anything you say or do.
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    don't avoid all interaction with him completely. He must take part in other activities or follow the premier league or something-- try talking about his game with him or football in general. even if he's sarcastic/ feigning menace about doing other activities with you, try joining him when he's doing something else or just talking to see how he's doing. he's prole making a big deal 'cause he's good or thinks he's good lol plus the game is prole the highlight of his week.

    (Original post by tasia)
    But seriously, when a kid gets to this stage they will find a problem with anything you say or do.
    lol yeah
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    think we need a male response here. Smack him round the head and tell him to grow up.

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    I kid I kid. Other responses are better I guess.
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    Everyone's advice has been very helpful and I will take it on board, thanks. I have another brother Anthony who is 15, we get on a lot better because we have similar interests, and same sense of humour,and we both play tennis, but with my younger footy-mad brother I don't know how things will progress, both of them are so different.
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    (Original post by tasia)
    The solution: A year abroad! The months before I left were filled with screaming arguments that always included "I can't wait to go to Australia to get away from you!"
    Now I get the odd text/facebook message saying she misses me: cute
    .
    Thats the thing, I've spent the last 4 years away from home, either away at uni or abroad, and to be honest it's like he never even noticed I was away. Though I could be wrong, because he doesnt say much.
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    Tell him to get over it.
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    I agree with the males. Just tell him to get over it, that's the way it is. My little brother (13 to my 16) became moody and copped an attitude around the same age. He's still like that, but he knows his place.
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    (Original post by Shockley)
    Thats the thing, I've spent the last 4 years away from home, either away at uni or abroad, and to be honest it's like he never even noticed I was away. Though I could be wrong, because he doesnt say much.
    Whether he admitted/admits it or not he misses you. Maybe that's why it's such a big deal to him that you always come to watch him play?
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    I don't know... but I don't think you're the bad guy in this situation. Sure it sucks and hit hurts his feelings that you're always working or busy to attend the things he likes and wants you to go to, but you have to do these things, it isn't like you're just lazy and want to lay around the house all day.

    Don't sacrifice doing the things you need to do to make him happy. I know it's hard but when he gets older he'll understand that you just couldn't make it.
 
 
 
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