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People think I'm pretty, intelligent and a nice person- but they don't care about me watch

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    Well, as it says really. I'm really not being big-headed, and when I was with my ex I never really thought about any of those things at all, but now I'm single and socializing more with groups of people, I've had lots of compliments saying I'm a lovely person, and pretty, and intelligent.

    But they all seem to count for nothing, because at the end of the day, nobody seems to care that much about me or want to spend time with me all that much- friends as well as potential boyfriends. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just insanely boring but I don't really believe that. It sounds crazy but I think I have something wrong with me that just makes me completely unlovable. I don't seem to be able to compel people to want to spend time with me, or to care about me if I am upset (and no I don't go round being unstable and upset all the time) and I find it hard then to open up and be vulnerable, but at the same time I don't want to come across as a robot by never showing emotion if I'm upset.

    Last week, for example, I was really sick in the texts I was sending a guy I was meant to be seeing (I had to cancel plans with him) when I said I was sick he was sympathetic, and then I confided how down I was about the timing of it, how I was looking forward to seeing him, and he got pretty chilly and seemed freaked out. Obviously I overstepped a mark but I was trying to be a normal person and just say how I was feeling.

    Because I have this problem in "reading" peoples interests and what they are comfortable with, does this mean I possibly have aspergers? or just poor social skills?
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    I'm thinking it's prolly just 'poor social skills' or that he's just a douche. But if you think you're showing more signs for aspergers then maybe you should look into it more? Unfortunately I don't know much about aspergers so I can't help much. Sorry.
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    By and large, people are too caught up in their own lives and problems to care that much about other people, unless they happen to be a close friend, partner or family member. I'm not saying it's right, it's just the way it is in general.

    That's not to say that if something bad happened to you, loads of people wouldn't care, just in day-to-day life people tend to be rather self-obsessed. I have friends, but only a couple I would properly confide in etc - it's not that unusual.

    As for the guy, either he's a douche or you came on too strong. I wouldn't worry about it though, I'm sure your social skills are fine. And like you said, you have plenty going for you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, as it says really. I'm really not being big-headed, and when I was with my ex I never really thought about any of those things at all, but now I'm single and socializing more with groups of people, I've had lots of compliments saying I'm a lovely person, and pretty, and intelligent.

    But they all seem to count for nothing, because at the end of the day, nobody seems to care that much about me or want to spend time with me all that much- friends as well as potential boyfriends. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just insanely boring but I don't really believe that. It sounds crazy but I think I have something wrong with me that just makes me completely unlovable. I don't seem to be able to compel people to want to spend time with me, or to care about me if I am upset (and no I don't go round being unstable and upset all the time) and I find it hard then to open up and be vulnerable, but at the same time I don't want to come across as a robot by never showing emotion if I'm upset.

    Last week, for example, I was really sick in the texts I was sending a guy I was meant to be seeing (I had to cancel plans with him) when I said I was sick he was sympathetic, and then I confided how down I was about the timing of it, how I was looking forward to seeing him, and he got pretty chilly and seemed freaked out. Obviously I overstepped a mark but I was trying to be a normal person and just say how I was feeling.

    Because I have this problem in "reading" peoples interests and what they are comfortable with, does this mean I possibly have aspergers? or just poor social skills?

    Zainab, is that you?
 
 
 
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