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Ending a relationship: is it like pulling off a plaster? watch

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    Long story short: been going out with my girl for 2.5 years now. Been living together for 10 months, and things have been cack for a while; haven't had sex in close to 3 months, and we just don't spend much time together as our separate hobbies kinda inhibit this and neither of us is really prepared to comprimise.

    Rent runs out in 7weeks, and I want 1 month probably to sort out a new flat if I'm gonna do this, so I guess I should do it soon. But how do I do it? I'm so anxiety-stricken over it but I know I'll feel relieved when I've done it. She's already told me when we've argued that she's sorted out living with a mate if we break up.

    My inner coward is really tempted to just wait until our next argument erupts and do it then. Gah.

    Advice? Also worried if I do it before late-April she'll refuse to pay the last month's rent and just bugger off...
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    I'd sort out a flat, don't tell her though. When the lease is up, drop the bomb and roll out.
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    It's more like removing a tic from your ballsack. Do it right and it's all good, but do it wrong and it will **** with you for the next few months at least.
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    (Original post by Broderss)
    It's more like removing a tic from your ballsack. Do it right and it's all good, but do it wrong and it will **** with you for the next few months at least.
    Absolutely. I would go ahead and make preparations to leave if you have to although I wouldn't tell her. Obviously I can't just suggest something like talking about it or seeing someone because it seems like this is a serious matter and you've already tried everything.

    Good luck man, hope everything works out for you.
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    i'd be very carefull, are the bills both in your names and either off you pays for each bill? she might just get pissed off and not pay the bill then you wil get a suprise visit from mr stuck up bailif..id just tell her straight instead of the planning.
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    Just do it. Yea its gonna be difficult but when do it will be a huge weight off your shoulders. Also right now you're just leading her on which isnt fair
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    Don't wait until there's an argument. She might think it's a short-term thing and you'll come back. Also surely it would be nicer to end it amicably?
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    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    i'd be very carefull, are the bills both in your names and either off you pays for each bill? she might just get pissed off and not pay the bill then you wil get a suprise visit from mr stuck up bailif..id just tell her straight instead of the planning.
    Rent and phone/Internet come out of mine. Council Tax/Gas/Water come out of hers.
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    It's exactly like pulling off a plaster. My ex-girlfriends always end up in the bin covered in dried blood too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Rent and phone/Internet come out of mine. Council Tax/Gas/Water come out of hers.

    so im guessing both your names aint on any bills, if no then plot away if yes before you make a hasty move make sure she's up todate with her share of the bills, the last ting you want is ccj's and sh*t credit score cos of next girl.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Long story short: been going out with my girl for 2.5 years now. Been living together for 10 months, and things have been cack for a while; haven't had sex in close to 3 months, and we just don't spend much time together as our separate hobbies kinda inhibit this and neither of us is really prepared to comprimise.

    Rent runs out in 7weeks, and I want 1 month probably to sort out a new flat if I'm gonna do this, so I guess I should do it soon. But how do I do it? I'm so anxiety-stricken over it but I know I'll feel relieved when I've done it. She's already told me when we've argued that she's sorted out living with a mate if we break up.

    My inner coward is really tempted to just wait until our next argument erupts and do it then. Gah.

    Advice? Also worried if I do it before late-April she'll refuse to pay the last month's rent and just bugger off...
    Follow your instincts fella
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    Its better to talk than to wait until you have an arguement as you will both feel better after and can stay civil to each other until everything is sorted out. It sounds like you will still have to spend time together to sort out moving out and bills so you don't want to be not talking. I would also wait a few weeks until you get close to moving out, you don't want it to be awkward at home for longer than necessary. Don't worry about it too much tho, if things are as bad as you say then she is prob expecting it or planning the same herself.
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    She probably feels the same way as you..I'd say just talk to her about it and it will make everything a lo simpler.
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    Talk to be honest, makes everything alot more amicable, at least then you can divide up any stuff you have happily rather than in a blazing row trashing each others stuff. Also, do YOU have a place to go if there is a break up, she's making plans with her friends, is only fair you can make plans with yours. But maybe its worth one last go after 2 and half years? But if you're really not happy just talk to her, clearly she sees it coming, she wont be surprised.
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    We had a big argument about this kinda thing in December and so we said this would be our last go basically.

    I think I just want my own life basically. My own studio flat with my TV and games and movies and just time to do what I want, go out when I want and not feel guilty because some of the work mates I go drinking with happen to be female and fairly attractive, not that I would ever cheat of course.

    If I do it now this could mean a few weeks of awkwardness and I doubt she'll pay the rent coming out in a few weeks, leaving it to fall to me.

    Though she pays most ancillary bills so I could just not pay her for them..

    Hmmmm. Waiting til she's paid me rent would be really crass, but £400 is £400.
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    I tried this. It's not any easier in the shower :sad:
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    Ok, enough plaster jokes now!
 
 
 
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