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Boyfriend thinks of other girls while having sex with me watch

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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    I don't think it's acceptable, but your argument was about his emotions, not whether it is or isn't acceptable.
    I also made no judgement there in whether it's rational to feel insecure or not, I think there is certainly a legitimate reason for the OP to feel insecure, I would, I can't think of anyone who wouldn't be, and there are obvious rational reasons why.

    Your arguments against me are based on mixing up 3 different issues.
    His emotions.
    Whether his behaviour is acceptable.
    Whether it's rational/reasonable/legimiate for the OP to feel insecure.
    Yes, and I stick by what I said previously that her partner's love cannot be entirely there if he fantasizes about other women in the middle of the precise act that is supposed to demonstrate your love and dedication to a single person.

    Call me old-fashioned.
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    Yes, and I stick by what I said previously that her partner's love cannot be entirely there if he fantasizes about other women in the middle of the precise act that is supposed to demonstrate your love and dedication to a single person.

    Call me old-fashioned.
    So sex is 'making love'?
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    Wow, he sounds like a douche.

    Even if he does think of other girls whilst having sex with you, there was no need for him to tell you this. It just seems intentionally cold and mean for him to actually say this out loud to you, and makes it even worse!

    I guess the benefit of knowing this though is that now you don't have to waste anymore time on him. You can get rid of him and find someone else who appreciates you

    He's not worth your time!
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    How long have you been going out?

    As a relationship matures, it is actually natural to start thinking about other people whilst you're having sex. It happens as the early excitement starts to dissappear as your feelings for each other evolve but that happens in ALL relationships.

    It is weird he told you this but it is very common, try not to be too upset. There is a lot of stuff about this that you can read as to why people do it.
    I agree, it's quite common in long term relationships. It's better than him actually cheating though right? He is being kind not unkind.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    So sex is 'making love'?
    Personally, yes. And the OP clearly believes that she's having sex with someone she loves, and who loves her back, otherwise she wouldn't be so upset.
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    (Original post by monchouchou)
    dtmfa

    dump that motherf--ker's ass.
    hellllll yeahhhhhh!

    +rep
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    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    I agree, it's quite common in long term relationships. It's better than him actually cheating though right? He is being kind not unkind.
    Personally I think it's cruel that he told her he thinks of other women.

    It's like a big slap in the face like you're not good enough anymore, he needs to get off on thinking about other girls. It's not as bad as cheating, but in his mind he basically is even though he physically isn't cheating.

    Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
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    I do the same. I think of Susan Boyle so I don't prejaculate.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It makes me feel really crap and upset. Yes, he did actually tell me this.

    Is it normal?
    Ohh... is this the boyfriend that put up a post based on having sex with his gf but thinking of other girls whilst doing so?

    Well then. This is interesting.
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    ok a few things;

    I know friends who have thought of other people for various reasons and I will give a mature answer instead of, "OMG WHAT A **** !!!"

    it could be ...

    * men are used to watching porn, i.e. watching lots of different girls so maybe he is getting bored of the same old

    * who does he think of? celebs? people you know? his ex?

    * relating to the last * , if he has only had sex once it's natural to think of your ex, at least for a while

    * then of course the "he doesn't find you arousing" enough. that's not to say he doesn't find you attractive, as some girls are pretty and nice to look at, but it just feels weird thinking of them in a sexy/slutty way
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    It was wrong of him to tell you but yes, i expect it is very normal
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    Why is it normal for a guy to think of other girls while having sex with the girl he loves? So I guess people are just getting into each others beds for the sake of losing their virginity...
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    Personally, yes. And the OP clearly believes that she's having sex with someone she loves, and who loves her back, otherwise she wouldn't be so upset.
    So when I **** my other half like a porn star, because I love them, and they love me, it's the same as when I'm in a more tender mood involving cuddles and different types of kisses?
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    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    Yes but you're approaching this as a girl. Women think and feel differently to men generally. Men are more polygamous by nature, so to stay faithful to the girl he cares about he is only doing it in his mind. I think it was cruel to her though as well.
    I think you'd benefit greatly from "theorizing gender" and "sexing the brain".
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    Lmao that is a pretty harsh thing to say. I think you should cheat on him
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    So when I **** my other half like a porn star, because I love them, and they love me, it's the same as when I'm in a more tender mood involving cuddles and different types of kisses?
    Don't be silly :rolleyes:

    How you do it makes no difference at all, but the thoughts behind it should still be focused on the two of you, not someone else, if you're doing it for love.

    If you're doing it for the sex alone then you have no leg to stand on if you complain that your partner's thoughts are elsewhere.
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    Why is it normal for a guy to think of other girls while having sex with the girl he loves? So I guess people are just getting into each others beds for the sake of losing their virginity...
    Agreed. And if it is normal, then I have lost all faith in society.
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    In my experience it's not normal, and I seriously think that if you're having to actually imagine your partner is someone else then you clearly shouldn't be with them anymore. You should want them and only them in a serious long lasting relationship.
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    (Original post by NeonSkies)
    Call me old fashioned but if you're in love with someone and you're having sex with them to demonstrate your love the only one you should be thinking about is that one person.
    I totally agree with you. People don't understand the difference between having sex with the one you love to demonstrate your love and having sex just for the sake of sex.

    If you're with that person and are in a serious, loving and long term relationship it shouldn't be the latter.
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)
    Don't be silly :rolleyes:

    How you do it makes no difference at all, but the thoughts behind it should still be focused on the two of you, not someone else, if you're doing it for love.

    If you're doing it for the sex alone then you have no leg to stand on if you complain that your partner's thoughts are elsewhere.
    Have you, actually, ever even had sex?

    Of course how you do it makes a difference.
 
 
 
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