Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

First time going to take a girl for coffee. How do I go about it? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Please keep anon as I don't want to embarrass myself.

    I've arranged to meet up with a girl for a coffee some time in a couple of days, but this is my first time I'm doing such a thing.

    I just need serious advice on how to go about it.

    For instance, when do I pay? At the end? Do I ask if she wants anything to eat with whatver she drinks?

    And I'm not looking to do anything with her after.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Don't discuss money, go with the flow, be relaxed and have fun. Be your best self. She's agreed to go coffee with you, assume attraction and that'll breed your confidence.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Just be yourself and act as you normally would in a coffee shop but with consideration for the girl that you're with. Normal rules of politeness apply really. Also don't overthink the matter.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Aw, this is kinda cute

    When do you pay? I would imagine that would depend on the shop.

    If you're prepared to buy her something to eat, buy her something to eat. If she wants to eat something, eat with her or she'll feel greedy.

    Also, chill out. Good luck
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Calm down it's just a coffee that ultimately won't result in anything?
    Don't mean to be rude, but even by my socially awkward standards...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    well if its like starbucks or costa you just pay out the counter,

    Go in, find somwhere to sit and ask her what she wants then go up and get it?

    I dont know how you can find this embarresing at all, it'll be fine.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon as I don't want to embarrass myself.

    I've arranged to meet up with a girl for a coffee some time in a couple of days, but this is my first time I'm doing such a thing.

    I just need serious advice on how to go about it.

    For instance, when do I pay? At the end? Do I ask if she wants anything to eat with whatver she drinks?

    And I'm not looking to do anything with her after.
    Good luck getting much of that!

    In terms of paying, it depends on the place. Places like Starbucks make you pay first. Don't ask if she wants anything to eat. It sounds a tad patronising, like you're her parent. If she wants something, she'll have something. Besides, it will only get in the way of conversation.

    What do you mean you're not looking to do anything with her after? You're going for coffee then going to ignore her and go straight home? Or do you mean something inappropriate?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    in response to the title - don't order tea?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by anonymous)
    please keep anon as i don't want to embarrass myself.

    I've arranged to meet up with a girl for a coffee some time in a couple of days, but this is my first time i'm doing such a thing.

    I just need serious advice on how to go about it.

    For instance, when do i pay? At the end? Do i ask if she wants anything to eat with whatver she drinks?

    And i'm not looking to do anything with her after.
    u gay bro?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Make sure she likes coffee :teehee:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I really don't understand how some guys have the ability/courage to ask girls out (I'm assuming you asked her) but then have difficulty with trivial matters like when to pay/asking her if she wants something to eat.

    Surely you've been to a coffee shop before... I would've thought a more obvious question to ask would be relating to who pays.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bwfcboy93)
    in response to the title - don't order tea?
    Aaaahhh oh my god, 50/50!!

    Back to the question, just be yourself, like someone said if she does order food, get something as well so she desnt feel self concious eating by herself. Maybe go for a walk or something afterwards as well
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah I think everyone is going to be in agreement here. All you can be is yourself, no reason to put an act on. She agreed to meet YOU! If it doesn't work out take it as experience, the first date type thing ever is always a daunting matter like most first things (kiss, sex, relationship) but once you've got the first out the way then its like 'why was I so worried?!'
    Just have a laugh and enjoy yourself, lifes too short to worry
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    just a little suggestion try and keep it as casual as possible in the sense that if you feel awkward that is likely to make her feel the same do try and be as casual and normal as possible to ease the feel of the whole thing
    so good luck and more important than anything else enjoy yourself
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SuperSam_Fantastiche)
    Aw, this is kinda cute

    When do you pay? I would imagine that would depend on the shop.

    If you're prepared to buy her something to eat, buy her something to eat. If she wants to eat something, eat with her or she'll feel greedy.

    Also, chill out. Good luck
    Listen to this woman :yes:

    Relaaaaaaaaaax. Being nervous is normally a good sign cause you're genuinely excited, but if you don't relax the date won't flow naturally.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bwfcboy93)
    in response to the title - don't order tea?
    This reminded me of something I've never understood: why is it always coffee (when asking girls out)? I don't dislike coffee (although I don't drink it very often and prefer tea) , but I don't understand where that association comes from. For me, it feels much more natural to go for a drink at the pub.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    dont discuss money, just go with the flow. i would suggest getting a seat, asking what she wants then you going to the counter to order. she might want to offer you the money for her drink though (some women always do).
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rmanoj)
    This reminded me of something I've never understood: why is it always coffee (when asking girls out)? I don't dislike coffee (although I don't drink it very often and prefer tea) , but I don't understand where that association comes from. For me, it feels much more natural to go for a drink at the pub.
    Ah yes, loosening them up with alcohol is the key to success!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rmanoj)
    This reminded me of something I've never understood: why is it always coffee (when asking girls out)? I don't dislike coffee (although I don't drink it very often and prefer tea) , but I don't understand where that association comes from. For me, it feels much more natural to go for a drink at the pub.
    I think its American Rom Coms as to why we have to feed into the ****e coffee Starbucks have to offer. Whats wrong with a flagon of cider pikey style?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Keckers)
    Ah yes, loosening them up with alcohol is the key to success!
    I'm also definitely a pub person. Sod the coffee, let's get stuck in and have a laugh.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 5, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.