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I don't understand how girls pick partners Watch

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    why cant people speak their mind?
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    I've said this to a guy before but regretted it afterwards. I saw this guy as my best friend: we'd see each other every day, go out to town on weekends (I've since realised he may have thought this was a date although I didn't realise at the time ), he got me heart-shaped hand warmers for christmas (why did I not suspect anything from this?), we got on really well and enjoyed each other's company. I'd been friends with him in this way for about two years and thought nothing of it: to me it was just friendship! At the time I was very naive as I was young and hadn't had any experience with guys or relationships. One day he walked me home and came into my house, I always invited him in out of politeness but this was the first time he took up the offer. He kissed me and I was shocked (this was my first kiss). He told me he liked me and asked if I liked him too but I didn't know what to say. I told him I'd thought about the idea of us going out before (I had but never seriously) but had been worried that it would ruin our friendship. He took this as "I don't want to go out with you, I don't find you attractive" and avoided me out of embarrassment after that. So not going out with him ruined our friendship! I then realised I did have feelings for him and I missed him but it was too late by then. It took a while for us to become friends again after that but we're still not as close as we used to be.

    Basically, I said "I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship" but didn't mean it in the traditional way and regretted it afterwards!
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    Why cant people speak their mind?
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    Girls say "I don't want to ruin our friendship" when the guy is in the friend zone, and not attractive to the girl and/or not their type
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    (Original post by Asiko)
    This topic isn't about me but I'll use me as an example. I've asked out so many girls and they've all replied "we're too much like friends, I don't want to ruin or friendship". In fact, every single girl I've asked out has turned me down.

    Now I'm wondering then, how the hell do they pick their partners? Do they pick people who are not their friends i.e complete strangers? Would they prefer to date someone they don't know much over a friend who they know will treat them right and enjoy being with?

    What's the difference if a guy and a girl spend a lot of time together then become a couple?

    I know that sometimes it's the truth but a lot of times I know that this is because the guy is unattractive or not their "type". But personally I would prefer the truth. Do people fear what would happen if they broke up? Can't people just act mature because it only becomes "awkward" if you make it so. For example, I can talk to a girl after I ask them out yet they act as if it's the strangest thing ever almost as if they think they should because that's the procedure or something.
    Mate you have got to make sure you don't get friend zoned. Get to know a girl but always let them know your interested, always throw in a bit of sexual innuendo or things like that. An definitely don't be on there beck and call, even if you have nothing better to do, tell them you do. Women love the chase, don't make it too easy. It really is that simple!
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    (Original post by leesworld)
    Mabe if the girl just turned round and said, hey i like you as a freind but sorry in not atracted to you this might make it easier for guys to understand lol
    True. A lot of girls tend to walk around the subject and stretch it out for as long as possible for the poor guy.
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    True. A lot of girls tend to walk around the subject and stretch it out for as long as possible for the poor guy.
    yeh its happend to me a few times lol dam that means im ugly lol
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    (Original post by leesworld)
    yeh its happend to me a few times lol dam that means im ugly lol
    No, it doesn't! You can be with the most good-looking guy in the world and not be attracted to him in the slightest. It's all about chemistry, and if it's not there, you can't help it. It just means you haven't found the right girl yet.
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    (Original post by Asiko)
    This topic isn't about me but I'll use me as an example. I've asked out so many girls and they've all replied "we're too much like friends, I don't want to ruin or friendship". In fact, every single girl I've asked out has turned me down.

    Now I'm wondering then, how the hell do they pick their partners? Do they pick people who are not their friends i.e complete strangers? Would they prefer to date someone they don't know much over a friend who they know will treat them right and enjoy being with?

    What's the difference if a guy and a girl spend a lot of time together then become a couple?

    I know that sometimes it's the truth but a lot of times I know that this is because the guy is unattractive or not their "type". But personally I would prefer the truth. Do people fear what would happen if they broke up? Can't people just act mature because it only becomes "awkward" if you make it so. For example, I can talk to a girl after I ask them out yet they act as if it's the strangest thing ever almost as if they think they should because that's the procedure or something.
    For me being friends isn't a problem but it makes it kind of awkward when you've been friends for a really long time. A good friend of mine asked me out a while back and even though we do get on really well, it would feel as if I was dating my brother because I've known him since early childhood lol
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    This is the second thread where someone has "unwittingly" said the EXACT same thing as Dreaming. WTF is going on?? :wtf:
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    No, it doesn't! You can be with the most good-looking guy in the world and not be attracted to him in the slightest. It's all about chemistry, and if it's not there, you can't help it. It just means you haven't found the right girl yet.
    oorrr thats sweet hun lol are you single? cos if you are i stand a good chance cos you aint seen me lol your right thou looks are one thing but beauty is only skin deep.
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    (Original post by Dude Where's My Username)
    This is the second thread where someone has "unwittingly" said the EXACT same thing as Dreaming. WTF is going on?? :wtf:
    Don't want to burst the bubble but, it's done purposely...
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    (Original post by Baula)
    For me being friends isn't a problem but it makes it kind of awkward when you've been friends for a really long time. A good friend of mine asked me out a while back and even though we do get on really well, it would feel as if I was dating my brother because I've known him since early childhood lol
    I understand that.

    I have a friend who I've merely known since September and haven't seen one outside of college and spend "enough" time together during the day, we sit next to each other, walk around and talk comfortably yet she used the same answer when I asked if she would consider dating.
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    (Original post by Asiko)
    I understand that.

    I have a friend who I've merely known since September and haven't seen one outside of college and spend "enough" time together during the day, we sit next to each other, walk around and talk comfortably yet she used the same answer when I asked if she would consider dating.
    Idk then :/ Maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings by giving a truer answer?
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    I'd rather her not insult my intelligence
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    I'll actually be helpful here :rolleyes:
    Girls say "I don't want to ruin our friendship" when the guy is in the friend zone, and not attractive to the girl and/or not their type.
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    they pick the guy who's shagged most of their mates
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    They get names from the electoral register and turn it into one big wheel of fortune. True story
    • #2
    #2

    No, I said to someone "I think it's better if we're just friends" because I really didn't want to ruin our friendship, plus we've known each other since we were about 5 so I thought it would be a bit werid. I genuinely meant that I'd rather be friends, than risk our friendship.
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    You might think this is weird but there have been scientific evidence suggesting that the female brain has a mechanism that detects the pheromones released by males and that serves as the "gut feeling" about who they approach.
 
 
 
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