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Can you be friends with the opposite sex?

(I'm sure there's been a thread about this before but I couldn't find it)

So I've just been watching "When Harry Met Sally" and you know the bit where Harry goes: "No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her" and then when Sally suggests that men can be friends with women who are unattractive he says "no, you pretty much want to nail them too". I was wondering what people (especially guys) thought about this?

I have some very close male friends and I'm convinced that boys and girls can be friends, but only after they've been through all that crap first. Obviously films aren't real, but it seems like a lot of people think men and women can't be friends.

Any viewpoints?

Reply 1

willey

4

The majority of my female friends are very attractive but that’s all they are to me, good friends! So in my opinion yes of course you can have friends of the opposite sex!

Reply 2

recneps

10

willey

The majority of my female friends are very attractive but that’s all they are to me, good friends! So in my opinion yes of course you can have friends of the opposite sex!

Definately true - of course you can be friends with the opposite sex. As a guy, i often find it easier to talk about emotional type things with female friends (in particular the last couple of weeks I've been feeling particularly depressed, and the two friends that i've found it easiest to talk to are both female). Conversely, one of my female friends has told me that she prefers to spend her time with guys rather than girls.

I don't think I would say that any of my female friends are unattractive, either in appearance or personality, but a lot of them have boyfriends and are therefore out of bounds anyway :wink:

I don't know whether anyone else has experienced though - i tend to find myself being more concerned about my female friends (e.g. when they are ill, etc) than male ones.

Reply 3

Sexy Plexi

5

in my experience, seldom. in the last 2years of sixth form, several of my friendships with guys got screwed up cos i found out a certain people had secret crushes on me and i hadnt realised- i didnt see them in that way at all and it made it rly awkward. likewise, i rly liked a male friend of mine and told him so.it wasn't reciprocal but i had to do it! but luckily we're fine, equally happy jus bein his mate, so wat i guess im tryin to say is...its difficult. hope to be proved wrong in future cos its always gud to have a varied bunch of amigos......

Reply 4

mini_mad

7

My mum once told me that men and women cldnt be jst friends especially not at my age but I said they could so she told me to watch when harry met sally however iv gt loads of male friends who are nufn more than friends. And theres one exception to the when harry met sally theory and thats Will and Grace

Reply 5

Trigger

18

will is gay :rolleyes:

99% of my mates are male and i havent nailed any of them :biggrin:

Reply 6

Poica

14

Yes. I won't explain why.

Reply 7

Cate

1

Of course you can be friends with the opposite sex! I bloody well hope so anyway, cos guys are much better friends than girls, much less bitchy. Unless they're gay, in which case they go into a little bitchyness sub-category where it isn't as bad haha.

Reply 8

L i b

19

It's totally different for girls.

Guys generally don't want to be friends with unattractive girls and they similarly want to nail all the attractive ones.

Girls however seek both a nailing and a pseudo-homosexual to make them feel better about themselves.

Reply 9

*~Emma~*

1

Well from a girls point of view, i have lots of male friends, (probably more male friends than female friends) some of whom i'm very close to and i can honestly say i've never been sexually attracted to them in any way.

Reply 10

Profesh

20

Objet trouvé

(I'm sure there's been a thread about this before but I couldn't find it)

So I've just been watching "When Harry Met Sally" and you know the bit where Harry goes: "No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her" and then when Sally suggests that men can be friends with women who are unattractive he says "no, you pretty much want to nail them too". I was wondering what people (especially guys) thought about this?

I have some very close male friends and I'm convinced that boys and girls can be friends, but only after they've been through all that crap first. Obviously films aren't real, but it seems like a lot of people think men and women can't be friends.

Any viewpoints?

Only if they're idiotic enough to encourage me.

Reply 11

Fyska

9

I don't have any female friends. As a girl who's into computers, video games and all manner of geeky things, most girls just don't get on that well with me. So unless all my friends want to nail me ( seriously doubt it :/ )... Yes.

Reply 12

rachelrainbow32

2

Yes i have boy mates and girl mates, and boy mates where things have gone further and even then i am still mates with them.

Reply 13

Ferrus

19

I think Nietzsche had a point when he stated: "Women can enter into a friendship with a man perfectly well; but in order to maintain it the aid of a little physical antipathy is perhaps required."

Reply 14

lil_sweetie

1

I've got both boy and girl mates, though I am much closer with my girl mates. And with some of my guy mates I have sometimes thought they're fit or whatever - it doesn't stop me being friends with them though. I found out over the summer two guys I'm good friends with had crushes on me - and it hasn't changed us all being friends. Of course it's possible to have guy and girl mates without anything going on though.

Reply 15

xxemmaxx

i think though that sometimes its hard for people of the opposite to be really good friends cos theres always gonna be one of them who fancys the other one! i know that the boys ive got to know as friends ive ended up fancying. altho there are obviously some who i havent.

Reply 16

Dark and Lovely

15

im at 6th form at a boys school and in my year theres about 50 girls and 150 guys-there's even less girls in yr 13-so we pretty much have to be friends with boys
before that i went to an all girls school and i must say guys are much more dependable than girls-guys do bitch but its not as bad and is just me or are guys better at keeping secrets?!
me and my friend hang about in a group of 9-2 girls and 7 guys its not weird at all and its pretty much platonic cept for the fact i like one of the guys but its not awkward

Reply 17

Elondra

13

I have loads of boy mates that I'm definetly not attracted to and I think they are the same with me. But then again I'm not that close to them.

It depends on the people.

Reply 18

Jianren

You can easily be friends with the opposite sex. The only people who say you can't are the ones who only have single-sex friendship groups. All of my friends are male except for one (my best friend of eight years). Why? Because I find that girls are usually petty, immature, and annoying, and I find guys a lot more fun to hang around with. No sexual attraction involved from either end.

Reply 19

IzzTheGreat

10

Of course it's possible :rolleyes:

I'd say that all of my close friends, bar two, are male and they;re a lot easier to get on with. Yes, occasionally I fall for them and it's awkward but it's only ruined a friendship once.

Can you be friends with the opposite sex?

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