pushing guys away...

welll.... it always goes that I fancy a guy, we get to know each other, we get to like each other - and then as soon as he starts to show that he likes me I push him away.

I don't know why I do it, it's like as soon as someone shows a real interest I get scared and back off. I dont intend to do it, it just happens and I lose interest in them.

I don't know whether im addicted to the thrill of the chase or whether im scared of getting serious with someone.

any advice??? :frown:

Reply 1

tbm

13

Perhaps its a bit of both?

I guess you will just have to take a risk and trust your instincts- if you dont, you never know what may have been! Your confidence will probably increase when you put yourself in that situation and you might feel less inclined to react that way in the future, if that makes sense!!

Reply 2

trixie

9

that was harsh

--------------

oh its gone,

Anyway...i like this guy at the mo, and i think i only do because hes playing hard to get! So it might be the thrill of the chase

Reply 3

Tim Street

The reason I put it is because I've been in the position before where the girl just flits off as soon as you be honest about your feelings towards them. Its the most hurtful thing ever. So here's a tip...if you know your gunna end up hurting the guy, don't get involved in the first place!!

Reply 4

trixie

9

Fair enough, but the girl is obviously having a problem with it herself...cut her a bit of slack

Reply 5

Bubble Fairy

1

If it's any reassurance, I've had similar experiences

I really really like a guy, he gets to like me, & then asks me out, and I say no, or it starts getting close, but then I push him away.

Its really frustrating as now I've got so many regrets. Maybe I'm scared of commitment? Or worried it will all go wrong, and the good times will be lost? Or is it an issue of being too picky/choosy?

I think its so important to stop this habt, especially because it often results in an unfavourable reputation.

My advice is to take things really really slowly. Ask your mates to whether they think you're flirting. Live abit more on the edge & take up offers if you're interested, or atleast a compromise without pushing him away. A little bit of alcohol may help ease the situation aswell.

I think the main thing you need to do is establish a reason for your behaviour before you attempt to solve it.
Good Luck x

Reply 6

leona

12

Don't really know what to suggest cos I'm the same. Perhaps you should just ''go for it''? :confused:

Reply 7

MNBStyle

9

~chosen~

welll.... it always goes that I fancy a guy, we get to know each other, we get to like each other - and then as soon as he starts to show that he likes me I push him away.

I don't know why I do it, it's like as soon as someone shows a real interest I get scared and back off. I dont intend to do it, it just happens and I lose interest in them.

I don't know whether im addicted to the thrill of the chase or whether im scared of getting serious with someone.

any advice??? :frown:

Seems like your scared of commitment, and scared of being used perhaps???

Reply 8

-sophie-

11

I find I do that, and have done that with men who I only thought I liked, and didn't really (or did until I realised I could have them? don't know if that makes sence.) But when I have to chase a guy I end up being infactauted(sp?) by them and sometimes they push me away (eek that hurts). But when you find someone you really like and they like you the same way this doesnt seem to be a problem. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with you and you just havnt found the right person. If you found the right person you would know I feel. Good luck.

Reply 9

Tim Street

i can't believe you lot, seriously. What does anyone gain from the girl just deciding "rite, i can get u, next?"...please explain who benefits? Why start messing with them in the first place?

Reply 10

r0manticide17

3

could be the same for everyone, ive had experience like that. im just so shy though! just go for it and if it doesnt work, it doesnt work! You cant take things like that to heart when youre so young lol

Reply 11

IzzTheGreat

10

Tim Kabel

i can't believe you lot, seriously. What does anyone gain from the girl just deciding "rite, i can get u, next?"...please explain who benefits? Why start messing with them in the first place?

I'm with you on that. It's horrible, there seems to be some sort of misconception that all guys are self-assured and have no feelings. I could never do something like that!

Reply 12

frappuccino

6

I am exactly the same! Argh. I think partially I have a fear that I will be taken advantage of (never happened so not really justified), but mostly that I don't like being vulnerable, even though you have to sometimes. Also it's the feeling that if something is right there in front of you (hence easy to get) at the time, then it doesn't seem very interesting so 'thrill of the chase' I guess. It really sucks cos I really do want a bf but I push everyone away too. On the other hand, when a guy is actually interested I feel like there is no way in the world I could go out with them because it would just feel wrong. :s-smilie:

I guess when you meet someone who understands you well then it will be ok. (Better be anyway)

--------------

Tim Kabel

The reason I put it is because I've been in the position before where the girl just flits off as soon as you be honest about your feelings towards them. Its the most hurtful thing ever. So here's a tip...if you know your gunna end up hurting the guy, don't get involved in the first place!!

Sigh...I think I need to take your advice and tell this guy I'm not interested...I feel pretty bad now after reading that.

Reply 13

~chosen~

OP

its nice to know im not the only one :smile:

if its any consolation though, i honestly dont think I do it just to 'see if I can get this one' in a heartless sort of way. I genuinely do start liking the guy but as soon as the feelings seem to become mutual I just dont feel the same... its frustrating cuz no relationships seem to get anywhere. maybe it is just the thrill of the chase but if it is then how do you stop doing it? ARH!!!

Reply 14

GarageMc

1

wow thats bad. Why are girls like this?

Reply 15

Tim Street

well its them that lose out in the end so... but like, the whole point of being in love is that its mutual...when u wake up n there's a txt there sayin 'hey babe wakeywakey...cnt wait to see u later on...wat times the table booked.. love u so much xxx' ..there's no other feeling in the world like it. If you have the attitude of "He likes me!! thats so unnatractive in a guy!!" then you need your brain tested...you're missing out on so much. Sure the thrill of the chase is good, but it's noway near as good as the thrill of the night in with a dvd and some wine.

Reply 16

CherryGarcia

1

may be you just dont really like them and thats why push them away, coz exactly that happened to me for like 2 years before I met my current BF...I fall in love with him and really liked him (and stil like :smile:

) and didnt push...just give it time and wait for someone you'd really like, then you'd not have any reason to push him =)

Reply 17

xelprep

trixie

Fair enough, but the girl is obviously having a problem with it herself...cut her a bit of slack

why? she's probably broken dozens of hearts in her "career" :biggrin:

pushing guys away...

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