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    As the title says...I just have a total mental block about it. I am quite close at to the moment to this guy I really like. We have known each other for quite some time and we get on really well. I just close up when it comes to any kind of physical intimacy and I don't know how to break myself of this. Mentally I love the idea of it but when it comes to actually doing it in person (kissing and beyond), I struggle, which is why my love life so far isn't exactly shining. I do have big self confidence issues which doesn't help either.

    I should say that I'm in my early twenties and have never had a serious relationship. I feel inexperienced compared to friends of a similar age, many of whom have had or are in long term relationships. I don't want to end up as some lonely old woman surrounded by cats because I'm scared to be intimate.
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    I'm a guy and girls like you are extremely annoying. Fair enough it's your body, do what you want. But you can't expect to be in a relationship with a guy without any physical intimacy at some point. In fact quite a lot of people kiss their partners before they even enter a relationship with that person.

    My advice to you is to wait until your ready, but don't commit yourself until you're ready either.

    Have a good day
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    (Original post by SkinFadeHaircut)
    I'm a guy and girls like you are extremely annoying. Fair enough it's your body, do what you want. But you can't expect to be in a relationship with a guy without any physical intimacy at some point. In fact quite a lot of people kiss their partners before they even enter a relationship with that person.

    My advice to you is to wait until your ready, but don't commit yourself until you're ready either.

    Have a good day
    Yeah I agree with this too, I'm not saying rush into things by any means, but guys (and girls) do expect a little bit of intimacy after a while. Perhaps talk to your partner about your anxiety, and if he takes it really well and reassures you this should make you much more comfortable being around him.
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    Just do it, use this as motivation:

    http://wtfoodge.com/wp-content/uploa...-cat-woman.jpg
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    I have the same exact problem and I'm around the same age...and everyone just tells me to 'get over it' but for some reason I can't and its not as easy as it seems.
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    If mentally you 'love the idea of it,' then perhaps intellectually you're ready to be intimate but you freeze up in the moment. It's probably a bit like riding a roller coaster: you know it's all good and safe and that you're ready to do it (probably because you just stood in line for ninety minutes), but as the lap bar comes down you start to second-guess.

    So if you're just getting cold feet at the last second, my advice would be--crass as it sounds--to 'just do it.' Inside, you can be thinking 'Oh god oh god what am I doing have I lost my mind what the heck was I thinking oh god oh god,' but you can forge ahead in spite of that very loud self-doubt. And who knows: if you can push past that final self-erected barrier, you might really like what results.

    You say you have self-confidence issues: we've all been there, and we feel you on that point, I promise. But it's worth remembering in moments like these that if he weren't into you, he wouldn't be all over you. Clearly he likes what he sees (hears/feels/et al), so don't insult his taste by not having confidence in yourself!
    • #2
    #2

    i used to be the same, i liked the idea but the thought just made me feel really weird and i had somewhat of a block about it. make sure you are comfortable around the person and it will be fine, the first time i kissed my bf (previously he was my best friend) i was nervous as hell and it felt so awkward, it was the first sober kiss of my life but then it was fine. when it came to us having sex i was so nervous but by the time we had got to that point i thought it would be mean to stop there and it was going to happen at some point so thought i might as well just get on with him, i trusted him to be gentle and listen to me etc.

    sorry if that doesnt help very much but all i can say is dont rush it, it will happen when you are comfortable with someone and if it feels natural then just go for it, you only live once as long as you trust them and they listen to you it will be ok
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    Did this thread really need to be resurrected from five weeks ago?

    The advice is concise: you need to do whatever you can to overcome this fear of intimacy. Finding someone supportive who's interested in you for you is a good one to gradually ease yourself into being comfortable with intimacy.
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    Regardless of whether this thread is still valid, just take things at your own pace, don't worry about what your friends are doing. If you have a good relationship with the person, and he knows you, he'll understand.
 
 
 
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