Been going out with gf for 2.5 years, living together for almost a year but it's been going badly as I quite like my own space and am really missing being by myself.
Got home to have our chat last night. Told her in a long winded way I felt there wasn't much of a way to fix it and I feel like it's probably best to go our separate ways. She bursts into tears and is absolutely hysterical which absolutely horrifies me and is probably the most hurt I've ever made someone feel.
She says can I think it over for a few days. She then promises not to disturb me when I'm playing games/watching films but I kinda rejected it as it feels too subservient.
I do still love her but we just don't work living together. I want my own space to sit around in my pants playing PS3 all night if I want to, and that doesn't really wash in a 24/7 relationship.
So I said yes to giving it a few days. She just sent me a text saying if I want to end it she needs to know.
Long story short: I very nearly did it but wimped out because seeing her so upset shook me to my core. But I've laid the groundwork for whenever I go through with it.
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Need big time advice... watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-04-2011 12:32
- 06-04-2011 12:40
If you don't want this, end it now.
Relationships are compromise, I don't actually live with my girlfriend but if we did I'd be like you and want my own space to my own thing occasionally. If you love her, you should set out some new foundations. Say when you want some free time and when you want to spend time together. This way she can find a hobby to keep her interested or go on a night out with her friends if you want to play on the PlayStation all night.
I wouldn't end a 2.5yr relationship because you feel a little constricted, she's already sad she's willing to give you some space. Just set out when and where that space is going to be and work your relationship around it.
- 06-04-2011 12:42
I think the question you need to ask yourself is, am I in love with my girlfriend, or do I just love her? Do you see her as your soulmate? Do you miss/think about her when she's not around? If the answer is no, then it sounds like the relationship has run its course. If you're in your late teens/early 20s then there's no rush. Some people get involved in a heavy relationship/get married too young and then later regret it. If you're really unsure, why don't you separate for a while and see how you both feel?
- 06-04-2011 14:29
I don't understand why you can't live your life as you would alone, my bf lives with me and i'll stay up all night if I want to. Why didn't you just suggest staying together but living apart... or is that what you meant?
- 06-04-2011 14:31
I love CoD as much as the next guy, but I think you need to take a step away from the control pad more than away from her.
- 06-04-2011 14:54
Lol this sounds familliar, I have been living with my gf for coming on 3 years and it takes some getting used to. You need to set up your boundries. Like for example on a sunday evening you want to play COD for 6 hours solid with no interuptions, its not going to happen haha, but you could get away with 2 hours. Relationships are about compromise. When you come to the breaking point like now, you will discover what means more to you, and just go with whatever feels right. More than likely when she is gone you will miss the constant nagging.
One of my favourite and most true phrases, absence makes the heart grow fonder