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    I'm sorry you're having a hard time :/
    You just have to suck up to those people. Give them a compliment when you walk by, you sometimes have to kiss their ass to get to the top.

    May I ask what college you're at?
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    Maybe you just need to find a different crowd. May I suggest you try chilling in Lava, wearing very few items of clothing? I'm sure you'll fit right in with the working class atmosphere this wonderful establishment creates. There will be Carlsberg aplenty. Also I regret to say it is unbecoming of a woman, especially one at Oxford University to drink Carlsberg or indeed any kind of lager. tut tut
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I think it is. I guess I've just got unlucky with the mix of people in my year and not found anyone I can really relate to or who is interested in me
    Hi lissi, please pardon my intrusion, I am new here(heck, I'm only a few minutes old here) and I didnt read the whole log because of tldr, but please don't quit Oxford

    Although, it may be hard, try to always be positive. Your outlook on whats happening around you and your thoughts really matter. Be positive and positive things will happen to you and the opposite can be true as well if u keep your negative thoughts

    Maybe reading some self-improvement books (how to win friends & influence people by Dale Carnegie ftw) or how-to-be-happy books will also help. I'm sure it's pretty easy to find those books there.

    Keep smiling and naturally you'll be happy. It's not that when you're happy then you smile. It's when you smile then you will be happy

    I'm sorry if my point has already been posted by others, but hey, it's worth to be posted once more.
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    Birmingham is still a very prestigious university (from someone who doesn't attend) - definitely leave those Oxford ***** behind.
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    You should really look into transferring colleges, they have very different personalities. Come to Brasenose, we're ridiculously friendly (because nobody cares about norrington enough to work!)

    (unless of course you're already at brasenose, in which case make yourself known to me straight away - there's loads of options and i'll be your friend )
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    (Original post by ClaireHogben)
    You should really look into transferring colleges, they have very different personalities. Come to Brasenose, we're ridiculously friendly (because nobody cares about norrington enough to work!)

    (unless of course you're already at brasenose, in which case make yourself known to me straight away - there's loads of options and i'll be your friend )
    Brasenose is full of tories.
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    Whoever negged that, it is! At the time of the cuts and fee raises protest, when we were all marching around the Rad Cam there were a bunch of idiots at Brasenose hanging signs out the window saying 'more cuts!'.
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I think societies can be a good chance to get out of college and I think its a good idea to try and join some more. But at the end of the day your main life is in college. I have to live and eat in college :/
    Hey, I have just found this post and, since it's a few months since you posted it, I'm interested to know what you decided to do?!
    It's really sad to hear that, having worked so hard to get there, you weren't enjoying Oxford. I hope things have improved for you, whatever you decided to do, since you posted this!!
    And regarding the 'daaarrnce, not dance' comment from somebody, that's bull! People from different areas of the country speak in different accents, whether they're middle or working class! So just try to ignore immature comments like that xxx
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    Come to Somerville! Everyone loves Somerville and no one is stuck up at all and everyone is so friendly. And we're allowed to sunbathe on our quad and even the tutors are relaxed.. :-)
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    My experience as an undergraduate in the first year at Oxford was similar in some respects to yours. I had no close friends, found the college (Univ) cliquey and most people difficult to relate to. I spent a lot of time on my own.

    But I did find a very small group (well, three really) of close friends towards the end of my first year and enjoyed the rest of my time at Oxford. And if there was one thing that was consistently good about my experience, even during the sometimes awful first year, it was the academic side of things. If you do value the academic aspect of Oxford I think it would be a shame not to give it a bit longer, because I do think that there is immense and unique value in an Oxbridge education - and I mean quite independently of job prospects, which for me I'm not sure were particularly enhanced by going to Oxford.

    I'm from Manchester; I say "dance" not "darnce" and am proud of where I come from. I never experienced the prejudice you have, so I think you've been unlucky to encounter such utter ****ers in your first year. But just remember that anyone who criticises your accent or what you choose to drink is a total ****er and not worth your time. Don't be afraid to tell them to go **** themselves, because that's what they deserve. Contrary to insidious popular myth, not everyone at Oxford is like that and there are definitely enough people in Oxford like you for you to make good friends if you happen to meet them. If you're friendly and sociable you already have an advantage over me!

    I hope things turn round for you and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.
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    Hello everyone!

    I have two essays in for next week and am majorly procrastinating, hence why I logged back on here and found this thread again. I decided to drop out in May last year and I can honestly say it's the best thing I've ever done. I'm studying at an amazing university in my hometown and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

    I feel like I've finally found the place where I belong and I am having the time of my life. Even though uni is very close to home, I decided to stay in halls and get the full experience. I've made a massive group of friends, I've had so many opportunities and everything is so much fun. And I'm loving my new course

    Life is so different to how it was last year and I think that anyone who is miserable at university to the point where things just cannot get any worse should have the guts to make a change because things are very likely to work out for the better!

    For a few days after I dropped out I was in complete shock at myself and fretted that I'd done the wrong thing. But after I'd calmed down I really saw that it was a weight lifted off my shoulders and I started to get so excited about my new start. I was never that excited about going to Oxford. The day I left home for there I was crying my eyes out...the week before I started this year I was bouncing round the house with excitement chatting to my new block mates on Facebook and buying fancy dress for Fresher's Week.

    My experience has showed me that there is a lot more to life then an Oxbridge education. By the time you have graduated and go into full time work your youth is really over. If you want to go to London after you've graduated, work very long and hard hours at a top firm in whatever you decide you want to do, then an Oxbridge background may well help you. And I'm not saying the financial rewards aren't great. But then you get to 50, look back on things, and think 'What have I done with my life? Well I've worked.' And by then it's too late to be young and live again. If you want to live to work, then by all means go for it and good luck to you. But if you decide that kind of thing isn't for you - like me - then whether you've been to Oxbridge or a top Russell Group uni somewhere else really isn't going to make a difference.

    I'm not going to sit and put Oxbridge down and say that my uni is great and everyone should just come there, but I think it is completely fair enough to say that it isn't for you. At my new uni I have met many people with better A level results than those I knew at Oxford, who never even contemplated applying. Or contemplated it and decided not to. Or applied and got in and decided not to take up the offer.

    When you are a sixth former deciding about what you're going to do next, I think you really have to consider whether you want Oxbridge or University. From my experience, having been there done both, they are two totally different things.

    I wanted University and that's exactly what I've got. And I know that in ten year's time I am going to look back on uni and look back on something good, the best three years of my life.
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

    I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

    Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

    It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

    I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

    I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

    Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

    But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

    I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.
    hey i'm here in oxford and it seems o.k. to me.
    what i'd say is this. i know what birmingham will be like having been to a redbrick sheffield. and i think you will find the same opinionated people there, talking the talk about this and that, as you do at oxford. so if i was you i'd stay put in oxford, a much better university, and just concentrate on your studies. and then, when you're least expecting it, i imagine you'll start making some friends.
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    (Original post by Redreynard)
    hey i'm here in oxford and it seems o.k. to me.
    what i'd say is this. i know what birmingham will be like having been to a redbrick sheffield. and i think you will find the same opinionated people there, talking the talk about this and that, as you do at oxford. so if i was you i'd stay put in oxford, a much better university, and just concentrate on your studies. and then, when you're least expecting it, i imagine you'll start making some friends.
    Sometimes it's a good idea to pay attention to dates and read beyond the first post... She dropped out in May 2011 and has only bumped her thread to tell people how things went for her afterwards.
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    (Original post by lissi08)

    My experience has showed me that there is a lot more to life then an Oxbridge education. By the time you have graduated and go into full time work your youth is really over. If you want to go to London after you've graduated, work very long and hard hours at a top firm in whatever you decide you want to do, then an Oxbridge background may well help you. And I'm not saying the financial rewards aren't great. But then you get to 50, look back on things, and think 'What have I done with my life? Well I've worked.' And by then it's too late to be young and live again. If you want to live to work, then by all means go for it and good luck to you. But if you decide that kind of thing isn't for you - like me - then whether you've been to Oxbridge or a top Russell Group uni somewhere else really isn't going to make a difference.
    I'm thrilled things have worked out for you but this is a bit patronising coming from someone in their late teens/early twenties.
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    (Original post by hobnob)
    Sometimes it's a good idea to pay attention to dates and read beyond the first post... She dropped out in May 2011 and has only bumped her thread to tell people how things went for her afterwards.

    i saw that she'd left after i'd posted. i think she made an error, but no big deal, there are many ways to live a successful life, though few routes have the cachet of oxford.
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    Just to add, the OPs original experience is definitely not typical of Oxford. You definitely do not need to be middle/upper class to have a fantastic time and make friends. I think the OP was unfortunate.

    I just don't want people seeing this thread and putting them off.
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    leave, then maybe i can take your place , just jk, but i would honestly stay, having a oxford degree title under my name would be a lot more important to me then making a few friends, and anyway, universities are big, stop talking to those people and try find some other people, maybe join a society? There's bound to be at least one person on that campus who isn't a giant ****.
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    nevermind, just read she left, huge mistake in my opinion, but it isn't the end of the world..
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    I think someone should have told her it's just her who says 'darnce' :lolwut:
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    (Original post by soutioirsim)
    Just to add, the OPs original experience is definitely not typical of Oxford. You definitely do not need to be middle/upper class to have a fantastic time and make friends. I think the OP was unfortunate.

    I just don't want people seeing this thread and putting them off.
    This, a thousand times this.
 
 
 
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