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    Could you not find some friends from oxford on TSR? i've already seen one other person saying they're also lonely, surely there are hundreds of oxford students on here willing to meet you, maybe those who are from a similar backgrond who you would gel with better... if i went there i would have certainly offered to be your friend, can't someone else?
    Happiness is certainly important
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    (Original post by shoshin)
    Sorry mann!

    I read your post a third way! I had negged the OP. Thought that you had sussed this cos of my posts, and that you had +repped the OP to counter my 'stupid neg'. Thought that 'stupid' would have been a bit strong in that context.

    Apologies, and thanks
    Ah, my bad! :rofl:

    What college are you off to btw?
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    (Original post by 098)
    Hey!!
    Don't feel alone, because I feel exactly the same way... first year at Oxford has just not been what I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be the best experience ever, and so far I have found myself doing very badly academically. Socially, I have found living in Oxford a massive culture shock- coming from a northern comprehensive, I can't quite believe how many people are from London private schools and all seemed to know each other before even reaching the college.
    I was considering dropping out- mainly because I'm not sure if I'm studying the right course- but at the same time I am really reluctant to give up something I have worked so hard to get to...
    x
    maybe you 2 can hang out, just a suggestion
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    My family knows quite a few oxbridge graduates who are now jobless and living at home. An oxbridge degree is definately not a guarantee that you will get a job, so don't worry too much about employment. Anyway, if you are clever enough to get into Oxford then chances are that you would get a very good degree from Birmingham.

    Also, university is supposed to be something that you can look back on and remember as being the best few years of your life. It is the one time when you will get to have fun away from home without having the pressures of being employed and completely independent.

    If I was in your position, I would move to Birmingham, or at least try and change colleges. But of course it's your decision.
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I phoned Birmingham up and explained my situation to the Head of Admissions. I spoke to the Senior Tutor at my college at Oxford as well. Birmingham told me to send my UCAS form and they would give me an offer. That's what I did. The reason I have to make my mind up quickly now is for Student Finance reasons.

    I'd rather not say what college but my college is one of the smallest in the university. It's very insular and people tend to just mix with each other.

    I am glad some people here don't think leaving Oxford is such a stupid idea though. I certainly had many illusions and really built up my hopes before I came. I came expecting to have the best three years of my life and to make friends easily.

    There is another boy that is quite similar to me I think but he's rusticating. I've heard the others talking about him behind his back many a time though. I think being a small college makes it really cliquey.

    There's no option for living out in second or third years.
    I really hope everything works out for you as someone said did u consider moving collages if thats possible, oxford is still oxford and why should posh/middle class idiots . I am sure you will make the right decision i just hate the thought of those arrogant people winning and please feel free to slap the next person that speaks to you like that or give them a taste of their own medicine. BEST OF LUCK
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    Why is everyone immediately jumping to the conclusion that she should leave Oxford? Try to transfer to another college at least - it could just be the atmosphere of one particular college that doesn't suit her.
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

    I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

    Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

    It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

    I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

    I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

    Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

    But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

    I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.
    On the one hand, I think leave if you want.

    BUT, they WANT you to leave - they want it to be an upper-middle-class haven! If you stay, perhaps more people like you will come, you could be helping to change Oxbridge's reputation as Snobland
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Why is everyone immediately jumping to the conclusion that she should leave Oxford? Try to transfer to another college at least - it could just be the atmosphere of one particular college that doesn't suit her.
    This
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    x
    What college might I ask?
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    I come from a similar background and I've had no problems. Please don't be put off if you are reading this!
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    You've almost finished a third of your time at Oxford. If are enjoying the degree itself, I would stay. You can have bad experiences at every university, the important thing is to take them in isolation, to try and not let them get you down. Who cares what the odd randomer says or thinks of you? Yes, at the time it can be hurtful but these things are fleeting and in ten years time I'm almost certain you'll have mostly forgotten them. You've got two years to go, if you think you can carry on and pass your exams without killing yourself, I would stay. It's a bit trite, but an Oxford degree is valuable and it will help getting a job.
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    I was attending a "great" school for an MSc and I absolutely hated it-the school, a lot of people there, the general attitude etc. I left too and I think it's the best choice I've made in my life.
    If you don't like it, and you've had bad experiences then it probably isn't right for you. You won't perform to your abilities if you hate it, so what's the point in being a alright Oxford grad, if you could be an amazing Birmingham grad? I think the name might seem super important (Oxford, Ooooh, Aaahhh, applause), but not hating your life should be more important than what some elitists might think.
    In my experience, as soon as the idea of it being alright to leave entered my mind, I was done, and as soon as I could I got out. Sometimes it's best to listen to your gut, so I suggest thinking a lot, and jumping in with both feet (whatever your decision)
    IF you think you're letting people down, you won't. If you got into Oxford you clearly have a lot going for you (academics, well-rounded all that) so you'll be successful wherever you are. Just make sure you do what's right for you: )
    So-- do what you need to to feel happy again, and get the degree you want in the process
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    I hated Cambridge but I just put up with it and finished.

    If you can do the work and get a decent degree then just bite the bullet - in the grand scheme of things 2 years is nothing. Many people only really start their lives after university.
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    If you're that unhappy, then leave. If you're unhappy, you'll be less motivated and might not end up doing as well in your degree, and there is no point in staying just to say you studied at Oxford when you can get a perfectly good degree elsewhere (Birmingham in your case) and be a lot happier.

    I was rejected by Oxford but if I'd got an offer I'd have seriously considered declining it, purely because by January this year when exams came around and I wasn't dealing with stress very well I realised that Oxford probably wouldn't have been the place for me. It's not for everyone and it looks like it might not be for you if you're really not enjoying your time there at all.
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

    I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

    Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

    It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

    I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

    I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

    Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

    But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

    I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.
    There are idiots everywhere, even at Oxford. There are nasty people in many places where you might not expect to see them. In my opinion, you will giving up something unique if you leave: for the rest of your life you will be able to tell employers/ anyone that you have a degree from Oxford.
    I understand what people on here have said about other degrees being as good etc and that you'll do better if you're happy, but I think you could still be happy if you see it a bit differently and - you don't have to socialise with stupid idiots who think they're better than they actually are.
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    I don't know if this has been suggested before but maybe talk to your tutor (or someone like that) about it and see if you can go to another college in Oxford? It's probably very unlikely but at least you can try?
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    does no one else smell troll?
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    (Original post by 21stcenturyphantom)
    I am from Yorkshire and everyone up here says words such as 'bath', 'glass', 'cast' etc. with a short 'a'. In fact, if you're in the pub and you hear someone say 'glarse' or 'baaath' for 'bath' and 'glass', then everyone in the pub knows they've got a southerner amongst them and will promptly nosy around to find the person speaking.
    Are you.....local??

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    Please stop spamming this thread. The OP is looking for serious opinions on a serious problem so constructive replies would be great
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Why is everyone immediately jumping to the conclusion that she should leave Oxford? Try to transfer to another college at least - it could just be the atmosphere of one particular college that doesn't suit her.
    Migration is very difficult and rarely possible :yes:
 
 
 
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