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    Seems strange to be honest to me; sounds as if the Carlsberg guy wasn't making fun of your class - but was either trying to chat you up very badly by trying to be cocky funny when commenting on your drink. The girl with the American was probably trying to make a joke between differences in accent and came across as a jerk - probably because her sense of humour sucks.

    But if you're unhappy you should probably leave and talk it over with friends (from home?) and family. My experience is that Oxford does change people and make snobby people more so, a lot of people have superiority/inferiority complexes and they take it out on other people. Massive generalisation but is true of some people. I do think Oxford is a very middle class place, and perhaps you might feel more at home in Birmingham - but I'd say if it's just the people that's putting you off, I'm sure you can find a range of nice people at Oxford with similar interests - try joining societies etc. If all fails, leave.

    A 1st from Birmingham is better than a mid range 2:1 from Oxford.
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    (Original post by Oldmantax)
    does no one else smell troll?
    I'm with you, see my earlier posts. It's a good one though; the OP seems to have thoroughly convinced zoedotdot, and she's the moderator.
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    Tbh, it sounds like you've made your mind up already...
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    (Original post by shoshin)
    I'm with you, see my earlier posts. It's a good one though; the OP seems to have thoroughly convinced zoedotdot, and she's the moderator.
    It's not a case of thoroughly convincing, it's more that I don't see any concrete evidence that the OP is a troll, and if they aren't then it's important that they get serious responses that aren't mixed in with loads of spam and offensive comments. And even if they are, there might be other people who are unhappy at Oxford reading this thread who do need serious advice.

    The only appropriate responses to this thread are constructive ones, which is why I requested that the spam be stopped, having already removed several posts from the thread.
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    (Original post by shoshin)
    I'm with you, see my earlier posts. It's a good one though; the OP seems to have thoroughly convinced zoedotdot, and she's the moderator.
    Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If it isn't, calling troll could be quite detrimental and the last thing the OP needs.

    I got accused of lying about my health for a whole academic year and people only started backtracking when my health exploded and no one could possibly deny it any longer. Some tutors ended up getting serious guilt complexes over that, which haven't gone even now I've left :nopity:
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    (Original post by HighestKungFu)
    Suicide rates are actually quite high at Oxford and Cambridge.
    Suicide rates in general are higher among students. Are they any higher at Oxford & Cambridge than at most other universities?
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    You should speak to your parents or someone close to you for some more advice (tutor?) but if its really getting to you leave.
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    (Original post by racello)
    This is why I hate Oxford~
    Have you ever studied at Oxford?
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    WTF??? are you out of your mind. you know how many people would love to go to oxford???....DO you know how fortunate you are to have gotten in!...and youre gonna throw all the hard work to getting in to the uni of your choice because some guy made fun of you drinking a certain beer. grow some back bone. stop thinking that uni somewhere else is better. there are thousands of students in every university...you trying to say you havent found not ONE person who you can befriend. instead of feeling miserable start joining societies, get yourself INVOLVED. what are you gonna do when you get to birmingham and you feel exactly the SAME!??..are you gonna want to switch AGAIN???....

    if you want to make friends, be friendly, be sociable. thats it. people will find it very hard to be nasty to someone nice. if groups of people are talking behind your back, then **** them...keep your head high and just move on. life is not always gonna fall perfectly on your lap. you're in one of the best universities in the world. you'll make friends eventually. dont ruin YOUR dreams because other people are trying to bring you down.

    if i were you...i would keep myself occupied...join sports teams...societies etc. you'll eventually meet like minded people. also, dont hang on too much on your highschool friends...thats probably whats holding you back. start living.

    my advice: STAY PUT

    WHATS WITH ALL THE NEG REP!!???...im soooo right. people should stop running away from problems
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

    I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

    Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

    It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

    I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

    I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

    Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

    But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

    I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.
    Drop out. There is NO point staying if you don't enjoy it!
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    See, this is why I didn't bother applying there. If some ***** said to me "it's DARNCE not DAANCE" I'd manually rip her virginity off.
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    (Original post by gigglybum)
    WTF??? are you out of your mind. you know how many people would love to go to oxford???....DO you know how fortunate you are to have gotten in!...and youre gonna throw all the hard work to getting in to the uni of your choice because some guy made fun of you drinking a certain beer. grow some back bone. stop thinking that uni somewhere else is better. there are thousands of students in every university...you trying to say you havent found not ONE person who you can befriend. instead of feeling miserable start joining societies, get yourself INVOLVED. what are you gonna do when you get to birmingham and you feel exactly the SAME!??..are you gonna want to switch AGAIN???....

    if you want to make friends, be friendly, be sociable. thats it. people will find it very hard to be nasty to someone nice. if groups of people are talking behind your back, then **** them...keep your head high and just move on. life is not always gonna fall perfectly on your lap. you're in one of the best universities in the world. you'll make friends eventually. dont ruin YOUR dreams because other people are trying to bring you down.

    if i were you...i would keep myself occupied...join sports teams...societies etc. you'll eventually meet like minded people. also, dont hang on too much on your highschool friends...thats probably whats holding you back. start living.

    my advice: STAY PUT
    Although this is harsh I agree to an extent. As a student who used to be bullied in the lower years I do understand what you're going through. I buckled up, told my bullies to **** off, I punched one of them (I'm considerably better at fighting and much fitter than most of my peers, taken kung fu for years and very athletic person. I am a nice guy I swear! ) and made an effort to talk to people. I'm now in year 13 and having the time of my life with a much bigger friendship group.
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    Quite apart from the pros and cons of going to Oxford, I'm sure that there are plenty of genuinely lovely people who you simply haven't met yet. There's 11,766 undergraduates after all. I had a hard time settling in at secondary school and yes, it can be difficult, but ask yourself if you're making as much effort to make friends as you could be (I know I wasn't!) Hang in there
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    (Original post by lissi08)
    I'm thinking about leaving Oxford.

    I've done two terms of my first year and have been unhappy from very early on. I am very lonely. I have no close friends and find my college very gossipy and cliquey. I'm friendly and sociable but most of the people in college are very indifferent to me. Some purposely choose not to include me. I find I go whole days without seeing a soul.

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world I come from and my outlook on life makes me unappealing as a friend to Oxford students. I've been brought up in a totally working-class family. I'm one of few in my family that did A Levels and the first to go on to higher education.

    Some little things that have happened are stupid but have really hurt me and knocked my confidence.
    Once I was talking to an American student about Strictly Come Dancing and a girl standing adjacent to our conversation suddenly butted in and said "In England we say DARNCE not dance."
    Another time I went to the college bar and ordered half a lager and the boy next to me rolled his eyes. He proceeded to sit down at the table I was sat at and make a speech about how girls should drink wine and how Carlsberg was the cheapest ****test drink he'd ever tasted. I've been drinking Carlsberg since I was 15 and funnily enough, I actually like the taste of it. But in saying something in situations like these maybe it just puts more people off including me rather than them realising that there is a world outside of middle-class London.

    It makes me very sad when I see my home friends at other places having the time of their life. More often now when I phone them they are always too busy for a chat. I feel like I am relying on them and they don't really need me any more.

    I am getting more and more depressed and downheared and I wish I had never applied to Oxford. Because once I got in I felt I couldn't possibly turn it down.

    I made a few phonecalls and I have a place at the University of Birmingham if I want it.

    Being honest with myself I know I would be much happier in the completely different atmosphere at Birmingham.

    But at the back of my mind...and my parents... is job prospects. People are telling me no matter how miserable I am I can't drop out because its oxford.

    I'm running out of time to tell Birmingham if I want the place. I have absolutely hated the time I have spent at Oxford but for job reasons only am hesitant to firm Birmingham. I don't know what to do.
    I still find it incredible that people take our academic system seriously. Even right wing tories like david willets understand that the education system flatters the middle classes. Thats why so many so many superficially clever ,but actually thick people get into oxbridge. In real terms you as a working -class person probably have needed twice the ability to get your oxbridge place. That is why you are surrounded by stupid people ,who despite a 'good'education are still driven by prejudice rather than rationality.Worryingly this crew will be running our governments and institutions in a few years. Even if they follow a career in labour politics they will secretly despise their own constituency (gordon brown's desrciption of a decent working-class woman as 'some kind of bigot 'was most revealing). Don't forget that many oxbridge colleges were set up by genuinely philanthropic people to educate the poor,but the middle class have an eye for an opportunity ,that is what gets them up the nasty ladder of ambition.
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    Forget the posh toffs, go to birmingham and enjoy yourself!
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    Graduating from Oxford won't do too much for your future if you finish with a poor degree classification, which is very possible if you're miserable and not enjoying your study environment.

    Well done for getting there in the first place, but if you're unhappy then you've got to look out for yourself and make a decision.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If it isn't, calling troll could be quite detrimental and the last thing the OP needs.

    I got accused of lying about my health for a whole academic year and people only started backtracking when my health exploded and no one could possibly deny it any longer. Some tutors ended up getting serious guilt complexes over that, which haven't gone even now I've left :nopity:
    I'm not sure that there is a very strong logical connection between your first paragraph and your second one. But if it really is that serious a matter to be wrongly accused of trolling, then I unreservedly withdraw any such insinuation and apologise to the OP.

    The OP is brand new to TSR, but I now look forward (being from a similar background, and heading for a similar Oxford college) to reading many future posts from her, as her situation progresses.
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    (Original post by shoshin)
    The OP is brand new to TSR, but I now look forward (being from a similar background, and heading for a similar Oxford college) to reading many future posts from her, as her situation progresses.
    Often you do see people making an account to ask a specific question, reading all the responses and then never returning because they've gone off to handle their problem and have then forgotten all about TSR. It's not unusual in Oxbridge anyhow

    Also, I wouldn't be too worried about heading off in a similar situation to a similar college. Different people respond differently to the same situation, and of course you will have a different intake in your year even if it is the same college. It's probable that you will have an entirely different experience. I have several northern friends from comprehensives (and I am from a comprehensive myself) and I've never experienced or seen this kind of thing at my medium sized Cambridge college. I would say that the OP's experience is more the regrettable exception than the rule
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    It certainloy sounds like there are some very immature snobbish people at your college. I've met some very nice people who went to Oxford & I'm sure there are people you'd get on with better.

    Are theer any ways you can try to meet other people outside the cliques of your college? Any sports or interests you have that could help you make friends outside?
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    (Original post by MagicNMedicine)
    Are you.....local??

    That program used to scare me when I was younger. :eek:
 
 
 
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