Guys : ONS with a virgin ?

Of course, if you want you can of course find justifications for anything. Not very good ones. You'll be wrong a lot of the time.

And you were. Finances - Not really. Cooking - Not really. Cleaning - not really. Ugly - No.

You were arguing that just because self control would make you better at a job, didn't mean it would make you good at keeping a girlfriend, or being loving. Which I agree with. Having poor self control has its advantages.

Lol, trust me, it's not worth it. It'd be painful even if you got it in.

Haha, nice stereotype. People who stereotype don't know many interesting people. You dirty stereotyper.

Ah, lack of empathy, got ya.

And you're arguing promiscuous people have good self control.

I knew a girl once. She said she couldn't be raped because there was never a time when she didn't want to have sex. Now, while that's wonderful for you, it shows poor self control. There are many reasons you might not want to have sex.

Ok, so we agree, selection criteria are good.

Yeah, I make sure I have multiple data points before I make a stereotype.

Ah, so older men have called you mature. That's a common ploy. Younger girls like to be older. It doesn't actually mean you're more mature. It's like a guy calling a girl the most beautiful woman in the world. He doesn't actually think that. If Megan Fox or whoever dropped in he'd happily split. It's a seduction tactic to get into your pants.

Having sex doesn't show poor self control though

Or it may just show a high sex drive? If I was in a relationship with someone, I highly doubt he'd be able to 'rape' me. Rape requires the victim to be unwilling. However if it was a random stranger, it could be rape.

It wasn't a stereotype, I was merely summising that if all the people you know act in a similar way, you can't know that many interesting and diverse people.

How is that a lack of empathy? It's not hard to use a damn condom.

Lol, many people, male and female have called me mature. I look and act a lot older than my actual age, so many people assume I'm older than I am.

Also again, you're stereotyping. What's beautiful for one person may be grossly hideous for another. My ex thought Cheryl Cole was unattractive (and I would have to agree) but many others think she's hot. Personal preference, my friend.

That's the thing. I was talking about self control in the context of it being used for school work, cleaning, cooking. If you can't actually say no, if you can't be unwilling, that's likely to impact your grade. That means you'll have a better social life, which is important to many, but it means your self control is weak.

I know how a lot of different sorts of people act. But I've met enough people that even interesting and diverse people have commonalities. There are only so many ways to behave.

It helps a lot. I know if I'm falling for someone. I can see the signs of love in another, I can see the signs of lust. I can tell what's attractive about a girl in terms of her behaviour, and that gives me better resilience against cheating. I can tell when I'm boring a woman and know how to be more exciting.

The lack of empathy was in not understanding why someone would disagree with you.

Knew it.

Yes, but do you seriously think you are the most beautiful woman in the world? Your guy has his preferences, and he will have sought out his preference. If you go for older guys he'll have had a lot of time to seek out his preference. There's a good chance he'll have dated people prettier than you, by his standards whatever they may be, and that he will consciously compare your looks to his ex. He'll still call you the most beautiful woman in the world. Just as he called her that.

That is incidentally why a lot of people prefer virgins. The continual comparisons with other guys is frustrating, especially since people tend to remember the best pasts of the past and see the worst parts of the present.

So having sex will make me less able to get goos grades? Not really. If I have an hour of spare time, it doesn't matter whether I spend it going for a meal or having sex really, does it.

I stand by what I said, you know people who all behave in a similar way. I know may people who aren't like that, they're all different. Hence my point.

I don't have a problem with someone disagreeing with me, more that you're using made up statistics.

So? He'll have dated girls uglier than me too. I don't give a damn if I'm compared to someone's ex, because he's with me and not them.

I think that's ridiculously shallow. Obviously people will remember past relationships, but nowhere would I ever think "Oh damn I wish my ex was in my bed now instead of my actual boyfriend :/" There's a reason that relationship failed, exes are exes for a good reason. So whether or not I am a virgin shouldn't be a deciding factor.

And as for 'knew it', what's wrong with the fact that i act older? I simply don't like the things people my own age are meant to. I'm not going to do what I should do based on age.

Well, you need to do both. If you start missing meals your boobs will go away and you won't be able to have sex because he won't like your anorexia ravanged body.

I know different people like you do, I just understand why they act different and what those differences mean.

Stereotypes which have gotten results. I can't prove that I got results to you, but it's looking pretty good from my perspective. Behaviour which utterly confused me when I was 15 is natural to me now.

Haha, touchy. I didn't actually ask you whether you cared, you brought it up. You're clearly quite touchy about that issue. Understandably. He's with you in body, but he's with her in mind.

There's a reason you dated those exes. They had a spark for you, chemistry, something special which you loved. You'll have amazing memories with them, no matter how crap it was at the end. They may have actually been better in bed than your current boyfriend.

Also, I often find that women love their first more than any other lover. A lot have said that to me. Their first true love is the one they always remember, who they compare every lover to.

ve certainly noted it in every past relationship I've been in. I consciously chose to avoid that drama. It's dull.

You're talking about maturity in terms of interests. Which people will compliment you on. The problem is that a lot of maturity is based on pure life experience. You meet a lot of people and see a lot of crap situations and you gain a better idea of what normally happens in the world.

Your thought, say, that you've never wished that a different lover was in bed with you. Give it time. It'll happen.

Are you dense or just a troll? I wasn't suggesting missing meals, I was replacing sex with another event I could do in it's place.

You clearly don't, as you think everyone is the same.

You broght it up by saying "he'll have dated girls prettier than you", I was simply saying that it doesn't matter. So what if he has? It really doesn't mean anything.

Yeah and I have memories with them. Doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or get back with them. Oh and he can learn.

Can't comment as I've only 'loved' one person. I'm attracted to others just as strongly though, and I don't see why I'd love anyone any less.

So you only date virgins? Doube standard there.

You don't know what's happened in my life though. I've had to deal with things that many middle-age adults have not experienced. Hence why I said you can't generalise by age.

Doubt it, as the fact that I'm spending time with someone I love is the best thing about it.

I respect your beliefs and that but really, what's the point in not having sex until marriage? Would you buy a car without a test drive?

Also being a virgin or not doesn't change who the person is. If you meet a fantastic girl who you're really compatible with, you enjoy her company, find her attractive etc...would you really say no just because she's had sex? In this day and age, a lot of people are do not wait until marriage. Whilst I personally wouldn't engage in casual sex, I really don't see the issue of having sex when you're in a relationship.

Mostly I just don't care enough to argue this point. Sex and romance are incredibly distracting, and attrocious for your self control. This is a point I know from experience. If you don't know that, well, nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise.

Everyone is similar to someone else. People tend to make a lot of the same mistakes and similar moves. If you don't grasp that you can use past experience to predict the future, I can't really argue you into it.

I dunno, if you're like most girls of this facebook age, you'll have a pretty decent ego. It'll be a pretty big spike when he whistfully says he misses her, or says that she was better in bed. This is something that has to be experienced to be believed.

Experience is necessary. Interesting that you're arguing with me about something of which you have little or no knowledge. Standard of the internet.

Big shock, the world has different standards for men and women.

You've not experienced the rather obvious life experience that teaches a lot, a second lover.



Someone is pretty new to love.

Because sex is more than a penis inside a vagina; it's an ultimate expression of love and passion that comes from deep trust. I only want to give that to one person and frankly, yes, I would expect them to only give that to me and it would play a big part of whether I was with someone or not. I need to test drive a car to make sure it works, I don't need to test drive someone to love them - I either do or don't, sex isn't going to change that.

Someone would have to be extremely special for me to ignore that they had given the ultimate expression of love to someone else, so special that I don't actually know what quality would overcome it for me. Yeah, I probably would say no unless they had this magical quality.

well virginity quite a big thing to lose

No it really isn't, people get so ****ing hyped up about it.

Yes it really is. The first time you have sex is a big moment....

Not for me it wasn't.