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    In all seriousness, I wouldn't do it with someone who had done it with someone else.

    I get jealous waaay too easily.
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    If you're not bothered, dont bother telling the guy. Then it can't go wrong on his part
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    You think most students believe they are clean, good with finances, and good at cooking.

    Hahahaha. Yeah, likely.

    Of course, if you want you can of course find justifications for anything. Not very good ones. You'll be wrong a lot of the time. That's why you need to pick up on small details, if you want to be accurate.

    Also, note- losing self control on the weekends is still a sign of poor self control. You can manage it, but it's not likely to make studying and working any easier.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Of course, if you want you can of course find justifications for anything. Not very good ones. You'll be wrong a lot of the time.
    And you were. Finances - Not really. Cooking - Not really. Cleaning - not really. Ugly - No.


    I think it's cool you can do it convincingly, but at least be up front with what you do.
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    (Original post by Svenjamin)
    And you were. Finances - Not really. Cooking - Not really. Cleaning - not really. Ugly - No.
    She's not in debt (as opposed to a lot of students who pay off credit cards with credit cards), she's good at cooking everything she likes (as opposed to a lot who love to eat out), and she didn't define lived in so I'm honestly not sure how tidy she is, though I could be wrong about that. I was pretty close. I'm quite happy with the success of my guesses.

    I was vague with the appearance thing. I didn't call her ugly because, I really don't know enough to say. I knew she had to be somewhere on the scale where hoards of men wouldn't come for her.
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    I wouldn't mind but you're a bit old for me. legal isn't fun.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    You were arguing that just because self control would make you better at a job, didn't mean it would make you good at keeping a girlfriend, or being loving. Which I agree with. Having poor self control has its advantages.
    Having sex doesn't show poor self control though.



    Lol, trust me, it's not worth it. It'd be painful even if you got it in.
    We weren't talking about how much **** women can take.

    Haha, nice stereotype. People who stereotype don't know many interesting people. You dirty stereotyper.
    It wasn't a stereotype, I was merely summising that if all the people you know act in a similar way, you can't know that many interesting and diverse people.


    Ah, lack of empathy, got ya.
    How is that a lack of empathy? It's not hard to use a damn condom.

    And you're arguing promiscuous people have good self control.
    No, I'm arguing that having sex doesn't equal a lack of self control. Having sex with your partner isn't promiscuity.

    I knew a girl once. She said she couldn't be raped because there was never a time when she didn't want to have sex. Now, while that's wonderful for you, it shows poor self control. There are many reasons you might not want to have sex.
    Or it may just show a high sex drive? :rolleyes: If I was in a relationship with someone, I highly doubt he'd be able to 'rape' me. Rape requires the victim to be unwilling. However if it was a random stranger, it could be rape.


    Ok, so we agree, selection criteria are good.

    Yeah, I make sure I have multiple data points before I make a stereotype.
    Well at least that's something.

    Ah, so older men have called you mature. That's a common ploy. Younger girls like to be older. It doesn't actually mean you're more mature. It's like a guy calling a girl the most beautiful woman in the world. He doesn't actually think that. If Megan Fox or whoever dropped in he'd happily split. It's a seduction tactic to get into your pants.
    Lol, many people, male and female have called me mature. I look and act a lot older than my actual age, so many people assume I'm older than I am.

    Also again, you're stereotyping. What's beautiful for one person may be grossly hideous for another. My ex thought Cheryl Cole was unattractive (and I would have to agree) but many others think she's hot. Personal preference, my friend.

    [/QUOTE]
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    Having sex doesn't show poor self control though
    Or it may just show a high sex drive? :rolleyes: If I was in a relationship with someone, I highly doubt he'd be able to 'rape' me. Rape requires the victim to be unwilling. However if it was a random stranger, it could be rape.
    That's the thing. I was talking about self control in the context of it being used for school work, cleaning, cooking. If you can't actually say no, if you can't be unwilling, that's likely to impact your grade. That means you'll have a better social life, which is important to many, but it means your self control is weak.

    It wasn't a stereotype, I was merely summising that if all the people you know act in a similar way, you can't know that many interesting and diverse people.
    I know how a lot of different sorts of people act. But I've met enough people that even interesting and diverse people have commonalities. There are only so many ways to behave.

    It helps a lot. I know if I'm falling for someone. I can see the signs of love in another, I can see the signs of lust. I can tell what's attractive about a girl in terms of her behaviour, and that gives me better resilience against cheating. I can tell when I'm boring a woman and know how to be more exciting.

    How is that a lack of empathy? It's not hard to use a damn condom.
    The lack of empathy was in not understanding why someone would disagree with you.

    Lol, many people, male and female have called me mature. I look and act a lot older than my actual age, so many people assume I'm older than I am.

    Also again, you're stereotyping. What's beautiful for one person may be grossly hideous for another. My ex thought Cheryl Cole was unattractive (and I would have to agree) but many others think she's hot. Personal preference, my friend.
    Knew it.

    Yes, but do you seriously think you are the most beautiful woman in the world? Your guy has his preferences, and he will have sought out his preference. If you go for older guys he'll have had a lot of time to seek out his preference. There's a good chance he'll have dated people prettier than you, by his standards whatever they may be, and that he will consciously compare your looks to his ex. He'll still call you the most beautiful woman in the world. Just as he called her that.

    That is incidentally why a lot of people prefer virgins. The continual comparisons with other guys is frustrating, especially since people tend to remember the best pasts of the past and see the worst parts of the present.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    That's the thing. I was talking about self control in the context of it being used for school work, cleaning, cooking. If you can't actually say no, if you can't be unwilling, that's likely to impact your grade. That means you'll have a better social life, which is important to many, but it means your self control is weak.
    So having sex will make me less able to get goos grades? Not really. If I have an hour of spare time, it doesn't matter whether I spend it going for a meal or having sex really, does it.


    I know how a lot of different sorts of people act. But I've met enough people that even interesting and diverse people have commonalities. There are only so many ways to behave.

    It helps a lot. I know if I'm falling for someone. I can see the signs of love in another, I can see the signs of lust. I can tell what's attractive about a girl in terms of her behaviour, and that gives me better resilience against cheating. I can tell when I'm boring a woman and know how to be more exciting.
    :facepalm2: I stand by what I said, you know people who all behave in a similar way. I know may people who aren't like that, they're all different. Hence my point.


    The lack of empathy was in not understanding why someone would disagree with you.
    I don't have a problem with someone disagreeing with me, more that you're using made up statistics.


    Knew it.

    Yes, but do you seriously think you are the most beautiful woman in the world? Your guy has his preferences, and he will have sought out his preference. If you go for older guys he'll have had a lot of time to seek out his preference. There's a good chance he'll have dated people prettier than you, by his standards whatever they may be, and that he will consciously compare your looks to his ex. He'll still call you the most beautiful woman in the world. Just as he called her that.
    So? He'll have dated girls uglier than me too. I don't give a damn if I'm compared to someone's ex, because he's with me and not them.
    That is incidentally why a lot of people prefer virgins. The continual comparisons with other guys is frustrating, especially since people tend to remember the best pasts of the past and see the worst parts of the present.
    I think that's ridiculously shallow. Obviously people will remember past relationships, but nowhere would I ever think "Oh damn I wish my ex was in my bed now instead of my actual boyfriend :/" There's a reason that relationship failed, exes are exes for a good reason. So whether or not I am a virgin shouldn't be a deciding factor.

    And as for 'knew it', what's wrong with the fact that i act older? I simply don't like the things people my own age are meant to. I'm not going to do what I should do based on age.
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    So having sex will make me less able to get goos grades? Not really. If I have an hour of spare time, it doesn't matter whether I spend it going for a meal or having sex really, does it.
    Well, you need to do both. If you start missing meals your boobs will go away and you won't be able to have sex because he won't like your anorexia ravanged body.

    :facepalm2: I stand by what I said, you know people who all behave in a similar way. I know may people who aren't like that, they're all different. Hence my point.
    I know different people like you do, I just understand why they act different and what those differences mean.

    I don't have a problem with someone disagreeing with me, more that you're using made up statistics.
    Stereotypes which have gotten results. I can't prove that I got results to you, but it's looking pretty good from my perspective. Behaviour which utterly confused me when I was 15 is natural to me now.

    So? He'll have dated girls uglier than me too. I don't give a damn if I'm compared to someone's ex, because he's with me and not them.
    Haha, touchy. I didn't actually ask you whether you cared, you brought it up. You're clearly quite touchy about that issue. Understandably. He's with you in body, but he's with her in mind.

    I think that's ridiculously shallow. Obviously people will remember past relationships, but nowhere would I ever think "Oh damn I wish my ex was in my bed now instead of my actual boyfriend :/" There's a reason that relationship failed, exes are exes for a good reason. So whether or not I am a virgin shouldn't be a deciding factor.
    There's a reason you dated those exes. They had a spark for you, chemistry, something special which you loved. You'll have amazing memories with them, no matter how crap it was at the end. They may have actually been better in bed than your current boyfriend.

    Also, I often find that women love their first more than any other lover. A lot have said that to me. Their first true love is the one they always remember, who they compare every lover to.

    I've certainly noted it in every past relationship I've been in. I consciously chose to avoid that drama. It's dull.

    And as for 'knew it', what's wrong with the fact that i act older? I simply don't like the things people my own age are meant to. I'm not going to do what I should do based on age.
    You're talking about maturity in terms of interests. Which people will compliment you on. The problem is that a lot of maturity is based on pure life experience. You meet a lot of people and see a lot of crap situations and you gain a better idea of what normally happens in the world.

    Your thought, say, that you've never wished that a different lover was in bed with you. Give it time. It'll happen.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Well, you need to do both. If you start missing meals your boobs will go away and you won't be able to have sex because he won't like your anorexia ravanged body.
    Are you dense or just a troll? I wasn't suggesting missing meals, I was replacing sex with another event I could do in it's place.



    I know different people like you do, I just understand why they act different and what those differences mean.
    You clearly don't, as you think everyone is the same.


    Stereotypes which have gotten results. I can't prove that I got results to you, but it's looking pretty good from my perspective. Behaviour which utterly confused me when I was 15 is natural to me now.
    That doesn't really make sense.

    Haha, touchy. I didn't actually ask you whether you cared, you brought it up. You're clearly quite touchy about that issue. Understandably. He's with you in body, but he's with her in mind.
    You broght it up by saying "he'll have dated girls prettier than you", I was simply saying that it doesn't matter. So what if he has? It really doesn't mean anything.

    There's a reason you dated those exes. They had a spark for you, chemistry, something special which you loved. You'll have amazing memories with them, no matter how crap it was at the end. They may have actually been better in bed than your current boyfriend.
    Yeah and I have memories with them. Doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or get back with them. Oh and he can learn.

    Also, I often find that women love their first more than any other lover. A lot have said that to me. Their first true love is the one they always remember, who they compare every lover to.
    Can't comment as I've only 'loved' one person. I'm attracted to others just as strongly though, and I don't see why I'd love anyone any less.
    I'
    ve certainly noted it in every past relationship I've been in. I consciously chose to avoid that drama. It's dull.
    So you only date virgins? Doube standard there.


    You're talking about maturity in terms of interests. Which people will compliment you on. The problem is that a lot of maturity is based on pure life experience. You meet a lot of people and see a lot of crap situations and you gain a better idea of what normally happens in the world.
    You don't know what's happened in my life though. I've had to deal with things that many middle-age adults have not experienced. Hence why I said you can't generalise by age.

    Your thought, say, that you've never wished that a different lover was in bed with you. Give it time. It'll happen.
    Doubt it, as the fact that I'm spending time with someone I love is the best thing about it.
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    Are you dense or just a troll? I wasn't suggesting missing meals, I was replacing sex with another event I could do in it's place.
    Mostly I just don't care enough to argue this point. Sex and romance are incredibly distracting, and attrocious for your self control. This is a point I know from experience. If you don't know that, well, nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise.

    You clearly don't, as you think everyone is the same.
    Everyone is similar to someone else. People tend to make a lot of the same mistakes and similar moves. If you don't grasp that you can use past experience to predict the future, I can't really argue you into it.

    You broght it up by saying "he'll have dated girls prettier than you", I was simply saying that it doesn't matter. So what if he has? It really doesn't mean anything.
    I dunno, if you're like most girls of this facebook age, you'll have a pretty decent ego. It'll be a pretty big spike when he whistfully says he misses her, or says that she was better in bed. This is something that has to be experienced to be believed.

    Yeah and I have memories with them. Doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or get back with them. Oh and he can learn.

    Can't comment as I've only 'loved' one person. I'm attracted to others just as strongly though, and I don't see why I'd love anyone any less.
    Experience is necessary. Interesting that you're arguing with me about something of which you have little or no knowledge. Standard of the internet.

    So you only date virgins? Doube standard there.
    Big shock, the world has different standards for men and women.

    You don't know what's happened in my life though. I've had to deal with things that many middle-age adults have not experienced. Hence why I said you can't generalise by age.
    You've not experienced the rather obvious life experience that teaches a lot, a second lover.

    Doubt it, as the fact that I'm spending time with someone I love is the best thing about it.
    Someone is pretty new to love.
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    (Original post by .Ali.)
    I respect your beliefs and that but really, what's the point in not having sex until marriage? Would you buy a car without a test drive?

    Also being a virgin or not doesn't change who the person is. If you meet a fantastic girl who you're really compatible with, you enjoy her company, find her attractive etc...would you really say no just because she's had sex? In this day and age, a lot of people are do not wait until marriage. Whilst I personally wouldn't engage in casual sex, I really don't see the issue of having sex when you're in a relationship.
    Because sex is more than a penis inside a vagina; it's an ultimate expression of love and passion that comes from deep trust. I only want to give that to one person and frankly, yes, I would expect them to only give that to me and it would play a big part of whether I was with someone or not. I need to test drive a car to make sure it works, I don't need to test drive someone to love them - I either do or don't, sex isn't going to change that.

    Someone would have to be extremely special for me to ignore that they had given the ultimate expression of love to someone else, so special that I don't actually know what quality would overcome it for me. :dontknow: Yeah, I probably would say no unless they had this magical quality.
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    I'd be pretty pissed if i had a ONS with a girl who turned out to be a virgin, ONS is not for holding back and i'm not the type to inflict more pain than necessary :no:
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Mostly I just don't care enough to argue this point. Sex and romance are incredibly distracting, and attrocious for your self control. This is a point I know from experience. If you don't know that, well, nothing I say is going to convince you otherwise.
    No it isn't. Sorry but you're wrong, I don't know what else to say. You're basically saying people shouldn't have relationships because they're distacting, which is utter bull. Should I not play sports because it's 'distracting' too?



    Everyone is similar to someone else. People tend to make a lot of the same mistakes and similar moves. If you don't grasp that you can use past experience to predict the future, I can't really argue you into it.
    You can use some experiences as a base, but not as a solid judgement. Personally I look at each person indicidually.


    I dunno, if you're like most girls of this facebook age, you'll have a pretty decent ego. It'll be a pretty big spike when he whistfully says he misses her, or says that she was better in bed. This is something that has to be experienced to be believed.
    Well it depends, if he'd rather be with her than with me, I'd question the relationship. However if he just occasionally thinks of her or still has memories, so what? If she was a sex godess, so what? There are things I remember about my exes, and I'm sure they'll have things they were better at than anyone else I date as well as things they were worse at, but it doesn't mean I want them back.


    Experience is necessary. Interesting that you're arguing with me about something of which you have little or no knowledge. Standard of the internet.
    I've been in more than one relationship but I've only loved one person. I was under the impression we were on about relationships.

    Big shock, the world has different standards for men and women.
    Which is outdated and quite frankly, ridiculous. If a man can sleep around, I should be able to. If you want your girl to be a virgin until marriage, you should be a virgin until marriage. Any man who tries to tell me he can do something and I can't would be dumped.


    You've not experienced the rather obvious life experience that teaches a lot, a second lover.



    Someone is pretty new to love.
    Again, I said I've only loved one person, not that I've only been in a relationship with one person.
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    (Original post by BigBonsaiGuy)
    Because sex is more than a penis inside a vagina; it's an ultimate expression of love and passion that comes from deep trust. I only want to give that to one person and frankly, yes, I would expect them to only give that to me and it would play a big part of whether I was with someone or not. I need to test drive a car to make sure it works, I don't need to test drive someone to love them - I either do or don't, sex isn't going to change that.
    So you wouldn't like that someone could have loved someone else before you?

    Someone would have to be extremely special for me to ignore that they had given the ultimate expression of love to someone else, so special that I don't actually know what quality would overcome it for me. :dontknow: Yeah, I probably would say no unless they had this magical quality.
    Fair enough really, I don't personally agree but each to their own. At least you don't have the double standard some men do - "I'll sleep around but when I settle down, she must be a virgin." :facepalm2:
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    (Original post by rugbyladosc)
    well virginity quite a big thing to lose
    No it really isn't, people get so ****ing hyped up about it.
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    (Original post by imperial maniac)
    No it really isn't, people get so ****ing hyped up about it.
    Yes it really is. The first time you have sex is a big moment....
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    (Original post by rugbyladosc)
    Yes it really is. The first time you have sex is a big moment....
    Not for me it wasn't.
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    (Original post by imperial maniac)
    Not for me it wasn't.
    Difference of opinion then. It was big for me but not for her, I wish i had waited...
 
 
 
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