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what would you HONESTLY think if you saw self harm scars? watch

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    Hm. This thread has now shown me that I really need to start wearing long sleeve tops/cardigans and jackets - I'm now bloody worried about what people must think!

    Though what I've got isn't very obvious. Just three silvery scars on me forearm... I don't tend to cut myself so much as do other things.

    Self-harming certainly isn't weak by the way - I'd like to see one of you go through what I have without breaking down in some way. An eight page email from your father telling you that he and your mother had a bad sex life (going into details over when they last had sex, for example), sent to you whilst you are in the midst of sitting your higher exams at school, doesn't exactly lead to mental stability.

    Email is just the start of it by the way - I've gone through things that even a trained therapist said was too complex for him to help me with.
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    I would think

    kinkyyy

    that sh!t would make my blick **** shoot outa ma pants!!!
    • #9
    #9

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what would you HONESTLY think if you saw self harm scars on someone? Please don't sugar-coat things, I want honest opinions on if you saw obvious self harm scars (I'm talking lots of white faded scars with a few still very red, quite big and recent ones on top) on someone.

    If you guys want to be really helpful please say what your reaction would be on:
    - a stranger
    - a friend
    - a friend's girl/boyfriend
    - a family member
    If these different people provoke different reactions.

    Thanks.

    Stranger: I'd feel sorry for them
    A friend: I'd start to talk to them more to try and make a difference to help them.
    A friends GF/BF: Help the friend to help them.
    Family member: Same as the friend
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    - a stranger - wonder what the story was behind it, but not help. Even though it sounds mean.

    - a friend - Ask what was going on. If its an obvious place and its just attention seeking I'd ignore them afterwards, but I'd have to check first and make sure everything was ok.

    - a friend's girl/boyfriend - Tell my friend to watch out for it.

    - a family member - Ask. The family members I have aren't particularly close (I'm thinking cousins here) so I imagine it would be quite nice for them to talk to somebody about it who is family but unbiased (as I have a history of it too - and worse - but i've got through it and put it behind me, so could give opinions)
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    (Original post by daisydaffodil)
    Hm. This thread has now shown me that I really need to start wearing long sleeve tops/cardigans and jackets - I'm now bloody worried about what people must think!

    Though what I've got isn't very obvious. Just three silvery scars on me forearm... I don't tend to cut myself so much as do other things.

    Self-harming certainly isn't weak by the way - I'd like to see one of you go through what I have without breaking down in some way. An eight page email from your father telling you that he and your mother had a bad sex life (going into details over when they last had sex, for example), sent to you whilst you are in the midst of sitting your higher exams at school, doesn't exactly lead to mental stability.

    Email is just the start of it by the way - I've gone through things that even a trained therapist said was too complex for him to help me with.
    Oh honestly, DO NOT pay attention to the arses on here.

    Three silvery scars on your arm is nothing to worry about. Seriously.

    A very small minority of people are complete DOUCHES (yes I am talking to you haters in this thread), but the majority of people simply do not care one way or another.

    Mind if I ask what other things you do? I did some pretty weird stuff to try and deal. PM me if you'd like.
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    If it was really self harm, I qould think they are attention seekers tbh.

    (Original post by Livesindreams)
    Honestly I don't really care if it's a stranger, I may have the occasionally 'wow they must be strong to get through what they did.'
    lol
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    - a stranger
    None of my business. Attention seeking would be my first thought(or formerly attention seeking, for old scards).
    - a friend
    I'd ask.
    - a friend's girl/boyfriend
    Wouldn't care.
    - a family member
    Nah.

    I have this scar on my hand from when i broke a glass when i was little. Looks like a cutter's scar. I used to freak out the little girls in highschool who wanted to cut for attention by telling them some goofy story about permanent marks. I like to think I helped. Then some classmate showed up with GOTHIKA carved on her arm, so I just quit trying)


    (on a side-note, People apparently thought I was cutting for a long time. No one asked till some chick yelled at me for making fun of her "since i cut too". I was baffled and explained about my rather vicious cat that really liked scratching my arms to wake me up in the morning. No one believed me, but it was true=(. )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what would you HONESTLY think if you saw self harm scars on someone? Please don't sugar-coat things, I want honest opinions on if you saw obvious self harm scars (I'm talking lots of white faded scars with a few still very red, quite big and recent ones on top) on someone.

    If you guys want to be really helpful please say what your reaction would be on:
    - a stranger
    - a friend
    - a friend's girl/boyfriend
    - a family member
    If these different people provoke different reactions.

    Thanks.
    A stranger: Wow, they must be going through something really bad. I feel for them.
    A friend: I'd like to help them and let them know I'm here for them, and maybe help them find new ways of coping.
    A friend's partner: Depends how close I was to the friend and their partner, if close the same as the friend, if not close, the same as the stranger.
    A family member: The same as the friend.

    No one should judge anyone for having self harm scars, and if they do they're not worth it. People who do are ignorant and have no idea. I used to suffer from clinical depression, so I don't judge anyone on mental illness/episodes. I look at the person and not the label.
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    OP (and other people who have scars) why do you care? Seriously, the people who you care about/who care about you probably either already know or will accept it, everyone else can do one!

    If you've lived through self-harming it's an achievement, you shouldn't have to hide a part of yourself like that for fear of what people who don't matter to you might think. Get your tank tops out this summer!

    Also, well done for stopping
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    (Original post by mother_eve3088)
    Oh honestly, DO NOT pay attention to the arses on here.

    Three silvery scars on your arm is nothing to worry about. Seriously.

    A very small minority of people are complete DOUCHES (yes I am talking to you haters in this thread), but the majority of people simply do not care one way or another.

    Mind if I ask what other things you do? I did some pretty weird stuff to try and deal. PM me if you'd like.
    I, um bite myself. which probably sounds odd! Usually bite all the skin around my nails. Then my wrists/arms til I draw blood. Horrible - I get horrible nightmares and wake up doing it! If not biting I've burnt myself with my straightners, or I binge eat til I feel ill. It takes the focus away from the immediate situation, gives me something I am control, lets me punish myself for not being good enough, and it makes people notice me. I'm not invisible. It lets me externalise everything I feel inside without having to speak. Creative writing has a similar effect.
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    If it was a stranger, I'd wonder what was wrong to make them do that, but move on because I don't know them.
    If it was a friend of mine (close?) then I'd find a way to talk to them about it, be as sensative as I can and try my best to be there for them, because I've been there and done that.

    People say they hate it when people do it because it's "attention seeking". This is true to a certain extent, but that's not a reason to NOT pay attention! Often it's a cry for help, with the indivdual half hoping someone will care enough to ask "how'd you get that cut? Are you ok?"... It is a sign of something much deeper going on and it's quite mean to think badly of people who hurt themselves.
    I used to cut myself, but I seem to have stopped more recently. I also pull out my hair (still do) when I'm stressed out, I don't even realise I'm donig it sometimes.
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    (Original post by Livesindreams)
    I mean in the sense of being able to stop. For any addiction being able to stop takes a lot of strength.
    o.k. if you have strength, a good idea to use it to stop destructive behaviour. because destructive behaviour is ... destructive. which is why animals, who are i think mentally sturdier than humans, do not self-harm - not unless under very severe psychic distress.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok so the general view is that I'm attention seeking.

    Just to clarify this, to me people who self harm for attention tend to do shallow cuts, nothing too serious (a generalisation I know but just my experience), I was just wondering if the self harm you saw was quite bad, like very deep very long cuts, that required stitches, therefore resulting in a great deal of wide, long scars one on top of another would you still believe someone would do that to themselves for attention?
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    (Original post by Ich Dien)
    Why?
    I wish I could be that poetic, but the memories I have of self harmers are more like :eek:



    Okay. Il wait until you get clinical depression and then abuse you for it.
    Dont be so insensitive.
    i don't mean to sound like a jerk but tbh i can't understand why anyone would do that - obviously suicide is different though.
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    Wouldn't care a less if I fancied the girl that much, each to their own etc etc!!
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    I once saw similar scars on someone I knew and I made sure that they got help for it - as far as I know, they stopped.

    inb4 neg rep, but self-harm is one of the things which I find really, really horrible to think about. It's completely irrational I know but I find it unpleasant just imagining it. I'm not saying for one minute that is what most people would think, it's just a personal thing.
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    My friend's cat went crazy on me last year and scratched my left arm from just above my elbow to my wrist. People get concerned and think I cut myself :s
    I'm really getting tired of people asking me if anything's bothering me -_-
    The wound faded but there's still a grizzly scar
    ..... stupid cats
    • #10
    #10

    I used to self harm between the ages of 16-19 and my upper legs are covered in scars, I have found however that people don't seem to notice. I am glad I never harmed on my arms as this would be much harder to cover. A couple of my friends have asked what the marks are when I am wearing shorts but I just say they're stretch marks and they stop asking.

    I think if someone had quite a lot of obvious scars on their arms that were in clear view I couldn't help but assume they were doing it for attention on some level. When I used to harm it was something I was deeply ashamed of and would try my best to hide, so I can't really understand the mentality of doing it somewhere obvious that would be easily seen. But then everyone is different. Ultimately I'd feel sympathetic towards them, and if it was a friend I would talk to them about it if they felt comfortable enough.
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    I have marks on my arms and for that reason I never wear tops that show my forearms, even in the height of summer. I wouldn't want anyone to know I've injured myself, and I'd worry strangers would think I was attention seeking, even though my scars are tiny. If I saw scars on another person I would sympathise.
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    (Original post by ash92:))
    i don't mean to sound like a jerk but tbh i can't understand why anyone I would do that - obviously suicide is different though.
    Corrected your quote, peoples minds work in different ways to yours mate.
    You wouldnt understand why because you've obviously never been in that situation.
 
 
 
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