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    The clouds themselves were shaped long and thin, almost resembling weaponry, and down below the frost on the trees and the grass would remain, as the chill settled in.

    I think its "the grass would remain" part - sounds a bit weird apparently. Could someone correct it so it makes sense please?
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    "and down below, on the trees and grass, the frost would remain"?

    Though I'm not totally certain, changing it to that might destroy the sentence structure you've currently gone for, so it might have a different effect.
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    (Original post by Louise_x)
    "and down below, on the trees and grass, the frost would remain"?
    I think that's more correct. "... and down below," <-- Introductory clause. No comma after "remain" because you don't need to separate that thought group.

    "... the frost on the trees and the grass would remain as the chill settled in." <-- One complete thought.
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    and down below, the frost, on the trees and the grass, would remain as the chill settled in

    The commas after 'frost' and 'grass' act as parenthesis. This can be shown to be correct because if you removed the parenthetical clause 'on the trees and the grass', the sentence would still make sense - i.e. 'the frost would remain as the chill settled in'.
 
 
 
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