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    Hey guys, sorry if this is long, I'll get to the point.

    Great relationship of 2 years, no troubles, not long back from our first holiday. I got really really drunk one night in a club and exchanged a short kiss with another girl. Riddled with guilt, told the girlfriend and was promptly dumped.

    2 weeks later after loads of calls and stuff, she said she would like to get back together, to which I stupidly said why don't we wait a bit, make sure its because you want me, not because you miss me. Well, a week later I was to get out of her life and never speak to her again - her birthday was on the saturday night, our relations had been a bit strained that week, but I knew not many of her friends were gonna be there, so I went and she wanted me to come.

    But in the club, she was only with me til this guy, we'll call him bob, from uni went past. Then she was off like a flash. Didn't see her again really til I bumped into her, bob n his mates didn't see she had stopped so she hung with me again until bob walked past. Then, again, off like a flash. I didn't see her til the end, bob and his mates had left, so we got a taxi back together. Told her I felt a bit used n stuff. Next day I was to get out her life and never speak to her again.

    Spoke to her friend (call her jude) the week later - exact same thing happened to her when they were out and bob went passed. She told me she fancied bob and was following him around in clubs, using jude in uni to get closer to him (jude and bob were lab partners) Now, my ex said to me she just wanted space, so I called her and said 'yo, if your just wanting space thats cool, I'll always be here for you. But if its cos you like the look of someone else, i.e you think the grass is greener on the other side then I won't.' She pretty much said she wants to see if theres better.

    Didn't speak til 3, 4 months later. She called me out the blue, having a hard time with life. 4 months later we're getting closer, and kinda seeing each other. The break up came up in conversation last night. I told her what happened in my view, she apologised, and I said how it meant I was second best really. And that I don't want to be second best. She said I wasn't. But then bob came up. Bob didn't fancy her back. And she seemed abit gutted by it. I'm crazy about this girl - she's hot, she's smart, fun, interesting, we went out for 2 years! I still love her. Do I forget about bob and give HER the second chance (she probs thinks shes giving me it) or do I try and move on?

    Thanks <3
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    If you can talk sensibly and trust each other, yes.

    If you can't, no.
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    She sounds like a ******* to be honest. Why would you want to be with someone who darked you as soon as there was something "better" on offer and basically used you because she's a bit of a loser? Sounds like a no-brainer to me but yknow, your life.
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    NO! sounds like she has no respect for you and you are second best, he wasn't interested so she came crawling back but still thinks she's doing YOU a favour. Tell her where to go.
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    Nup - don't let her use you as a filler.
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    See that's like my initial thoughts aswell guys, but then again, I did kiss someone else...do we blame her for thinking there could be better out there?
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    (Original post by Keese)
    Hey guys, sorry if this is long, I'll get to the point.

    Great relationship of 2 years, no troubles, not long back from our first holiday. I got really really drunk one night in a club and exchanged a short kiss with another girl. Riddled with guilt, told the girlfriend and was promptly dumped.

    2 weeks later after loads of calls and stuff, she said she would like to get back together, to which I stupidly said why don't we wait a bit, make sure its because you want me, not because you miss me. Well, a week later I was to get out of her life and never speak to her again - her birthday was on the saturday night, our relations had been a bit strained that week, but I knew not many of her friends were gonna be there, so I went and she wanted me to come.

    But in the club, she was only with me til this guy, we'll call him bob, from uni went past. Then she was off like a flash. Didn't see her again really til I bumped into her, bob n his mates didn't see she had stopped so she hung with me again until bob walked past. Then, again, off like a flash. I didn't see her til the end, bob and his mates had left, so we got a taxi back together. Told her I felt a bit used n stuff. Next day I was to get out her life and never speak to her again.

    Spoke to her friend (call her jude) the week later - exact same thing happened to her when they were out and bob went passed. She told me she fancied bob and was following him around in clubs, using jude in uni to get closer to him (jude and bob were lab partners) Now, my ex said to me she just wanted space, so I called her and said 'yo, if your just wanting space thats cool, I'll always be here for you. But if its cos you like the look of someone else, i.e you think the grass is greener on the other side then I won't.' She pretty much said she wants to see if theres better.

    Didn't speak til 3, 4 months later. She called me out the blue, having a hard time with life. 4 months later we're getting closer, and kinda seeing each other. The break up came up in conversation last night. I told her what happened in my view, she apologised, and I said how it meant I was second best really. And that I don't want to be second best. She said I wasn't. But then bob came up. Bob didn't fancy her back. And she seemed abit gutted by it. I'm crazy about this girl - she's hot, she's smart, fun, interesting, we went out for 2 years! I still love her. Do I forget about bob and give HER the second chance (she probs thinks shes giving me it) or do I try and move on?

    Thanks <3
    Ignore all the rose-tinted f uckwits who will tell you all is peachy. I promise you, with no possibility of me being wrong, that at some point in the future this girl will break your heart.

    If all it took for her to go all stalky on some other guy was a 3 week break (with you even still there!) then I promise you, the second some really hot guy flexes at her she will dump you, or worse, play around behind your back.

    Its a basic question of respect, and it looks like its lacking.
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    I guess I don't want this to be the case, and deep down I know you guys are right...but what if she genuinely does realise that I'm tha best. Should we sit down and talk about it like 2nd poster said, or would I just be wasting my time again? She's away on holiday for a few days, so I won't see her til like tuesday...plenty of time to think about it. Shame this always seems to happen when I'm supposed to be studying!
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    She was always after Bob even if ya didnt kiss another girl. Bob might have boned her despite not wanting her. She might have left that part out though...lol!
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    Look, two wrongs don't make a right. You cheated on her, and she's been stringing you along ever since she broke up with you. Even if you think the drunken kiss meant nothing, there was probably an underlying issue in your relationship. You've just written reams about the situation and you're asking us for advice. If you knew the right answer was to get back with your ex, you'd do it without thinking about it and consulting others. You're not over what she's done, and she's clearly not over what you've done judging by her behaviour. I'm not excusing her behaviour, but you can see where she's coming from - she's trying to make you jealous and see whether you'll stick around. She thinks that if you're serious and committed to her, you'll stick around even when she's not being very fortchcoming with you. It's a test.
    I say don't get back with her. There are other girls out there, and my attitude would be that I'd have to get over her at some point, and that I may as well do it now before I get more emotionally attached and ultimately hurt.
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    Well, I don't think she has been stringing me along since we broke up - she did ask me not to speak to her for months, so we weren't really in contact. Its more i've come into knowledge recently that he didn't like her back, just as we're starting to get closer again. She's reassured me when i've said 'I'm just like second best' n stuff. But actions always speak louder than words. The problem also is, I am emotionally attached, having went out with her for 2 years :-\ And obviously I do want it to work out...there's just something telling me this isn't right.
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    I love bob
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    Sounds like Bob and Jude were ****ing and so your ex is left with you.
 
 
 
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