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    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by ForeverGold)
    Please don't move mods I would like people to choose to go anon if they wish.

    When I was reading the "I'm too ugly" thread and OP mentioned BDD I was wondering if I had that since I have depression, anxiety and low self esteem when it comes to the way I look I hate looking at the mirror and taking pictures with friends because I always look like crap even though people say I'm pretty but I don't believe them since I've never had a boyfriend.
    But the guy I like is painfully shy, I'm shy too but I do talk to him mainly about work but sometimes he looks pissed off so I don't talk to him then (so I wanted to know more about his behaviour)

    Anyway I was searching about it and came across "Love shyness" because it's linked with anxiety and came across points that might be linked to it.

    -mainly have female siblings (I thought it would be the opposite but maybe because they are likely to be more sensitive)
    -more violent fantasies
    -were very pessimistic and cynical about the world
    -were much more likely to believe that nobody cared about them
    -Some might stare compulsively at women with whom they were infatuated or even stalk them
    -More likely to be friends with females
    -frequent feelings of depression, loneliness and alienation
    -addictions of various types
    -School bullying
    -Parental upbringing including verbal abuse, criticism, 'put-downs', negative comparisons
    -love shy heterosexual males are assumed to be homosexual, so homosexual guys are likely to make advances on them but they get rejected.

    The guy I like even though I don't know anything about his personal life but the things I do know is
    - He stares all the time when I see him, where ever we are he's always staring, even though I assume I have something on my face (But I don't mind because I like him anyway :grin:)
    -He is mainly friends with females even though he does have male friends but more female ones
    -He always looks pissed off, and he normally is on his own which makes my eyes sad :cry2: But he looks pissed off so I don't know if he wants me to go and talk to him even though I do if he's next to me. :love:
    -He smokes a lot but could just be the nicotine
    -I did thought at first that he was gay but now I realised he's just painfully shy and his gay friend tried it on with him, but he rejected him and stopped talking to him

    But I wanted to know if any other love shy guys especially from painfully shy guys are similar to the points above.

    If you're a girl who knows a love shy guy or painfully shy guy your comments are welcome.


    Please no trolls including comments like "Cool story Bruh" or "Pics or GTFO"
    Wow, the critearia for a guy who would have love shyness is basicaly what i have (except the mostly female friends bit, i've got a lot of female friends but my closest friends are males, i've just known them for that long). I used to be put down by my dad for the way i looked and i used to be bullied at school. I mean there's this girl i've had a crush on for 6 years but its taken me 5 yrs to actualy talk to her. I had to , in a sense, recreate the way i talk and act just so i could be confident enough to talk to her. But in the process i'm no longer the same person and in some way much worse.

    I guess this is something i got to work out.
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    (Original post by ForeverGold)

    The guy I like even though I don't know anything about his personal life but the things I do know is
    - He stares all the time when I see him, where ever we are he's always staring, even though I assume I have something on my face (But I don't mind because I like him anyway :grin:)
    -He is mainly friends with females even though he does have male friends but more female ones
    -He always looks pissed off, and he normally is on his own which makes my eyes sad :cry2: But he looks pissed off so I don't know if he wants me to go and talk to him even though I do if he's next to me. :love:
    -He smokes a lot but could just be the nicotine
    -I did thought at first that he was gay but now I realised he's just painfully shy and his gay friend tried it on with him, but he rejected him and stopped talking to him
    Sounds like me..............WHO ARE YOU!!!
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    that sounds scarily like me... this bad or..?
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    (Original post by sr90)
    Haha no you don't, thats understandable if you like him. I actually smiled reading that, who sounds like a loser now? Do you ever talk to him outside lessons? Some people become far more confident when they're outside the classroom.. another reason to get his number!

    Nope, she went off to uni and we briefly tried an LDR which didn't really work out. As you'd expect we drifted apart but i'd say we're rather good friends again now. Was rather wierd at first but we've spent so much time together while she's been back home for easter... its been great having her around again.



    Yeah i definitely agree with this as well.
    I use to see him on my tube going and coming back, but that was before I realised I liked him. Now he takes a different route

    Hope you and her get back together you two sound sweet.

    I'm also worried about LDR if it was to work out because he's likely to move back home after uni so I would think it was a bit pointless. It would end before it even started.
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    (Original post by sr90)
    Its nothing you've done. He might have had a bad experience previously, never had it myself but i know some girls can be very nasty when it comes to rejection. Or if he's rather self conscious about his appearance he'll struggle to understand why you, or indeed anyone, would be attracted to him.
    Maybe, I hate mean girls and guys :unimpressed: (I just wanted a reason to use that face)

    He really isn't ugly and I would be surprised if others thought so, maybe he has BDD I don't know.
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    hey the interesting facts is that i too conyain all ur requires
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    (Original post by Veldrin)
    Sounds like me..............WHO ARE YOU!!!
    ForeverGold :ahee:

    And those points are really common in the majority of male students are you sure you get mistaken for being gay? :eyeball:
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    (Original post by knowme)
    hey the interesting facts is that i too conyain all ur requires
    Thank you for signing up to say that but what does that mean????? :confused:

    Edit I just realised you meant contain lol
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by ForeverGold)
    but sometimes he looks pissed off so I don't talk to him then

    -He always looks pissed off, and he normally is on his own which makes my eyes sad :cry2: But he looks pissed off
    He could just look that way or be like that at first once you actually get to know him he might be less guarded and soften up. You'll have to look past the "pissed off" look before you can really get to know the person and "read him". Having something in common and/ or a sense of humour would definitely help.
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    (Original post by ForeverGold)
    ForeverGold :ahee:

    And those points are really common in the majority of male students are you sure you get mistaken for being gay? :eyeball:
    Once someone tried to set me up with a dude and I met a gay friend when he tried to hit on me.....so yes quite sure.
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    i want tosay that i also got all the features of ur shy guy
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    (Original post by Veldrin)
    Once someone tried to set me up with a dude and I met a gay friend when he tried to hit on me.....so yes quite sure.
    lol have you got green eyes? :teeth:
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    hey can u help me gal?
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    (Original post by knowme)
    i want tosay that i also got all the features of ur shy guy
    Oh ok which ones from the list sound like you.
    I noticed you are new if you want to quote me there's a quote button on the bottom right hand corner so I can reply to your quote quicker.
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    Im really outgoing and have been chasing this really shy guy for years, eventually he realized that he didnt have to be shy around me because i made him feel good and we ended up together at the weekend and since then he has turned out to be a real dark horse
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    (Original post by knowme)
    hey can u help me gal?
    Help with what I hope you are not a troll?
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    (Original post by ForeverGold)
    lol have you got green eyes? :teeth:
    You're starting to scare me....:eek:
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    no i mean that i am watching a girl who is shy and i want express muy feeling but i cant coz i got afraid and full with shy when i stood near her what to dd?whats the idea
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    (Original post by ForeverGold)
    Maybe, I hate mean girls and guys :unimpressed: (I just wanted a reason to use that face)

    He really isn't ugly and I would be surprised if others thought so, maybe he has BDD I don't know.
    You were saying that you felt quite insecure about your appearance, i'm sure he'd say the same about you! If you got to know him and it turned out he was attracted to you, maybe that'll improve your confidence too.

    Never seen that face before.. its not that great!
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    (Original post by mabelbarc)
    Im really outgoing and have been chasing this really shy guy for years, eventually he realized that he didnt have to be shy around me because i made him feel good and we ended up together at the weekend and since then he has turned out to be a real dark horse
    lol that's why I like him he's really shy but he seems really naughty underneath all that.
    It's always the quiet ones. Must be all that repressed confidence ready to explode.
    How long did it take him to get comfortable to be with you?
 
 
 
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