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    hi everyone, I'm a 22 year old girl at uni, i'm a virgin and starting to worry about it !

    i've never had a boyfriend but have been asked out by various guys in uni and sixth form etc, kissed lots of boys, get attention from guys on nights out, get asked for my number etc etc. all the boys that have asked me out are just not right for me...i know that sounds fussy but they genuinely are not the guys that i would want to be the girlfriend of.

    when i came to uni i never thought i would be leaving as a virgin and i'm pretty shocked at myself for staying one and now that my 3 years are over...i'm scared that i'm just a frigid boring girl ! i never have guys stay round at my house, never go back to anyone elses, at the most i will flirt and maybe kiss on a night out or get someone's number and text them a few times but never really have the intention of eventually going out with them and becoming their girlfriend etc.....i'm worried that there's something wrong with me !

    almost everybody i know has been out with someone and i'm shocked at myself that i literally have no ex's because i've never been out with anyone without sounding arrogant, i'm not disadvantaged in the looks department or anything, i get lots of attention off guys anyway but i'm just scared that i'm never going to lose my virginity ! am i doing something wrong?
    any help/advice would be appreciated please! XXX
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    sounds like you're just being really picky or judging people far to harshly!

    from experience the relationships where, at the beginning i thought i'd found the perfect person are no better than the ones which seem to happen out of the blue with random people

    if you are attracted to somebody and enjoy being around them, just go for it and see what happens. stop trying to find the perfect guy.
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    Titles are too long!

    first fat, then virgin, next... ugly?
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    sounds like you're just being really picky or judging people far to harshly!

    from experience the relationships where, at the beginning i thought i'd found the perfect person are no better than the ones which seem to happen out of the blue with random people

    if you are attracted to somebody and enjoy being around them, just go for it and see what happens. stop trying to find the perfect guy.
    that's good advice ! yeah i do think i am pretty picky but i only plan to lose it with someone that i'm going out with...but if i can't find someone to go out with then that's probably my problem?!
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    I'm sick of some girls mentality towards guys these days.

    If there not an "Edward Cullen," there not good enough.

    No-one is perfect. Girls, get that into your head.

    A relationship is never perfect. If it was, it would not be natural. A relationship revolves around not just your compatibilities, but also reconciling your differences with each other.

    To the OP; Your standards are too high. Read my above post and realise that next time a good guy asks you out.

    Disclaimer: No, I'm not telling you to become a slut.
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    Lots of people are in your postition, myself included (but aged 21, not 22). Its so much more common than you think.

    I've never had a boyfriend, been on a single date, been asked out. Literally nothing. My first kiss only happened a few months ago when a friend drunkenly snogged me. It doesn't bother me and it never has done. If I wanted just plain sex, I could get it from any number of horny boys in my union/ club, but thats not what I want. So I'll wait however long it takes for someone I love to come along. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen; but I'm fairly sure it will. I mean I'm in love with a guy from uni at the moment, but would never ever tell him.

    You say you are surprised that you are still a virgin. Maybe you are being a bit too picky. Its not necessarily a bad thing, but the lack of a bf if obviosuly getting to you a bit, so maybe try to let your guard down a bit.
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    I was 23 when I met my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him at 23! (I was picky, like you!)

    It's honestly, not a big deal. You'll meet someone eventually. Stop panicking, you are normal!
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    (Original post by Alpharius)
    I'm sick of some girls mentality towards guys these days.

    If there not an "Edward Cullen," there not good enough.

    No-one is perfect. Girls, get that into your head.

    A relationship is never perfect. If it was, it would not be natural. A relationship revolves around not just your compatibilities, but also reconciling your differences with each other.

    To the OP; Your standards are too high. Read my above post and realise that next time a good guy asks you out.

    Disclaimer: No, I'm not telling you to become a slut.
    Lol blunt but good advice i guess haha.
    p.s. liking the disclaimer though thank you lol
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    (Original post by QI Elf)
    Lots of people are in your postition, myself included (but aged 21, not 22). Its so much more common than you think.

    I've never had a boyfriend, been on a single date, been asked out. Literally nothing. My first kiss only happened a few months ago when a friend drunkenly snogged me. It doesn't bother me and it never has done. If I wanted just plain sex, I could get it from any number of horny boys in my union/ club, but thats not what I want. So I'll wait however long it takes for someone I love to come along. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen; but I'm fairly sure it will. I mean I'm in love with a guy from uni at the moment, but would never ever tell him.

    You say you are surprised that you are still a virgin. Maybe you are being a bit too picky. Its not necessarily a bad thing, but the lack of a bf if obviosuly getting to you a bit, so maybe try to let your guard down a bit.
    ok true, to be honest i think as much as i pretend to have an open mind when i meet a guy....i need wayyy more of one lol. thanks xxx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol blunt but good advice i guess haha.
    p.s. liking the disclaimer though thank you lol
    A very necssary disclaimer when idiots read my posts.

    It's good that you have standards, but don't make it perfection. You'll be single your whole life if you do.

    Class is a rather attractive quality to the classy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi everyone, I'm a 22 year old girl at uni, i'm a virgin and starting to worry about it !

    i've never had a boyfriend but have been asked out by various guys in uni and sixth form etc, kissed lots of boys, get attention from guys on nights out, get asked for my number etc etc. all the boys that have asked me out are just not right for me...i know that sounds fussy but they genuinely are not the guys that i would want to be the girlfriend of.

    when i came to uni i never thought i would be leaving as a virgin and i'm pretty shocked at myself for staying one and now that my 3 years are over...i'm scared that i'm just a frigid boring girl ! i never have guys stay round at my house, never go back to anyone elses, at the most i will flirt and maybe kiss on a night out or get someone's number and text them a few times but never really have the intention of eventually going out with them and becoming their girlfriend etc.....i'm worried that there's something wrong with me !

    almost everybody i know has been out with someone and i'm shocked at myself that i literally have no ex's because i've never been out with anyone without sounding arrogant, i'm not disadvantaged in the looks department or anything, i get lots of attention off guys anyway but i'm just scared that i'm never going to lose my virginity ! am i doing something wrong?
    any help/advice would be appreciated please! XXX
    Don't worry about it, sounds like you just want to wait for the right person and i'm sure you will find them sooner or later. Of course you could just go out and sleep with a randomer but if thats not you then i wouldnt do that. I bet a lot of guys wouldnt care that you were a virgin anyway

    Also are there any guys you like right now? There is one thing not to like the guys that come on to you and ask for your number but its different if you dont like anyone
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    (Original post by n1r4v)
    Titles are too long!

    first fat, then virgin, next... ugly?
    I swear we had an ugly one yesterday. This proves how much time I waste on TSR. :getmecoat:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's good advice ! yeah i do think i am pretty picky but i only plan to lose it with someone that i'm going out with...but if i can't find someone to go out with then that's probably my problem?!
    just don't be so picky with who you go out with. i reckon you could pair me up with maybe a quarter of the girls in my uni and i'd be able to have a pretty decent relationship for a few months before it started to break down.

    obviously don't just go out with whichever guy you seem first, but i don't think you can write somebody off so quickly without properly getting to know them. personally i do most of that in a relationship as i think its a bit weird becoming friends and then going out.

    also you have to come to terms with the fact that the majority of your relationships will fail. only 1 will ever succeed. you cant go into a relationship looking for your husband as i guarentee you'll never find him that way. just go into a relationship because you enjoy spending time with someone
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    I think 17th century satirist and poet, Alexander Pope, can help us with this: 'But since, alas! frail Beauty must decay, / Curl'd or uncurl'd, since Locks will turn to grey; / Since painted, or not painted, all shall fade, / And she who scorns a Man, must die a Maid'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol blunt but good advice i guess haha.
    p.s. liking the disclaimer though thank you lol
    I don't agree with him at all. I think many girls are like that because they aren't ready yet; perhaps it's easier to lust after a figure you know you'll never be with because it's safe and distant. If you were desperate for the closeness and sexual intimacy of a relationship I'm pretty sure you would have tried to actively seek one out by now.

    Do you want to have sex at all? Perhaps you are asexual; many people go through the whole of their life without any desire...there is more to life than sex and relationships. Of course you could just not be ready, which is completely fine too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

    My girlfriend didn't lose her virginity until she was 22, and I lost mine a LOT earlier than that. Either way we're both (relatively) normal people (apart from the fact we're in a lesbian relationship ) in a happy relationship and it doesn't seem to have massively shaped our lives. I really respect you for not feeling you have to throw yourself at men for attention or to feel pretty or normal like many girls our age (and some of my female friends) do!!
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    (Original post by Brevity)
    I think 17th century satirist and poet, Alexander Pope, can help us with this: 'But since, alas! frail Beauty must decay, / Curl'd or uncurl'd, since Locks will turn to grey; / Since painted, or not painted, all shall fade, / And she who scorns a Man, must die a Maid'.
    She's 22...not 72...
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    (Original post by minacolada)
    She's 22...not 72...
    You can never start worrying about these things early enough.
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    (Original post by minacolada)
    I don't agree with him at all. I think many girls are like that because they aren't ready yet; perhaps it's easier to lust after a figure you know you'll never be with because it's safe and distant. If you were desperate for the closeness and sexual intimacy of a relationship I'm pretty sure you would have tried to actively seek one out by now.

    Do you want to have sex at all? Perhaps you are asexual; many people go through the whole of their life without any desire...there is more to life than sex and relationships. Of course you could just not be ready, which is completely fine too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

    My girlfriend didn't lose her virginity until she was 22, and I lost mine a LOT earlier than that. Either way we're both (relatively) normal people (apart from the fact we're in a lesbian relationship ) in a happy relationship and it doesn't seem to have massively shaped our lives. I really respect you for not feeling you have to throw yourself at men for attention or to feel pretty or normal like many girls our age (and some of my female friends) do!!
    Did you not read my disclaimer? I was not telling her to spread her legs.

    If she is not ready, she is not ready. My point will only apply when she is.

    However ask yourself this; Why would she post here about it if she didn't think to herself that if she was in a relationship, she wouldn't be ready?

    Thats just sence. I refuse to call it "common."
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    I'm in the same situation. Except I'm not as upset about it as you I dont think. I seem to want the absolute perfect guy in every way or at the very least somebody who feels right for me. Havent met them, and really not sure if I ever will, but I'd prefer to keep me to myself than go with someone I dont really like that much just because of loneliness. Maybe when I reach 30 I'll change my mind but at 21 I'm still not desperate yet. So yeah really dont have any advice for you as there really isnt anything you can do about it.
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    (Original post by didgeridoo12uk)
    just don't be so picky with who you go out with. i reckon you could pair me up with maybe a quarter of the girls in my uni and i'd be able to have a pretty decent relationship for a few months before it started to break down.

    obviously don't just go out with whichever guy you seem first, but i don't think you can write somebody off so quickly without properly getting to know them. personally i do most of that in a relationship as i think its a bit weird becoming friends and then going out.

    also you have to come to terms with the fact that the majority of your relationships will fail. only 1 will ever succeed. you cant go into a relationship looking for your husband as i guarentee you'll never find him that way. just go into a relationship because you enjoy spending time with someone
    Ok true, the line about going into a relationship always looking for your husband definitely struck a chord! maybe next time i meet someone maybe i should give them the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer and see what i think...or else i'll never get anywhere lol. thank you xxx
 
 
 
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