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Upset over my lack of social life... Watch

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    (Original post by LeaX)
    No, but I'm 16. I'm supposed to have a good social life, Facebook albums filled with pictures from parties, etc... But, I have no life.
    Whenever you sit down and think about how bad your social life is, force yourself to smile, knowing that I'm far worse then you. Besides that, seriously, It doesn't matter, thing's will get better even If It doesn't seem like it now. Just try and organise things yourself. Oh and the facebook whores with 1000+ pictures are not want you want to aspire to be.
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    No, but I'm 16. I'm supposed to have a good social life, Facebook albums filled with pictures from parties, etc... But, I have no life.
    I'm younger than you but this is why I despise the youth of today. Here are some questions:

    Who the **** said it was necessary to have Facebook albums filled with pictures from parties?

    You're technically not supposed to, do want you enjoy not what other people do for fun. That's just being a sheep.

    Why place suh high emphasis on your social life?

    As whoever said so?

    Why can't you just do what you want as opposed to following the crowd?

    And my most important question, do you genuinely think you would be happy doing those sort of activities?

    Please answer, oh and spare any ad hom comments towards me, thanks.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Do you have any common girly interests? Hair, boys, tv shows.

    A lot of girls talk about tv shows they watched. It's generally quite fun.
    Are you implying that having "common" interests are necessary?
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    Yeah, I have a group of best friends as mentioned but they just either:
    - Never do anything or arrange to meet up
    - Do something but don't think to invite me

    :/
    Aw, I'm sorry. I think that there's not a lot you can do then, unless you can make your friends like you more. It seems they're falling away from you, if they don't invite you.

    :hugs:

    Edit.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    Are you implying that having "common" interests are necessary?
    They help.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Aw, I'm sorry. I think that there's not a lot you can do then, unless you can make your friends like you more. It seems they're falling away from you, if they don't invite you.

    :hugs:

    Edit.



    They help.
    I'd rather be ostracised and pursue my own interests, as opposed to being accepted for engaging with supposed banal "common" interests.
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    Go to your city library, take out books on self confidence, nlp, etc. (I have a relatively small city library, and they have like at least 30 self help books around the area) and put the lot into application.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'd rather be ostracised and pursue my own interests, as opposed to being accepted for engaging with supposed banal "common" interests.
    Er, wonderful, but this thread is about trying to be accepted by her friends. She doesn't want to be ostracised.

    I was also saying that hopefully she shared these banal interests and enjoyed them too, so she could talk about them passionantly.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    Er, wonderful, but this thread is about trying to be accepted by her friends. She doesn't want to be ostracised.

    I was also saying that hopefully she shared these banal interests and enjoyed them too, so she could talk about them passionantly.
    And do you think her pursuing interests she won't even like would help? Don't you think it might be coming across as quite fake?

    Don't say that she might enjoy them, arguable if she did share those kind of interests she won't even be int this position?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    And do you think her pursuing interests she won't even like would help? Don't you think it might be coming across as quite fake?

    Don't say that she might enjoy them, arguable if she did share those kind of interests she won't even be int this position?
    She said she could contribute to the conversation, she just didn't.

    That suggests she's shy and isn't talking about what she finds interesting.

    Again, I'm saying if she shares those interests she should talk about them, not that she should take them up.
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    Aw, definitely try to arrange to meet up with your friends over easter, I know what it's like to be scared of rejection, but if these people really are your friends they will want to see you and you have to tell yourself that. If they say they can't make something they probably have a genuine reason. If you don't like asking in person or on the phone then text them. Going shopping or to the cinema sounds fine, or you could suggest meeting up for a coffee? Good luck
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'm younger than you but this is why I despise the youth of today. Here are some questions:

    Who the **** said it was necessary to have Facebook albums filled with pictures from parties?

    You're technically not supposed to, do want you enjoy not what other people do for fun. That's just being a sheep.

    Why place suh high emphasis on your social life?

    As whoever said so?

    Why can't you just do what you want as opposed to following the crowd?

    And my most important question, do you genuinely think you would be happy doing those sort of activities?

    Please answer, oh and spare any ad hom comments towards me, thanks.
    I guess you're right. But I DO enjoy social events. Sure, I don't like huge gatherings and crowds but I enjoy going to the cinema or shopping or just hanging around with a small group of friends but it's just never planned. I don't know how to initiate it.
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    (Original post by Nepene)
    She said she could contribute to the conversation, she just didn't.

    That suggests she's shy and isn't talking about what she finds interesting.

    Again, I'm saying if she shares those interests she should talk about them, not that she should take them up.
    Yeah, I am shy. I contribute a lot to the conversations I have with my best friends (however, I don't when I'm with others) and I have lots of common interests with them.
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    (Original post by PointeShoes-x)
    Aw, definitely try to arrange to meet up with your friends over easter, I know what it's like to be scared of rejection, but if these people really are your friends they will want to see you and you have to tell yourself that. If they say they can't make something they probably have a genuine reason. If you don't like asking in person or on the phone then text them. Going shopping or to the cinema sounds fine, or you could suggest meeting up for a coffee? Good luck
    I'm gonna try, but I don't know who to ask and what we should do. Money is really tight for my best friend so I don't know what we could do really lol. They do wanna meet up because we're always saying at school that we'll go shopping in the holidays and that we'll meet up but they never say anything to me so it's always gotta be me asking and I hate that.
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    Well ive never tried integrating with J, K, L or M but give X a go, X is always one to integrate with !
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    social life is NOT such a big deal...
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    (Original post by LeaX)
    I guess you're right. But I DO enjoy social events. Sure, I don't like huge gatherings and crowds but I enjoy going to the cinema or shopping or just hanging around with a small group of friends but it's just never planned. I don't know how to initiate it.
    :lolwut:

    Do you want to watch [x] on the [x]?
    Do you want to go shopping at [x]?

    Seriously?
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    Life is so boring... it gets even more boring when your older... when your a kid you have it easy you only think about the smallest things like which... game should i play today... but when you get older you think about things more from a different angle and you take everything seriously... there is hardly much to do but study and hopefully find a good job... then you will have money you can do what you want with it grow a family start kids... my life is soo boring i doo go out... but there isn't a lot of things to do... you need to find a hobby that you can commit to and put your head down to... and that way you will forget all about the others things in life and enjoy your self... but its hard.. you need to search and hopefully one day it will hit you straight on the face.... Even if you are shy... it can't be helped... but if your enjoying the convo im sure you will automatically contribute... because its your type of thing... But whatever... find a new hobby and try asking people what they wanna do.. and if they know anything fun to do.. something original.. something you want to try...

    Hope that helps...
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I'm younger than you but this is why I despise the youth of today. Here are some questions:

    Who the **** said it was necessary to have Facebook albums filled with pictures from parties?

    You're technically not supposed to, do want you enjoy not what other people do for fun. That's just being a sheep.

    Why place suh high emphasis on your social life?

    As whoever said so?

    Why can't you just do what you want as opposed to following the crowd?

    And my most important question, do you genuinely think you would be happy doing those sort of activities?

    Please answer, oh and spare any ad hom comments towards me, thanks.

    i seriously have no idea whether or not you're joking :|
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    Find out some common interests with them, if you can't find a mutual group one, go out with each one on separate occasions and have fun days out, just the two of you. Organise to go out.
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    first ask yourself why you want more of a social life - is it because you want to fit in or is it because you genuinely don't like your lifestyle and it bores/depresses you?

    If it's just to fit in, I'd reconsider. I'm sure you can find a group of people like yourself if this is the case.

    I actually only have a small group of friends - I spend my lunchtimes and eat lunch with 3 other people, and maybe chat to a few others on the side. outside of school, I play badminton and tennis and go to the cinema occasionally with my brothers' friends who are also good friends of mine now as well

    If you wanna get out of your shell, the only way to do it is to stop caring about what others think of you. Even if you're weird and they end up thinking you're weird, it's not like they're gonna discuss it all day every day, they're just gonna think it to themselves, maybe mention it once to someone and then leave it. If you turn out to be an interesting person, they will forget about your weirdness altogether and it'll be fine

    people don't judge you as much as you think. if you can't bring yourself to do something seemingly difficult, just think to yourself that in 10 years time, this moment won't matter at all and you'll probably be laughing about it at the dinner table
 
 
 
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