The Student Room Group

Home worries...

Since I've been at uni everything at home seems to have just fallen apart. People keep telling me not to let it affect me, but I can't concentrate on anything cos I'm constantly thinking about what's going on back home.

My nan has just had to have a major op and it's gone slightly wrong, so I've been worrying about her. My mum recently walked out on my stepdad (well...not by marriage, but they've been together 10yrs) and left the country to go to Tunisia. Apparently while there on a holiday with my auntie, she met someone and she recently called me to tell me she was coming back (yesterday) and that at Christmas she's going back there to marry him. Anyone who tells me that isn't something to worry about is lying. I've asked for an extension on my five assignments I have due in a week on Wednesday...but even that doesn't seem to have helped. I feel so useless and apathetic :frown:
Reply 1
babynessontoast
Since I've been at uni everything at home seems to have just fallen apart. People keep telling me not to let it affect me, but I can't concentrate on anything cos I'm constantly thinking about what's going on back home.

My nan has just had to have a major op and it's gone slightly wrong, so I've been worrying about her. My mum recently walked out on my stepdad (well...not by marriage, but they've been together 10yrs) and left the country to go to Tunisia. Apparently while there on a holiday with my auntie, she met someone and she recently called me to tell me she was coming back (yesterday) and that at Christmas she's going back there to marry him. Anyone who tells me that isn't something to worry about is lying. I've asked for an extension on my five assignments I have due in a week on Wednesday...but even that doesn't seem to have helped. I feel so useless and apathetic :frown:

Whilst I can't sympathise with your situation completely re: mum and I can relate to having ill relatives. My dad just got out of hospital after being in for a week and a half.................and duing my first degree he had to have a life threatening operation......plus my aunt was dying in my 2nd year so had to take 2 weeks off in the middle of term to go to australia.......it's hard when you have lots of things back up on you like this and diffiuclt not to let things affect your work and generally how you're thinking.

My personal way of dealing with it was just to jump into my work after taking some time to clear things in my head. I came to realise that it was horrid my dad being ill but that I had no control over what was going to happen to him and because he was in hospital, he was in the best possible place should anything happen....................and he would have wanted me to carry on with my studies and do as well as I possibly could.

As for the situation with your mum - have you tried talking to her about how you feel about this seemingly rushed decision......................?

Make sure you get into contact wth your personal tutor at university - you'll be suprised how much talking to someone impartial about how your feeling - also, you could try your university's counselling service which is confidential. Your uni should be totally understanding about your case and I would imagine will give you ask much help as you need.

I'm not sure if anything I've said has helped..........................my main piece of advice would be to just think about the things that are affecting you and try to realise that somethings you just don't have any control over, and try and deal with the things that you do........
Hey.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time at the moment :frown: . There's not really much advice I can give, because if I said throw yourself into your work (which would be tres sensible) I would be very hypocritical... the same goes for saying try not to think about it. I've got major problems at home too, and I haven't even tried to fully concentrate on work or anything because there's no way I can take my mind off stuff, especially since I'm doing a subject I hate. Anyway, that's irrelevant.

All I can say is I'm here to chat if you want - PM or msn me (the uni internet network is rubbish at the mo but supposedly it's getting better so I should be around :smile: ) and rant all you want!

Hope you feel ok soon.
SP xxx
Reply 3
Thanks guys. I agree - I think my mum has rushed her decision. I live in a flat of 6 other girls and it's never easy to find a moment right to just talk about it. They know the situation, but I've not really had a heart to heart with any one of them. To make it worse, my boyfriend is in Canada visiting family til Jan 6th so its like my support network has broken down completely!
Reply 4
babynessontoast
Thanks guys. I agree - I think my mum has rushed her decision. I live in a flat of 6 other girls and it's never easy to find a moment right to just talk about it. They know the situation, but I've not really had a heart to heart with any one of them. To make it worse, my boyfriend is in Canada visiting family til Jan 6th so its like my support network has broken down completely!

Perhaps you should seriously consider you uni counselling sevice - people think really bad things about going to the counsellor but they really are there to help you :smile:
Reply 5
i reckon you should have a long talk with your mum, maybe take a few days off uni after having explained to your tutor, and sort things out with her... i hate it when people say there's nothing to worry about.. there blatently is but they just feel guilty and dont want to talk about it. definitely try and talk to someone impartial and see what they suggest too