Best friend is a *****? Watch

x_emmzy_x
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#21
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#21
(Original post by qwerty7)
We fell out because in a nutshell she ditched me last minute on a night out (after getting ready hair/makeup/clothes) and decided to go somewhere else with the same friends, despite spending all week planning the 'girlie night'. Then she never apologised or even explained why (other than the text "sorry off somewhere else") so I stopped talking to her. We haven't talked or said anything to each other since.

I think the other friends are a bit miffed that I've left the group, but she's stopped *****ing about me in front of certain friends because she knows they tell me what she's said.
Are you sure she's worth being your best friend? From what you've said, she really doesn't sound like someone you can count on, but I do understand this might be a very skewed view. If she's still ****gingg you off to your friends then I seriously don't think she's worth it, definitely sounds like she needs to grow up!

She may well feel guilty and that's why she's acting *****y because she's too stubborn to admit it. What she did definitely wasn't nice but could you ask her to meet up for a coffee or something to talk about it now you've both had time to mull it over? Maybe you could do this after she's replied to your message about the money, as if it's in public she may not make as big a fuss.

Also about the money, that is a hell of a lot of money to lose, keep hassling her. If she won't give it back, you could always ask her parents. My old best friend was like this and she owes people hundreds of pounds and everyone hates her for it, no amount of nagging worked with her unfortunately. She still hasn't paid anyone back 3/4 years later, in some cases more.
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Know_ThySelf
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#22
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#22
(Original post by qwerty7)
That'll be hard to do but thanks for the advice! I can't really involve our college because it's got nothing to do with them, I'm not sure if they would do anything. But I've never thought about involving college but it's worth a try, thanks! I'll see how she replies to the last message I sent.
Depending on the last message, if she decides to be akward about the money, then you need to see her face to face (if not, over the phone) and TELL her you want your money.

Also, don't bother becoming friends with her again, she does'nt seem like a very nice 'friend'...
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Khaysha-Saine
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#23
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#23
(Original post by qwerty7)
She's just replied my message with "yeh" which I guess means she has bought the tickets. The tickets don't come out until god knows when so I'm not sure about what to do with that situation. Do I delete her from facebook?
Only delete her from Facebook if you don’t want her to see your posts or know where u are etc.. but you need to have some sort on contact with her because when she doesn’t reply to your text she cant deny being on FB if she’s posted something so I wouldn’t just wait until the tickets come out and demand yours if she wont give it you then report her to the police because £200 is a lot of money. You have the text as proof or better yet send her a text that in a round about way proves you gave her £200 for so and so tickets and make her reply “yeh” so you can use that as a sort of written agreement.
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BlueJoker
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#24
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#24
(Original post by qwerty7)
I'm not sure who in college to talk to really. I doubt my teachers or personal tutor would do anything about it, and there isn't much they can do either than say "give the money/ticket back, please". I was hoping that she would apologise and we would be friends again by the time the festival came around but looks like I have to sort something else out :/
A college should have suitable welfare that helps your emotional needs too...

Plus, if the money was always intended to be a loan rather than a gift, she legally has to give it back, although it would be quite hard to prove.
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
Don't worry i am sure she wants be friends with you as well she's just not willing to applogise to you, maybe in her eyes she didn't do anything wrong and you should tell her upfront that if she wants to say anything about you she should say it to your rather than back-chatting about you.Hope you two become friends again
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Anonymous #2
#26
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#26
(Original post by Khaysha-Saine)
Wooow seems similarly to my situation! I just feel out with my friend and she owes me money which she is trying to not pay back, but she hasn’t said anything threatening. She has however tried to turn all our mutual friends against me but there not as childish as her and just say there not getting involved. People I talk to me have asked if I would like them to blank her but I really couldn’t care less. Just because I’m not talking to her doesn’t mean nobody else can.

Anyway back to you LOL I would forget the money your more that likely not going to get that back, as for the threats you already know there empty so once again so ignore them. Girls like that love people giving them attention and if you give her none she won’t know what to do. It’s like a fire, don’t feed it. You have a new set of friends just hang out with hem a bit more and try and take your mind off all her crap.
My best friend still owes me about £300 from years ago. She used it to pay for her photoshoot pictures, and at the time I really needed the money and asked for it she avoided the question and changed the topic. Yet she lives in a household earning so much she can't even get a student loan, and i'm the one who lives in a council house. But for some reason, shes always "broke".

More so, she uses me for rides to her uni (I go to a diff uni). I drive and am fortunate enough to own a vehicle, but as I said im not very well off. She goes to hertfordshire, the amount of petrol it takes me to drive there is insane and not ONCE in the 3 years has she offered to pay for the petrol, even ONCE.

Also, I have a monthly mobile contract of 600 mins and she has minutes too, where do all my minutes go??? Calling her back from her 1 ring/bell missed calls, or on the odd occasion I pick up by accident her "ermm, listen can you call me baccckkk". Where do her minutes go?? I don't know but not on me obviously? It hurts to care about someone and them to use you, I dont know if most people do this but i find it so rude when im talking to someone I will listen properly and reply with good advise, not I don't want to hear the noise of her texting someone else and advise of "dont worry bbz ull be fine" every single time. Many other occasions were she uses me and I can't say no and she knows this weakness so she uses it.

Oh did I mention my "best friend" pokes fun at me about my weight in front of people she knows I dont feel comfortable with. At her times of need I can hand on heart say i'll rush to her even if it's 4:00am, but when it's my turn, lol another story. Life isn't fair ey.

Sorry for the rant, needed to get it off.
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Khaysha-Saine
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
My best friend still owes me about £300 from years ago. She used it to pay for her photoshoot pictures, and at the time I really needed the money and asked for it she avoided the question and changed the topic. Yet she lives in a household earning so much she can't even get a student loan, and i'm the one who lives in a council house. But for some reason, shes always "broke".

More so, she uses me for rides to her uni (I go to a diff uni). I drive and am fortunate enough to own a vehicle, but as I said im not very well off. She goes to hertfordshire, the amount of petrol it takes me to drive there is insane and not ONCE in the 3 years has she offered to pay for the petrol, even ONCE.

Also, I have a monthly mobile contract of 600 mins and she has minutes too, where do all my minutes go??? Calling her back from her 1 ring/bell missed calls, or on the odd occasion I pick up by accident her "ermm, listen can you call me baccckkk". Where do her minutes go?? I don't know but not on me obviously? It hurts to care about someone and them to use you, I dont know if most people do this but i find it so rude when im talking to someone I will listen properly and reply with good advise, not I don't want to hear the noise of her texting someone else and advise of "dont worry bbz ull be fine" every single time. Many other occasions were she uses me and I can't say no and she knows this weakness so she uses it.

Oh did I mention my "best friend" pokes fun at me about my weight in front of people she knows I dont feel comfortable with. At her times of need I can hand on heart say i'll rush to her even if it's 4:00am, but when it's my turn, lol another story. Life isn't fair ey.

Sorry for the rant, needed to get it off.
Everybody’s different and it sounds like you shouldn’t be friends with that person because there not giving you want you need from the relationship. Not really sure how you would get your money back without getting her to openly confess to owning it to you. As for the petrol I fully understand I’m not the most well off person and I drive but I NEVER drop people anywhere for free unless it’s an emergency. I used to occasionally drop my friend home from college because she lives a 10min drive from my house so it would be rude not to be even that used to hurt LOL.
Friendship is all about finding that person who gets you and expect you for exactly who you not, not for who you want to be or who they want you to be. I’m all for constructive criticism and playful banter but actually bulling you and poking fun at you! That’s not a friend.
dont worry about the rant we all need to do it at times
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Know_ThySelf
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Anonymous)
My best friend still owes me about £300 from years ago. She used it to pay for her photoshoot pictures, and at the time I really needed the money and asked for it she avoided the question and changed the topic. Yet she lives in a household earning so much she can't even get a student loan, and i'm the one who lives in a council house. But for some reason, shes always "broke".

More so, she uses me for rides to her uni (I go to a diff uni). I drive and am fortunate enough to own a vehicle, but as I said im not very well off. She goes to hertfordshire, the amount of petrol it takes me to drive there is insane and not ONCE in the 3 years has she offered to pay for the petrol, even ONCE.

Also, I have a monthly mobile contract of 600 mins and she has minutes too, where do all my minutes go??? Calling her back from her 1 ring/bell missed calls, or on the odd occasion I pick up by accident her "ermm, listen can you call me baccckkk". Where do her minutes go?? I don't know but not on me obviously? It hurts to care about someone and them to use you, I dont know if most people do this but i find it so rude when im talking to someone I will listen properly and reply with good advise, not I don't want to hear the noise of her texting someone else and advise of "dont worry bbz ull be fine" every single time. Many other occasions were she uses me and I can't say no and she knows this weakness so she uses it.

Oh did I mention my "best friend" pokes fun at me about my weight in front of people she knows I dont feel comfortable with. At her times of need I can hand on heart say i'll rush to her even if it's 4:00am, but when it's my turn, lol another story. Life isn't fair ey.

Sorry for the rant, needed to get it off.
Feel obliged to reply, even though you were'nt talking to me...!

Anywho, with all due respect (and I mean that!), you need to have some self-respect (not saying you don't just saying, maybe some more). I can understand you saying your a nice person and when someone needs help you have a weakness where you have to help them, but there is a difference between being kind and being principled.

This girl does'nt seem like much of a 'friend'. You need to be friends with someone who actually values your friendship and also understands that their friendship should be of value.
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Anonymous #2
#29
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#29
(Original post by Khaysha-Saine)
Everybody’s different and it sounds like you shouldn’t be friends with that person because there not giving you want you need from the relationship. Not really sure how you would get your money back without getting her to openly confess to owning it to you. As for the petrol I fully understand I’m not the most well off person and I drive but I NEVER drop people anywhere for free unless it’s an emergency. I used to occasionally drop my friend home from college because she lives a 10min drive from my house so it would be rude not to be even that used to hurt LOL.
Friendship is all about finding that person who gets you and expect you for exactly who you not, not for who you want to be or who they want you to be. I’m all for constructive criticism and playful banter but actually bulling you and poking fun at you! That’s not a friend.
dont worry about the rant we all need to do it at times

(Original post by Know_ThySelf)
Feel obliged to reply, even though you were'nt talking to me...!

Anywho, with all due respect (and I mean that!), you need to have some self-respect (not saying you don't just saying, maybe some more). I can understand you saying your a nice person and when someone needs help you have a weakness where you have to help them, but there is a difference between being kind and being principled.

This girl does'nt seem like much of a 'friend'. You need to be friends with someone who actually values your friendship and also understands that their friendship should be of value.
Thank you so much the two of you. I was expecting more of a, get over it or typical TRS response lol... I guess so, I need to have more self respect, people have done this to me for years, but i've grown stronger in this last year of uni (when most of your true "friends" are realised). If she was a "best friend", she would help me out instead of drowning me more. I'm gonna sit back now, and for the time being its about me and my future as final exams are 3 weeks away! Thanks again, good to know people like you exist
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HARRY PUTAH
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#30
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#30
(Original post by qwerty7)
I already have changed my group of friends. I hang out with a whole bunch of new people and I haven't joined the last group since (though I still talk to most of them online) It annoys me because she's the type of person who will never apologise even though they're in the wrong, so I don't think a true friendship is on the cards.
If you want you can give me her number and I'll get it for ya.
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