Turn on thread page Beta

Pregnancy and Parenting Society Mark II watch

Announcements
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really sorry to butt into the thread due to what Dita is going through (I had a read through the last couple of pages, and I'm so sorry you are having such a traumatic time) but I was wondering if someone could give me advice about being pregnant whilst in full time education. Im due to start my final yr undergrad in september, have plans to do a PGCE after that, and I've just found out that I'm 5 weeks gone. Abortion and anything of the nature is out of the question. I am happy, but also a little scared and dumbfounded and not really sure of what to do next. I've bought some prenatal vits and im trying to make sure im eating enough atm. Does anyone have experience of what I'm in for, or know anybody who went through something similar? Please quote me if anyone wants to reply to me as this is quite a busy thread at times and I might not be able to keep up!

    I also havent see a doc yet (I found out yday)...when should I get that sorted? And when can I expect my first scan? Sorry for all the questions!


    Thanks for any help
    Congrats

    You really should go see a doctor ASAP

    The logistics of it, my guess is your due date is right around April, which means you would be giving birth right around Easter break.

    Definitely possible to be pregnant and still be in uni, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.... my wife is proof of this and in my final year I had a friend who gave birth 3 days before her first scheduled exam, she still made it for the exam.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hey Guys,
    I am really freaked out right now.
    I went to a doctor today and she confirmed that I am 5+1 pregnant. You couldnt see anything though. I am supposed to ring her tomorrow to go through my blood test.

    My problem now is, that I am in a long-distance relationship. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 39 years old. I just told him that I am pregnant. I am on the pill, so dont ask me how we got here, but nothing is 100% secure.

    He told me that he was fired yesterday, that he got a panikattack when he got my sms. And he now threatens to kill himself. I dont know what to do. I didnt want this, but I cant just walk away and have an abortion. I also couldnt give the Baby away for adoption. So the only option for me is to keep it. But now i am really scared that he will do something stupid.

    What should I do? I am so down right now:eek:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Antigone89)
    Hey Guys,
    I am really freaked out right now.
    I went to a doctor today and she confirmed that I am 5+1 pregnant. You couldnt see anything though. I am supposed to ring her tomorrow to go through my blood test.

    My problem now is, that I am in a long-distance relationship. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 39 years old. I just told him that I am pregnant. I am on the pill, so dont ask me how we got here, but nothing is 100% secure.

    He told me that he was fired yesterday, that he got a panikattack when he got my sms. And he now threatens to kill himself. I dont know what to do. I didnt want this, but I cant just walk away and have an abortion. I also couldnt give the Baby away for adoption. So the only option for me is to keep it. But now i am really scared that he will do something stupid.

    What should I do? I am so down right now:eek:
    What do you want to do?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I dont know.
    I think it is pretty selfish from my boyfriend, to threaten to kill himself. He is in Hospital now, but what if he harms himself or makes his threat a reality?
    I am over 110km away from him and have no car. I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose him.
    But I think it would be quite unfair to leave me and the Baby, even if it was not planned.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I've lost 3 stone now in total. 12lbs to go until normal BMI.
    Congratulations
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Congrats

    You really should go see a doctor ASAP

    The logistics of it, my guess is your due date is right around April, which means you would be giving birth right around Easter break.

    Definitely possible to be pregnant and still be in uni, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.... my wife is proof of this and in my final year I had a friend who gave birth 3 days before her first scheduled exam, she still made it for the exam.
    Thankyou for your advice I expecting the due date to be around March time? Maybe i got it wrong!

    Wow....3 days..that's impressive I'm just a bit nervous about breaking the news to people like my tutors....I'm entirely sure how they'd take it tbh! But I'm ready for it Thanks again.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Antigone89)
    I dont know.
    I think it is pretty selfish from my boyfriend, to threaten to kill himself. He is in Hospital now, but what if he harms himself or makes his threat a reality?
    I am over 110km away from him and have no car. I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose him.
    But I think it would be quite unfair to leave me and the Baby, even if it was not planned.
    I'm not that much younger than your bf...... am quite surprised he would threaten to kill himself over something like this. Sure it is surprising and it's not really something most guys like to hear if they aren't ready for it.......but seems rather over the top... either way you may need to consider that it would be a high possibility you would need to go through this alone........... still doable but harder.

    Just make the best of it.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thankyou for your advice I expecting the due date to be around March time? Maybe i got it wrong!

    Wow....3 days..that's impressive I'm just a bit nervous about breaking the news to people like my tutors....I'm entirely sure how they'd take it tbh! But I'm ready for it Thanks again.
    Well you should have a better picture on due dates and stuff after you see the doctor.

    In regard to tutors, tbh most won't care They may tell you that it may be a good idea to defer if you can't cope or maybe they may be willing to put in some good words for you in regard to extenuating circumstances and all that. But the choice is still yours' My wife informed her tutor in the beginning of semester that she was as well and she didn't want to continue... but she told her that she should continue and finish the year at least. In hindsight I guess it was a good thing the tutor advised her so.

    Yah it was rather impressive because no one expected her to show up. But she did and she did quite well on all her exams, 65% average. I guess being unable to drink during the year must have rendered her to her books and desk for the academic year
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really sorry to butt into the thread due to what Dita is going through (I had a read through the last couple of pages, and I'm so sorry you are having such a traumatic time) but I was wondering if someone could give me advice about being pregnant whilst in full time education. Im due to start my final yr undergrad in september, have plans to do a PGCE after that, and I've just found out that I'm 5 weeks gone. Abortion and anything of the nature is out of the question. I am happy, but also a little scared and dumbfounded and not really sure of what to do next. I've bought some prenatal vits and im trying to make sure im eating enough atm. Does anyone have experience of what I'm in for, or know anybody who went through something similar? Please quote me if anyone wants to reply to me as this is quite a busy thread at times and I might not be able to keep up!

    I also havent see a doc yet (I found out yday)...when should I get that sorted? And when can I expect my first scan? Sorry for all the questions!


    Thanks for any help
    Me! It's still possible, I did it, I got pregnant in my first year, then caught on again so spent 2 years at uni pregnant, and it is easily do able, it's just keeping organised and up to date with your work so you as stressed out. I always thought that being at uni whilst pregnant is much easier than having a full time job, so I just got on with it! Like I said to Antigone, just get as much of the year done as you possibly can, then either intercalate or if you have the family support ect then see what you can do regarding carrying on and even completing it as EH said. Then you could enjoy your baby without the worry of going back, well until you do your PGCE anyway.

    I found it quite daunting telling the university, it's quite scary and all official. But they will only support you and try and get the best out of you. So there isn't really anything to worry about in that department.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Yah it was rather impressive because no one expected her to show up. But she did and she did quite well on all her exams, 65% average. I guess being unable to drink during the year must have rendered her to her books and desk for the academic year
    Oh shoot me x.x I was so happy with my 64% average. Then all my friends got 1sts. Then a girl has a baby and still gets a higher average than me? I really thought I'd done well. Not just ok or average but actually well. My Cambridge application is so doomed...

    My uni were nothing but supportive. I took a year out because she was born November of what would have been my final year and I felt I couldnt leave her that young and a 20 odd mile commute either. as I had a section, I couldnt have managed it and Im glad I had the time to be with her at home, neither way is right or wrong but starting my 3rd year the following academic year was the best decision for me and I successfully graduated a year ago. I got so much support of my tutors and my fellow students in my dissertation group too, who would email me notes when I couldnt be there. With the intercalation, I had to write a formal letter with the backing of my tutor saying blah blah i was committed and a letter from my GP confirming my pregnancy and the dates. That went to the Board Of Examiners who had the final say. I was waiting a few months which was quite nerve racking. When I was have the year out, I still had uni support just no access to Library/IT facilities etc. Only you know whats best, but I enjoyed being with her those first months.

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Congrats

    You really should go see a doctor ASAP

    The logistics of it, my guess is your due date is right around April, which means you would be giving birth right around Easter break.

    Definitely possible to be pregnant and still be in uni, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.... my wife is proof of this and in my final year I had a friend who gave birth 3 days before her first scheduled exam, she still made it for the exam.
    All very well if its a normal birth. I had a c section and in for 3 days and definately not in no state to do anything. You cant assume anything especially with such important exams. I didnt expect a section and had one at fully dilated. In most cases of course a vaginal birth is the "norm" but I just think women need to be open minded to complications.
    • Welcome Squad
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by HerRoyalHighness)
    All very well if its a normal birth. I had a c section and in for 3 days and definately not in no state to do anything. You cant assume anything especially with such important exams. I didnt expect a section and had one at fully dilated. In most cases of course a vaginal birth is the "norm" but I just think women need to be open minded to complications.
    aye, not only that but babies also don't always show up on schedule as well. My Lydia was 18 days overdue, Alex 15 over, and Jason 10 over, and then there are women who pop exceptionally early. Anything can happen.
    • Welcome Squad
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really sorry to butt into the thread due to what Dita is going through (I had a read through the last couple of pages, and I'm so sorry you are having such a traumatic time) but I was wondering if someone could give me advice about being pregnant whilst in full time education. Im due to start my final yr undergrad in september, have plans to do a PGCE after that, and I've just found out that I'm 5 weeks gone. Abortion and anything of the nature is out of the question. I am happy, but also a little scared and dumbfounded and not really sure of what to do next. I've bought some prenatal vits and im trying to make sure im eating enough atm. Does anyone have experience of what I'm in for, or know anybody who went through something similar? Please quote me if anyone wants to reply to me as this is quite a busy thread at times and I might not be able to keep up!

    I also havent see a doc yet (I found out yday)...when should I get that sorted? And when can I expect my first scan? Sorry for all the questions!


    Thanks for any help
    You should ring your surgery and tell them that you're pregnant and would like to make an initial appointment with a midwife. They MIGHT tell you that you need to do a pregnancy test with the doctor first, but mine never did, they just straight away made me a midwife appointment for a few weeks later.

    First scan tends to be 12 weeks unless there is some complication or other that requires a much earlier scan. (My first and only scan with Lydia was at 20 weeks but things progressed since then, most women get a 12 week scan now as their first, which is a dating scan to see more clearly how far along you are, and then a 20 week scan which is a foetal anomaly scan to check that the baby is developing okay. At the 20 week scan you can find out if you're having a boy or a girl, if you so wish, though if you're super lucky they might be able to tell at the 12 week scan, though it's rare, but they did when I was carrying Jason).

    You'll need to have some blood tests in a few weeks time, and you'll be filling out paperwork which has lots of questions such as whether there are any family histories of diseases and so on. You'll be given a folder with all your notes in, which you have to take to every midwife session, and in your last few weeks you tend to have to carry it around with you everywhere in case you go into labour whilst you're out and about.

    congratulations on your pregnancy
    • Welcome Squad
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Antigone89)
    Hey Guys,
    I am really freaked out right now.
    I went to a doctor today and she confirmed that I am 5+1 pregnant. You couldnt see anything though. I am supposed to ring her tomorrow to go through my blood test.

    My problem now is, that I am in a long-distance relationship. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 39 years old. I just told him that I am pregnant. I am on the pill, so dont ask me how we got here, but nothing is 100% secure.

    He told me that he was fired yesterday, that he got a panikattack when he got my sms. And he now threatens to kill himself. I dont know what to do. I didnt want this, but I cant just walk away and have an abortion. I also couldnt give the Baby away for adoption. So the only option for me is to keep it. But now i am really scared that he will do something stupid.

    What should I do? I am so down right now:eek:
    I'm sorry that your boyfriend is being so unsupportive. Having not met the guy it's hard to say what he will do next. Give him a little time perhaps and see whether or not he gets his head around it and calms down. *hugs*
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    I'm not that much younger than your bf...... am quite surprised he would threaten to kill himself over something like this. Sure it is surprising and it's not really something most guys like to hear if they aren't ready for it.......but seems rather over the top... either way you may need to consider that it would be a high possibility you would need to go through this alone........... still doable but harder.

    Just make the best of it.



    Well you should have a better picture on due dates and stuff after you see the doctor.

    In regard to tutors, tbh most won't care They may tell you that it may be a good idea to defer if you can't cope or maybe they may be willing to put in some good words for you in regard to extenuating circumstances and all that. But the choice is still yours' My wife informed her tutor in the beginning of semester that she was as well and she didn't want to continue... but she told her that she should continue and finish the year at least. In hindsight I guess it was a good thing the tutor advised her so.

    Yah it was rather impressive because no one expected her to show up. But she did and she did quite well on all her exams, 65% average. I guess being unable to drink during the year must have rendered her to her books and desk for the academic year
    Thanks for all the info and guidance My head has cleared a little more! Despite me really wanting kids and gelling really well with the ones ive met, its safe to say that I was a somewhat surprised...I'm not sure reality has fully kicked in yet. And thanks especially for the info regarding uni tutors and scans! I will keep you posted and I will stop posting anon once all the important people have been told, i.e. my family etc. Thanks again
    Edit: lol i totally anon failed the first time round, so if anyone saw my username, please dnt blurt it :&/
    (Original post by balloon_parade)
    Me! It's still possible, I did it, I got pregnant in my first year, then caught on again so spent 2 years at uni pregnant, and it is easily do able, it's just keeping organised and up to date with your work so you as stressed out. I always thought that being at uni whilst pregnant is much easier than having a full time job, so I just got on with it! Like I said to Antigone, just get as much of the year done as you possibly can, then either intercalate or if you have the family support ect then see what you can do regarding carrying on and even completing it as EH said. Then you could enjoy your baby without the worry of going back, well until you do your PGCE anyway.

    I found it quite daunting telling the university, it's quite scary and all official. But they will only support you and try and get the best out of you. So there isn't really anything to worry about in that department.

    Good luck and keep us posted!

    (Original post by HerRoyalHighness)
    My uni were nothing but supportive. I took a year out because she was born November of what would have been my final year and I felt I couldnt leave her that young and a 20 odd mile commute either. as I had a section, I couldnt have managed it and Im glad I had the time to be with her at home, neither way is right or wrong but starting my 3rd year the following academic year was the best decision for me and I successfully graduated a year ago. I got so much support of my tutors and my fellow students in my dissertation group too, who would email me notes when I couldnt be there. With the intercalation, I had to write a formal letter with the backing of my tutor saying blah blah i was committed and a letter from my GP confirming my pregnancy and the dates. That went to the Board Of Examiners who had the final say. I was waiting a few months which was quite nerve racking. When I was have the year out, I still had uni support just no access to Library/IT facilities etc. Only you know whats best, but I enjoyed being with her those first months.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    You should ring your surgery and tell them that you're pregnant and would like to make an initial appointment with a midwife. They MIGHT tell you that you need to do a pregnancy test with the doctor first, but mine never did, they just straight away made me a midwife appointment for a few weeks later.

    First scan tends to be 12 weeks unless there is some complication or other that requires a much earlier scan. (My first and only scan with Lydia was at 20 weeks but things progressed since then, most women get a 12 week scan now as their first, which is a dating scan to see more clearly how far along you are, and then a 20 week scan which is a foetal anomaly scan to check that the baby is developing okay. At the 20 week scan you can find out if you're having a boy or a girl, if you so wish, though if you're super lucky they might be able to tell at the 12 week scan, though it's rare, but they did when I was carrying Jason).

    You'll need to have some blood tests in a few weeks time, and you'll be filling out paperwork which has lots of questions such as whether there are any family histories of diseases and so on. You'll be given a folder with all your notes in, which you have to take to every midwife session, and in your last few weeks you tend to have to carry it around with you everywhere in case you go into labour whilst you're out and about.

    congratulations on your pregnancy
    Thanks for all the info and guidance My head has cleared a little more! Despite me really wanting kids and gelling really well with the ones ive met, its safe to say that I was a somewhat surprised...I'm not sure reality has fully kicked in yet. And thanks especially for the info regarding uni tutors and scans! I will keep you posted and I will stop posting anon once all the important people have been told, i.e. my family etc. Thanks again

    Edit: Lol I totally anon failed on my first attempt at typing this...if anyone saw my username, please dont blurt it!
    • #1
    #1

    Meh...sorry I wrote twice, my computer messed up :/
    • Welcome Squad
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Edit: Lol I totally anon failed on my first attempt at typing this...if anyone saw my username, please dont blurt it!
    I didn't see it
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Antigone89)
    Hey Guys,
    I am really freaked out right now.
    I went to a doctor today and she confirmed that I am 5+1 pregnant. You couldnt see anything though. I am supposed to ring her tomorrow to go through my blood test.

    My problem now is, that I am in a long-distance relationship. I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 39 years old. I just told him that I am pregnant. I am on the pill, so dont ask me how we got here, but nothing is 100% secure.

    He told me that he was fired yesterday, that he got a panikattack when he got my sms. And he now threatens to kill himself. I dont know what to do. I didnt want this, but I cant just walk away and have an abortion. I also couldnt give the Baby away for adoption. So the only option for me is to keep it. But now i am really scared that he will do something stupid.

    What should I do? I am so down right now:eek:
    Sounds like he's trying to bully you. Has he always been this mentally unstable?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hello, thanks for your answers.
    Well since I met him (in hospital about one and a half years ago) he has gone throght mostly depressed phases. I know they can be hard, becaus I was there because of Depression myself. But I worked on my problems and on myself, which was pretty hard, but I am fine now.

    I wrote a lot of SMS with him today. And he told me he was fired on Wednesday again. He must have been talking to his parents (wich i havent met yet:mad:) and they seem to have told him what an ass he was yesterday.

    But he really hurt me, he wrote me all the time, that he would kill himself, that my little baby would never see his father. That I had to choose betwen an abortion or him killing himself. That was all I got from him yesterday. That I misused his trust (wich I DIDENT), that I cheated him into all this. I just told him, that he had the choice, to make the Pill more "secure" he could have used condoms aswell, and that if he didnt want children he should stay away from sex completely.

    Now today he is totally different. We could go throgh this together......
    But on the other hand now he is surprised, that I am hurt, and suspicios towards him
    He says I never loved him properly, if I choose to break up now. But how can I trust this unstable person? Its not me hwo threatend to jump off a skyscraper.
    Its not me who turned away from him. I feel like I cant trust him anymore. How is someone in his state of mind going to take care of a baby?

    And he still says, that If I really loved him, I would fight for him, not merely let him walk away. He told me, that I was just after ruining his life and getting money for the Baby out of him. That I used him.
    But thats not true. I was always there for him. I reassured him, when he called in tears in the middle of the night. I was always the one who came all the way to his flat by train/car. Never did he come to me.
    It just makes me so sad. And now he makes tries to make me feel bad. All is my fault. I wouldnt love him. I would take all this so "cool".
    I dont know what to do next.
    We said to phone this evening. But I dont want anymore threats or be told again, what a BAD person I am and how I am ruining my life.
    How can he tell me that???
    An abortin would be a 08/15 thing. Until the tenth week, it would just be a tiny operation, he already asked his doctor.
    I feel so sad about it. I am keeping the Baby, I just dont know what to to with the father. I really loved him, but with his behaviour he now destrojes all my feelings for him.
    And then he has the nerve to make me responsible for it

    He sounds like an idiot. Havin said this if he is already suffering mental health issues then this may not be him and he is finding it very hrd to cope. Still doesnt excuse his actions, should understand you dont need his attention seekin responses. I think all you can do, is say look Im keeping this baby and whether or not you wish to be part of his life is your decsion. Personally, I would not stay in this relationship, no good for you and certainly not good for a child to be in. Let him make his own mind up-Dont let it influence you hun, you seem very level headed.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 16, 2017
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.