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    (Original post by Sapphire_Eyes)
    Erich Hartmann: Glad nappy changing is going well and bonding with son is too

    Erich Hartmann: I would say the weekend would be slightly better as you get weekends to spend as a family together. Just remember you still got skype/writing emails/letters so you can still be in touch and also remember to take loads of photos as well. My dad worked full time and occasionally worked in the week and came back at weekends and my mum was stay at home until shortly after I turned 16 she did do some work and go back college as well though.

    Erich Hartmann: Oh right (regards to why its just you on commute) it does it would be unfair and the reasons for keeping children in one place is very amicable and logical.
    Love the time I get to be home, been away for a week, really miss the family when I need to be away, especially in the evenings when am all alone.

    My wife also prefers that I'm back for the weekends and also together during any holidays.

    We do skype when I'm in Zurich, sometimes we have Skype dinners... kind of funny sometimes because usually in Zurich I have light dinners but heavier lunches, but the opposite when in Britain, so my daughter keeps asking me why I have so little to eat and whether she could send some food through the computer.

    (Original post by Sapphire_Eyes)
    Hehehe another huge catch up. Had an awesome placement it’s just a shame the mice didn’t behave so couldn’t to an extent finish the project! Got a lovely surprise on last day flapjacks and a gorgeous lil mouse of my mine (i’ll upload a small pic) Saw supervisor and miss dated an appointment with him so think i’ve slightly annoyed my supervisor as I didn’t turn up to a meeting I thought was the following week so sent a huge email apologising back to him. Its slightly bad as he is head of biology as well. I’ll apologise again on Tuesday when I have a lecture with him.
    Love it when you do these big catch-ups.

    I'm afraid of mice

    I'm sure your supervisor will be fine, miscommunication do happen every now and then.

    (Original post by Sapphire_Eyes)
    On the debate of working/children me and my bf got it sorted for when we decide to have kids and grow up i’ll be the one working hard (makes sense with me wanting to work in a potential career in research) and exploiting the use out of my degree and a potential MSc and PhD as much as possible whilst he’ll have a part time job/house husband work plus he has health issues so he wont be able to work as long. What are your views on this? Be nice to hear some sort of feedback.
    It depends on a lot on the circle of people you hang out with, if you have a tonne of shallow friends like a lot of the ones I'm around due to the industry I work in, then he will find himself getting judged or being called all sorts of names. In a way I would think it can be depressing as well seeing all your friends wearing the latest apparels and clothes as well as driving that shiny new BMW while he goes around in the family people carrier. It does put a dent in your ego I suppose.

    But it makes perfect sense if the person who has less earning potential to stay back and be with the kids, especially if the net gain from work turns out to be minimal. Important is for the person who isn't working to also have other activities that he or she is into like a hobby or sport or something. Otherwise it's a sure recipe for a disaster. Monetary wise, now my wife is completely staying at home other than around 8 hours a week where she does some monitoring work for the business we had set up. Before she had our son she did work around 15 hours of paid part time employment, but now that has stopped... now she says 25% of all income after taxes and expenses belongs to her She calls that a "wife-tax" and it's to be paid as promptly as the 50p tax That is then her money and she could do whatever she wants with it. Makes her feel better and a sense of it that she has some money of her own.

    Personally? I probably couldn't be the stay-at-home dad. It would be too difficult for me to get used to not going to work, right now having paternity leave where I only work 10 days per month is already hard enough when the other days I'm not working. Plus I just feel it would be a waste if I didn't use my qualifications and trainings productively.
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Not sure if you've worked anywhere before, but you'll come to realize that if you don't work and build up your career in your 20s and 30s then you'll be nowhere career wise.

    I'm not surprised people are complaining about the cost of a nanny, they do cost a lot of money and keep going up each year.
    I have. I have been working part-time as a freelance graphical artist for over 4 years now. While my friends thought they couldn't get any other job that babysitting for 3.50 euros an hour (yes, that is actually the local rate here; it's ridiculous) I taught myself how to do a specific kind of graphics (mainly isometric environments) because I knew there was a high demand, and I still hold down 2 or 3 jobs at a time today, although I usually try to get it down to 1 during term time.
    It is a completely flexible job, working from home, choosing my own hours; and it pays really well. It'll definitely come in handy if I ever end up with any children. And no I am not a particularly amazing artist; I just practiced how to do something not many people can.

    I've never had a nanny. My neighbour and my cousin babysat maybe less than 10 times throughout my entire life if my parents really had to be in Amsterdam until morning.

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Tell me something, I'm presuming you went to school and wasn't home-schooled by your parents. How many of your classmates and friends did you know off that had parents who were there when they were at home?

    Tell me another thing, each year my family will cost me around £48,000 to shelter, educate, transport, feed and clothe, this goes up every year as well. I could probably bring it down to £30,000 per year or so. Can you tell me where I could find a job which allowed me to do the same as your parents? I would love to have one of those as well... I have a BSc in Finance and Marketing and a LL.B, will have an MBA too if that helps.
    We don't actually have home-schooling in the Netherlands. As for my friends in primary school: most had mums who were at home and had a job there at the same time; e.g. one was running a hotel and the other was a translator. (I didn't have many friends.) One of my friends had a nanny (only one in my class as far as I remember), one was simply left at home by her parents most the day. I think probably about 25% of the kids in my class had stay-at-home mums, but none I really played with so I am not entirely sure. Oh and one of my friends, her mum was one of our teachers - so they'd just leave and go home together. Also a lot of them had divorced parents, so on the days the one parent had them the parent usually made sure to be at home with them. That's about the breakdown, I think. This is of about 19 kids btw. There were another 12 on top of that, but they were refugees, and I am not sure what their parents did. They were all deported to Germany when I was 12 : (

    I'm sorry but I don't know enough about you or Marketing to have any job recommendations for you. (I am assuming that was a rhetorical question though.) Anyway:
    Your wife could take up isometric pixel art; I earn way more than minimum wage and if she can contribute from home (which is where I am assuming she wants to be with the kids, as she is currently) then maybe it wouldn't matter so much if you earn less at a job that doesn't involve leaving the country every week.
    I don't know much about career-building, but I haven't even graduated yet and I have secured a position teaching at a field school next summer, and this is coming from an archaeologist, of whom people usually assume career prospects are zero. I simply e-mailed an archaeologist and asked around a bit. You are far more qualified and experienced than I am so I have no idea how unprofessional this is going to across, but is it at all possible to send a letter to a company asking if you can offer them your services? Are you signed up to any of those job websites that send you e-mails with open positions at companies that match your requirements? Who knows something could come along in the next year or so. My career-strategy when I graduate will probably involve e-mailing several museums (in the Middle East?) and from there trying to work my way up to director or something. Or teach. (I'll get back to you on this strategy in 10 years when I am homeless and starving, or running the archaeological museum in Aman.)

    (Ok, there you have my life story. Lets' hope I never become a politician.)

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Personally? I probably couldn't be the stay-at-home dad.
    Same. I'd go insane.
    But that's also not a luxury everyone can afford. It's is not fair to stick the woman with the child just 'cause it was like that during the course of history.
    (I am assuming your wife wanted to though xP Or I hope so anyway!)

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Plus I just feel it would be a waste if I didn't use my qualifications and trainings productively.
    Very true. I admire your commitment to that! My parents never had that luxury and I doubt I will; archaeology and art aren't generally degrees that make careers and I do actually know several homeless archaeologists. Then again I enjoy lots of things so I don't mind personally ^^

    One more thing: Skyping is such a good idea. That's awesome.

    And thanks for not being angry. It's just a discussion. I do really admire what you do for your family.
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Love the time I get to be home, been away for a week, really miss the family when I need to be away, especially in the evenings when am all alone.

    My wife also prefers that I'm back for the weekends and also together during any holidays.

    We do skype when I'm in Zurich, sometimes we have Skype dinners... kind of funny sometimes because usually in Zurich I have light dinners but heavier lunches, but the opposite when in Britain, so my daughter keeps asking me why I have so little to eat and whether she could send some food through the computer.
    Well as long as its works for you all isn't that the best thing and that sounds so sweet with your daughter awww

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Love it when you do these big catch-ups.
    Excellant

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    I'm afraid of mice
    Its the TY mouse Tiny i've called him squeaky very cute, didnt know you was scared of mice.

    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    I'm sure your supervisor will be fine, miscommunication do happen every now and then.
    I hope so, it wasn't delibriate or horrible, its slightly bad considering he's head of Biology as well. I've done loads of extra work so hopefully he'll be happier and sent an email as well for him asking about a trip down to where i've done my placement


    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    It depends on a lot on the circle of people you hang out with, if you have a tonne of shallow friends like a lot of the ones I'm around due to the industry I work in, then he will find himself getting judged or being called all sorts of names. In a way I would think it can be depressing as well seeing all your friends wearing the latest apparels and clothes as well as driving that shiny new BMW while he goes around in the family people carrier. It does put a dent in your ego I suppose.

    But it makes perfect sense if the person who has less earning potential to stay back and be with the kids, especially if the net gain from work turns out to be minimal. Important is for the person who isn't working to also have other activities that he or she is into like a hobby or sport or something. Otherwise it's a sure recipe for a disaster. Monetary wise, now my wife is completely staying at home other than around 8 hours a week where she does some monitoring work for the business we had set up. Before she had our son she did work around 15 hours of paid part time employment, but now that has stopped... now she says 25% of all income after taxes and expenses belongs to her She calls that a "wife-tax" and it's to be paid as promptly as the 50p tax That is then her money and she could do whatever she wants with it. Makes her feel better and a sense of it that she has some money of her own.

    Personally? I probably couldn't be the stay-at-home dad. It would be too difficult for me to get used to not going to work, right now having paternity leave where I only work 10 days per month is already hard enough when the other days I'm not working. Plus I just feel it would be a waste if I didn't use my qualifications and trainings productively.
    The friends i've got are really nice and lovely and its one of your mutrual friends who got us together. He doesn't want to drive he'd rather walk/bus if needs be. I'm rather small (5'2) so only need a tiny car (when I learn) to get around from A-B. He's friends are the same as well and he goes out and meets then, the stay at home wont be for a while and in the meantime hes trying to find work and he'll properly work part-time or in an area so holidays are similar to school holidays. No-one would have have a shot at been horrible anyway not whilst going through me and I can/will be just as bad if not worse have no sympathy for people who would be like that.

    Haha sounds awesome with your wife. He wants a dog when we live together I have a feeling it will happen as well. I dont know if I would like to at least stay at home or reduce hours would be nice to at least use leave when I have kids.

    I am very driven and passionate about aiming high because of a bad education when I was younger its the case of 'your wrong I can do it, I'm right' mentality and he supports me loads with uni as well.
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    (Original post by Zenobia)
    I have. I have been working part-time as a freelance graphical artist for over 4 years now. While my friends thought they couldn't get any other job that babysitting for 3.50 euros an hour (yes, that is actually the local rate here; it's ridiculous) I taught myself how to do a specific kind of graphics (mainly isometric environments) because I knew there was a high demand, and I still hold down 2 or 3 jobs at a time today, although I usually try to get it down to 1 during term time.
    It is a completely flexible job, working from home, choosing my own hours; and it pays really well. It'll definitely come in handy if I ever end up with any children. And no I am not a particularly amazing artist; I just practiced how to do something not many people can.
    OK, doesn't sound like something I could do. In any case there are plenty of graphic artist here without a job.

    (Original post by Zenobia)
    We don't actually have home-schooling in the Netherlands. As for my friends in primary school: most had mums who were at home and had a job there at the same time; e.g. one was running a hotel and the other was a translator. (I didn't have many friends.) One of my friends had a nanny (only one in my class as far as I remember), one was simply left at home by her parents most the day. I think probably about 25% of the kids in my class had stay-at-home mums, but none I really played with so I am not entirely sure. Oh and one of my friends, her mum was one of our teachers - so they'd just leave and go home together. Also a lot of them had divorced parents, so on the days the one parent had them the parent usually made sure to be at home with them.
    It's actually very unusual to have a mum at home in Britain, most families can barely pay their mortgage unless there are 2 incomes, sure one may have a job with some time flexibility, but it isn't a usual thing to have flex-time in many industries.

    In the school my daughter goes to 80% have 2 working parents.

    (Original post by Zenobia)
    I'm sorry but I don't know enough about you or Marketing to have any job recommendations for you. (I am assuming that was a rhetorical question though.) Anyway:
    Your wife could take up isometric pixel art; I earn way more than minimum wage and if she can contribute from home (which is where I am assuming she wants to be with the kids, as she is currently) then maybe it wouldn't matter so much if you earn less at a job that doesn't involve leaving the country every week.
    She enjoys being a stay at home mum, I like it that she is one because it means my kids have a mum that is always there for them..... its already a big step-up from me because during my growing up years I returned to a house with a maid Both my parents had rather important jobs that needed long hours and travelling. But its not something I hold against them.

    As for her taking up pixel art.... I think I prefer her to live off "wife tax"

    Me doing a different job? Yes it's a possibility but right now the economy isn't good enough for a change of job.

    (Original post by Zenobia)
    Are you signed up to any of those job websites that send you e-mails with open positions at companies that match your requirements? Who knows something could come along in the next year or so. My career-strategy when I graduate will probably involve e-mailing several museums (in the Middle East?) and from there trying to work my way up to director or something. Or teach. (I'll get back to you on this strategy in 10 years when I am homeless and starving, or running the archaeological museum in Aman.)
    I get on average 2 interviews each week Some as far away as China and Singapore. But it isn't the type of work I could do and spend more time at home.

    In this industry its not easy to go to a lower position and more than likely once you reach a certain position they will tell you that you are too old to do a more junior position, so you can only keep on going up or out.

    (Original post by Zenobia)
    Same. I'd go insane.
    But that's also not a luxury everyone can afford. It's is not fair to stick the woman with the child just 'cause it was like that during the course of history.
    (I am assuming your wife wanted to though xP Or I hope so anyway!)
    Why isn't it fair?

    Well she does enjoy staying at home, she is pursuing a degree in psychology but it is on a part time time basis and will be that way for a while. Of course she would love it if she also had a career but she has no problem being a stay at home mum for as long as I keep paying "wife tax"



    (Original post by Zenobia)
    Very true. I admire your commitment to that! My parents never had that luxury and I doubt I will; archaeology and art aren't generally degrees that make careers and I do actually know several homeless archaeologists. Then again I enjoy lots of things so I don't mind personally ^^

    And thanks for not being angry. It's just a discussion. I do really admire what you do for your family.
    Well my parents would probably kill me if they found out I wasn't putting the education they had invested in me to good use. Well homeless archaeologist or not at least you are doing what you wanted to do, not something I had the choice of.

    But I'm sure you won't have problems finding jobs, these days even real estate developments require archaeologist especially in areas where they want to build high rise buildings. High rise is going to be the way of the future in time to come.
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    (Original post by Annie72)
    Him?..........
    Oh aye it's a lad. Didn't I say? :o:p
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    (Original post by balloon_parade)
    p.s I got married on Sat! It was fantastic! I shall post a few sneaky pictures later x
    Bloody hell! Congrats!!
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    (Original post by Tufts)
    Oh aye it's a lad. Didn't I say? :o:p

    Aww congratulations .You more than likely did say it was a boy, but in my old age I must have forgotten
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    (Original post by Tufts)
    Oh aye it's a lad. Didn't I say? :o:p

    Congrats

    I don't actually recall reading you were having a baby....whoops
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    congratulations bp you look beautiful in your pics x

    I'm having a few issues with Lydia's bottom two teeth. Both are really wobbly - one in particular is hanging on by just a bit of gum but she screams blue murder if you try and pull it. Ugh.
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    PMP: Is it going to be removed? I had 1 like that but it was in the back couldnt eat or drink anything. Had it removed with a small anestic (Just to where the tooth was) so much better, hope they come out before anything exterme like that happens. Mine was on the slightly more exterme as it had to come out.
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    My sister had a lot of her teeth pulled at the dentist; she was slow changing them because she had asthma.

    poor lydia! X
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    PMP: LOVE your dog! Regarding Lydia, I was like that and mine fell out in my sleep if I remember correctly!
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    Heres a few snaps of the wedding, still don't have the 'official' shots so here are a few some family/friends took:


    All in all a great day!

    In other news, Milly jumped on Gareth's foot and broke his toe and fractured his metatarsal, so there is a huge chance he will have to be put into plaster for 6 weeks! eek!

    Hope everyone is well xx
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    Great photos! Woooow Mils and Bels look like each other so much! Bet they don't like hearing that? =P I could never see how I looked in any way similar to my sister.
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    (Original post by Zenobia)
    Great photos! Woooow Mils and Bels look like each other so much! Bet they don't like hearing that? =P I could never see how I looked in any way similar to my sister.

    I don't think they mind! The closest I'll get to having twins!!
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    You look so gorgeous BP! What a beautiful dress, i love all the detail on it

    Hope Gareth is okay, good job it was after the wedding! xx
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    (Original post by balloon_parade)
    Heres a few snaps of the wedding, still don't have the 'official' shots so here are a few some family/friends took:


    All in all a great day!

    In other news, Milly jumped on Gareth's foot and broke his toe and fractured his metatarsal, so there is a huge chance he will have to be put into plaster for 6 weeks! eek!

    Hope everyone is well xx
    Thank god this happened AFTER the wedding! You look stunning and the girls look so alike!
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    you look beautiful bp and your girls are adorable.

    well Lydia's tooth did come out, and now the one next to it is really wobbly. I estimate another day or two and that'll be her third tooth out.

    Jason is doing my head in - he keeps putting all the dog's food into her water, so it ruins both the water and the food. THREE times he did it today. ARGH! Sneaky little monkey he does it as soon as my back is turned.

    so tomorrow is the day of the dreaded colposcopy. If all goes well, will be a massive weight off my shoulders.

    I am well, still not looking very pregnant at 17 weeks today! And baby moving about.

    BP-Hope Gareth recovers and again ditto im glad it happened afterwards. Girls look soo lovely and you looked beautiful.

    PMP-all these teeth will be breaking your kitty! HAHA

    Tufts-wow a boy-Congratulations!
 
 
 
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