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    (Original post by balloon_parade)
    I would never say anything to her because there probably isn't really a problem! I just wasn't taking the range of development into account.

    I didn't realise Ella had hearing loss, does that effect her balance and such?

    She sounds like a loon! I love it when children get really excited about stuff, it's so cute!



    You should just do what is right for you, it is probably a good idea to finish university before having a baby as then you can just go straight into a career when the baby is old enough. But that's just logistics really, I think completing a degree with a baby is definitely manageable (having done it myself) - it's just a case of being more organised.

    Nobody is 'ready' for a baby, regardless of age. Nobody. It's hard to have a real idea of what it is really like until you have your own- good things and bad. I currently work with mothers of all ages and this seems to be one thing that every new mum can relate to.

    I say just do what you want! Who gives a stuff what other people think, you're ready, your fiancé is ready and most importantly you are financially secure. Don't let what other people might think hold you back from anything you want to do.
    Yes they thought she had glue ear which she did and couldnt get a accurate pic of the hearing loss so last yr when the grommets in done a brain stem test which revealed she is virtually deaf in the left ear. so its very important to look after the other ear prevent glue ear etc in it its affected her speech and stuff but shes coming on nicely now xx
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    (Original post by Tufts)
    Do you know that iggle piggle has a SERIOUS dose of cammel toe?
    haha, I hadn't noticed! I bet that's all I can look at now,


    HRH: Ah it's good to hear she is coming along nicely now though She is such a little cutie!



    Anyone got any good slow-cooker (or general actually,l) family meal recipes? We eat everything, no allergies or anything. Just fancy sprucing up the meals! I tend to just see what's in and make soup or pasta bake at the moment, I thought it might be nice to try something new.
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    Has anyone here brought a 3 year old on a holiday trip before?

    Is it a fairly difficult thing? Am thinking of bringing the LO with me to Switzerland during her half term break, never brought her on a flight before and the mummy isn't coming along as she doesn't want to fly.

    Anyone got any tips or ideas on this issue?

    (Original post by balloon_parade)

    Anyone got any good slow-cooker (or general actually,l) family meal recipes? We eat everything, no allergies or anything. Just fancy sprucing up the meals! I tend to just see what's in and make soup or pasta bake at the moment, I thought it might be nice to try something new.
    Are you after a stew or soupy based recipe? Any particular cuisine? eg British, Italian, etc?
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Has anyone here brought a 3 year old on a holiday trip before?

    Is it a fairly difficult thing? Am thinking of bringing the LO with me to Switzerland during her half term break, never brought her on a flight before and the mummy isn't coming along as she doesn't want to fly.
    I took DD and DS1 on holiday twice in 2008. First time, DD was 2 years 6 months old, and DS1 was 8 months old.
    Second time, DD was less than a month off turning 3, and DS1 was 12 months old.

    It was fine both times. DD was much less difficult to take than DS1! Taking babies is much more awkward - you have to take nappies, a pram, and consider where to buy baby food. Not to mention the fact that they don't get their own seat on the plane, nor do they get their own luggage allowance. (only benefit is that it's cheaper to take an infant than a child, but that's about the only saving grace).

    I mean, obviously all kids are different, but I'm sure your DD will enjoy it
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Has anyone here brought a 3 year old on a holiday trip before?

    Is it a fairly difficult thing? Am thinking of bringing the LO with me to Switzerland during her half term break, never brought her on a flight before and the mummy isn't coming along as she doesn't want to fly.

    Anyone got any tips or ideas on this issue?



    Are you after a stew or soupy based recipe? Any particular cuisine? eg British, Italian, etc?

    Anything! Like I said, we aren't a picky bunch!


    My daughter is 3 and if I think it would be fine taking her. I would just talk to her a lot about planes and holidays beforehand. To keep her occupied on the plane/during the long wait I would take colouring books/books and perhaps something like a DS. (Just like what you'd take on a long car journey!)I wouldn't have thought it would be too difficult or stressful. I would definitely do it if I were you, it's like a little adventure!
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    I don't have a slow cooker so I can't help there
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    (Original post by balloon_parade)
    Anything! Like I said, we aren't a picky bunch!


    My daughter is 3 and if I think it would be fine taking her. I would just talk to her a lot about planes and holidays beforehand. To keep her occupied on the plane/during the long wait I would take colouring books/books and perhaps something like a DS. (Just like what you'd take on a long car journey!)I wouldn't have thought it would be too difficult or stressful. I would definitely do it if I were you, it's like a little adventure!
    Well a little adventure it is.


    Some recipes we do with the slow cooker.


    This is an old time favourite I used to do when I was living in USA, every now and then I will make it for old time sake LOL, but it's really good.
    Chicken Ala King.

    4 cups diced chicken breast.
    1 big onion, finely chopped.
    1 cup celery diced.
    1 cup green peppers.
    2 cups white mushroom sliced.
    2 can of cream of mushroom soup. (Bachelors or Heinz brand works best)
    2 cups frozen peas.
    2tsp of mixed herbs.
    1 tsp of pepper.
    1/2 cup cold water.
    1 cup double cream (optional)

    Combine all ingredients except the celery, green peppers and double cream. Let it cook in the slow cooker for 6 hours on low, then add the green peppers and frozen peas let it cook on high for 10-15 mins or till the peppers is cooked to your liking then add the cream into it if you wish to make it richer.

    Serve over rice or cous cous. I normally have it in a bread bowl. A thing to note, sometime back I accidentally emptied 1 can of tomato soup instead of chicken soup into the cooker, decided to continue with another can and it does taste quite good as well. My wife preferred the tomato soup variant over the mushroom soup.


    US pot roast.

    1 beef joint (the same kind used for the Sunday lunch)
    2 large onions, sliced.
    2 cans French Onion soup.
    2-3 tbsp dried thyme leafs.
    1-2 bay leaf.
    1/4 tsp rosemary.
    2 tsp pepper
    1 tsp salt
    2 cloves of garlic some sliced to be placed into slits, the rest finely chopped.
    1.5 cups of red wine. Pinot Noir works best.

    Vegetables :-

    Amount depends on the size of your slow cooker but generally

    4 carrots, sliced.
    2 parsnips, sliced.
    2 cups of diced celery.
    2 cups of sliced leek.
    4-6 medium sized potatoes. Cut into 4
    1 medium sized Swede. Diced.


    Make around 12 slits into beef with a knife, place a garlic into each slit. Rub the beef with salt and pepper and a 3 tbsp of red wine.

    Sear and seal the beef on a very hot pan with butter.

    Lazy way of doing it :-
    Combine everything into the slow cooker (including the butter used for searing) and turn on to high for 1 hour, then turn to low for 5-7 hours. Generally how it is done in most American homes as well.

    When my wife makes it, only the meat, onions, garlic 2 carrots, leek and seasoning is put into the slow cooker. She prefers to roast the others separately in the oven with a bit of cayenne pepper. Matter of preference and whether time is a constraint or not.

    To serve, take everything out then thicken the gravy with some flour. Goes really well with some garlic bread as well though generally on it's own is more than a meal of its own.

    Should be enough to serve 4 adults and enough left overs for next day lunch for 1



    This is a common Hong Kong or southern China dish. Usually done in the colder months. I don't know what's the English name for it, but it's really good especially on a cold evening. Our former maid improved it a bit here over the years. But here goes.

    1.5 lbs of beef (In Britain usually I will buy eye round or rump) Trim off all fats, then cut it into long strips. Alternatively you could use pork shoulder as well.
    2 large red onion minced.
    4" of ginger, skinned and sliced.
    1/3 cup Oyster sauce. (Lee Kum Kee brand please)
    1/4 cup Light Soy Sauce.
    1 tsp sugar (brown is best)
    1 tsp salt
    2 tsp ground pepper.
    1-4 tsp cracked chilli flakes (depends on how spicy you want it)
    1/2 cup Chinese cooking wine (optional)
    2 tbsp sesame seed oil.

    Vegetables :-
    2 bell peppers. Cut into strips.
    1 cup corn.
    1 cup peas.
    2 carrots sliced
    1-2 cup sliced mushrooms (****ake is best, but normal English white mushrooms work just as well)

    1-2 cups of spring onions, cut into 1/4 inch pieces.

    Combine everything other than the vegetables into the slow cooker and cook for 4 hours on low, add vegetables other than the spring onions then cook for 1 hour on high.

    5 mins before serving add in the spring onions and give it a good stir.

    Serve with rice

    Admittedly this recipe does call for a few extra ingredients to make it authentic but you can't get them in Britain unless you're really familiar with buying oriental condiments which even I'm not LOL.



    This one is my wife's favourite, it is a Chinese dish my aunt who was visiting from China made for her. Traditionally done using Chinese rice wine and in a claypot over a charcoal stove..... but it could be made using slow cooker and stuff that are quite easily available in a Tesco

    Wine Chicken Rice.

    1 chicken carcass for stock. (Optional)

    1 cup shredded ginger per person.
    A quarter chicken per person (People in the orient generally dislike chicken breast or chicken without bones to it, but my wife does it with deboned chicken leg quarters. Usually done with free range chicken)
    1/2 cup per person ****ake mushrooms sliced (Doesn't have to be though, normal white mushrooms work just as well)
    1/2 clove garlic per person minced.
    1/4 tsp pepper per person
    2/3 cup Green peas per person.
    2/3 cup Bean sprouts per person.
    1 tbsp Sesame oil per person.
    1 serving of rice per person.


    300ml of rice wine per person failing which you can Dry White Wine.... but to get to as close as the original taste as possible :-

    150ml Dry White Wine.
    25ml Dry Sherry.
    125ml Apple or white grape Juice.

    I would personally recommend using grape juice instead of apple or a mixture of both.

    Turn on the slow cooker to high, add the ginger and garlic together with the sesame oil, let it be till it heats up stirring every now and then, add the carcass and chicken pieces (if you are deboning the chicken, remove the skin and fat but place the bones in). Add half the liquid together with the mushrooms. Let it cook for an hour on high, then add the remainder of the liquid and keep it on low for 4-6 hours. 1 hour before serving add the green peas and bean sprouts. Serve with rice.

    When it comes to cooking the rice, my wife normally boils the rice in the slow cooker on high, what she does is she uses the easy cook white rice, she rinses it with hot water 2-3 times then 2 times with cold water or till the water isn't starchy. Remove the carcass and bones from the slow cooker, place the rice in and turn it to high. This step takes some practice so I don't recommend it. Much easier to just cook it in a separate pan

    Serve hot



    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    I took DD and DS1 on holiday twice in 2008. First time, DD was 2 years 6 months old, and DS1 was 8 months old.
    Second time, DD was less than a month off turning 3, and DS1 was 12 months old.

    It was fine both times. DD was much less difficult to take than DS1! Taking babies is much more awkward - you have to take nappies, a pram, and consider where to buy baby food. Not to mention the fact that they don't get their own seat on the plane, nor do they get their own luggage allowance. (only benefit is that it's cheaper to take an infant than a child, but that's about the only saving grace).

    I mean, obviously all kids are different, but I'm sure your DD will enjoy it
    I hope she enjoys it, it would be a long way back if she didn't It is actually a working trip for me, it is the usual week of the month where I have to spend it at HQ. The difference with this week is it coincides with Family Day and 2 days where you are encouraged to bring your kids to office.

    You took the kids on the flight on your own or hubby was around? How did you manage with boarding the flight and all?
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)

    You took the kids on the flight on your own or hubby was around? How did you manage with boarding the flight and all?
    ah no eek not on my own, I'd have struggled so much on my own! (I could handle one child on my own, but not two for a holiday I don't think!)

    First trip was with DH, and second trip was with my mam (DH was working). It was Spain both times (Costa Brava) so not massively long flights.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    ah no eek not on my own, I'd have struggled so much on my own! (I could handle one child on my own, but not two for a holiday I don't think!)

    First trip was with DH, and second trip was with my mam (DH was working). It was Spain both times (Costa Brava) so not massively long flights.
    The flight to Zurich isn't too long, around 90 mins or so.

    Getting to the airport and checking in takes more time

    It will only be a holiday for her..... LOL for me it is work as usual, though the office in Zurich will have some activities planned for all the kids that attend.

    Any tips or tricks I should know about? LOL I always used to be rather ticked off that parents with kids get to board first.... maybe it is time I make use of this
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    Don't want to post this in the H&R section as I doubt many would have the experience to deal with this.

    But does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a damn ***** of a M-I-L?

    Situation in spoiler.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Basically I was away from home for the weekend for work related issues.

    Only to come home to find that the MIL had visited and wreaked even more damage than a hurricane.

    She is generally not welcome to come to our house, but DW caved in and told her to visit while I was gone. She stayed in one of the auxiliary cottages. She was told not to smoke there, both her and her partner happily smoked in the bedroom of that cottage and set off the sprinkler system and basically ruined the floor boards, wardrobes and linen in the room. She has the guts to blame that it was me who turned on the sprinkler even though I wasn't even in Britain the whole time. I don't even need to bother asking her to pay for the damages which is in the £5k range.

    Never mind the money part to it.... can easily pay it off.

    Now comes the part that I am just so pissed off,

    First I find out about the damage to the cottage, then I find the LO's clothes that reeked of cigarette odour... DW didn't get the smell as she is having a nose block. I asked the LO where had she been and why her clothes smelt like that, she said her grandma drove her in the car while smoking. I told DW I didn't want the LO riding in the grandma's car as it was an old death trap and she would puff her cigs with the windows closed.... but it was beyond DW's control.

    I decided to bring the LO out she starts arguing with me that she doesn't want to use her safety seat because "Grandma said she doesn't have to" basically the old witch has no regard to safety and would let the LO ride in the car without any seatbelts. I told the LO fine we aren't going out if she isn't getting in her seat. Brought her back into the house and decided not to tell DW about it because I know DW's remedy would be a smack for sure. Thought I would deal with it later.

    Thought that was the end of it...... I told the LO to put her toys back and she shoots back that "Grandma said I don't have to listen to what you said." I just got a bit firm with her told her to put everything back and she starts telling me to F-off and the thing is for the whole time she been living with us the F word only comes to her when the grandma visits and she starts saying that grandma told her to tell me to F-off. Being rather busy I decided to just leave it, mostly because I know DW is in a rather bad mood and if she had seen or heard what had happened the LO would get a few good smacks without a doubt and am somewhat trying to get DW to not use any smacking, it had worked for the most part.

    I thought that was the end, but then while eating dinner the LO starts telling the mother she didn't want to eat anything because the grandma told her I steal money for a living and we must not eat from thieves. Then comes the situation where I had to use every bit of strength to restrain the DW from bashing up the LO because the LO told DW "Mummy you are a whore. You won't be married if there was no money." Definitely something grandma told her.

    DW confronted her mother and all she said is she doesn't have to like me if I don't like her and she doesn't have to make it easy for me and she is the grandma she can do the hell she liked.

    Now am worried the LO would say something stupid like that to her teachers at school...... and even more worrying is she might say something to her mother when I'm not around and urghhh no idea what she would do.

    DW is telling me to just try and get on with her mother, but urghhhhh I just don't see how that is even possible.



    Hate this feeling that next week is my week away in Switzerland and a part of me is suddenly feeling glad to go......
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Don't want to post this in the H&R section as I doubt many would have the experience to deal with this.

    But does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a damn ***** of a M-I-L?

    Situation in spoiler.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Basically I was away from home for the weekend for work related issues.

    Only to come home to find that the MIL had visited and wreaked even more damage than a hurricane.

    She is generally not welcome to come to our house, but DW caved in and told her to visit while I was gone. She stayed in one of the auxiliary cottages. She was told not to smoke there, both her and her partner happily smoked in the bedroom of that cottage and set off the sprinkler system and basically ruined the floor boards, wardrobes and linen in the room. She has the guts to blame that it was me who turned on the sprinkler even though I wasn't even in Britain the whole time. I don't even need to bother asking her to pay for the damages which is in the £5k range.

    Never mind the money part to it.... can easily pay it off.

    Now comes the part that I am just so pissed off,

    First I find out about the damage to the cottage, then I find the LO's clothes that reeked of cigarette odour... DW didn't get the smell as she is having a nose block. I asked the LO where had she been and why her clothes smelt like that, she said her grandma drove her in the car while smoking. I told DW I didn't want the LO riding in the grandma's car as it was an old death trap and she would puff her cigs with the windows closed.... but it was beyond DW's control.

    I decided to bring the LO out she starts arguing with me that she doesn't want to use her safety seat because "Grandma said she doesn't have to" basically the old witch has no regard to safety and would let the LO ride in the car without any seatbelts. I told the LO fine we aren't going out if she isn't getting in her seat. Brought her back into the house and decided not to tell DW about it because I know DW's remedy would be a smack for sure. Thought I would deal with it later.

    Thought that was the end of it...... I told the LO to put her toys back and she shoots back that "Grandma said I don't have to listen to what you said." I just got a bit firm with her told her to put everything back and she starts telling me to F-off and the thing is for the whole time she been living with us the F word only comes to her when the grandma visits and she starts saying that grandma told her to tell me to F-off. Being rather busy I decided to just leave it, mostly because I know DW is in a rather bad mood and if she had seen or heard what had happened the LO would get a few good smacks without a doubt and am somewhat trying to get DW to not use any smacking, it had worked for the most part.

    I thought that was the end, but then while eating dinner the LO starts telling the mother she didn't want to eat anything because the grandma told her I steal money for a living and we must not eat from thieves. Then comes the situation where I had to use every bit of strength to restrain the DW from bashing up the LO because the LO told DW "Mummy you are a whore. You won't be married if there was no money." Definitely something grandma told her.

    DW confronted her mother and all she said is she doesn't have to like me if I don't like her and she doesn't have to make it easy for me and she is the grandma she can do the hell she liked.

    Now am worried the LO would say something stupid like that to her teachers at school...... and even more worrying is she might say something to her mother when I'm not around and urghhh no idea what she would do.

    DW is telling me to just try and get on with her mother, but urghhhhh I just don't see how that is even possible.



    Hate this feeling that next week is my week away in Switzerland and a part of me is suddenly feeling glad to go......
    I don't have experience with dealing with a troublesome MIL, I get on with my FMIL quite well, but I do have some friends who have gone through similar things. All I'm going to say is that you and your wife need to have a serious think about the effect that your MIL is having on your relationship with each other and the way your child is growing up. Is this the first time your MIL has been like this? Does she have any other grandchildren or is your LO her only one? Quite honestly if this was my child I would tell my MIL that unless she follows the rules of you and your DW she will have no access to your child. If this was a friend of yours would you let them get away with the same behaviour? I really think you and your wife need to attack this as a joined force otherwise your MIL is going to start causing drama between the two of you. I wouldn't want my child acting like that regardless of who taught them, whether it be my mother/mother-in-law or best friend. If you want any more advice feel free to PM me. I'm not trying to tell you what to do etc but I think it's important that you and your wife are on the same page about all this.
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    (Original post by hbandtr4eva)
    Is this the first time your MIL has been like this? Does she have any other grandchildren or is your LO her only one?
    Definitely not the first time something like this is happening, usually it is just the swearing that the LO picks up. It used to be a problem on a near fortnightly basis but after that DW decided to put some distance and LO saw the grandma a lot less.

    She has 5 other grandchildren, 2 of it from DW's elder brother, these ones does not get to see the grandma because the mother does not let it happen. Very similar reasons. 2 more from her DW's eldest sister, this one doesn't want to acknowledge who the mother is and has long since ran away from Britain. Something to do with childhood abuse. The final one is the youngest sister's and is still a baby...this one lives in the grandma's house as the mother is only 16 years old.


    (Original post by hbandtr4eva)
    Quite honestly if this was my child I would tell my MIL that unless she follows the rules of you and your DW she will have no access to your child. If this was a friend of yours would you let them get away with the same behaviour?
    Actually this is the first time she is coming since March because we told her something similar, don't come unless she could follow some basic ground rules. She flouted every single one of them.

    DW basically thought it was time to make mends and let bygones be bygones but she didn't realize it would come to this.


    (Original post by hbandtr4eva)
    I really think you and your wife need to attack this as a joined force otherwise your MIL is going to start causing drama between the two of you. I wouldn't want my child acting like that regardless of who taught them, whether it be my mother/mother-in-law or best friend. If you want any more advice feel free to PM me. I'm not trying to tell you what to do etc but I think it's important that you and your wife are on the same page about all this.
    I normally just ignore that witch, I don't really like talking to her and for the most part she feels the same way about me. Basically she has jealousy issues where she can't stand seeing people having a happier life or having money in general. My wife feels the same way in regard to what her mother had done and she agrees that it was a mistake to let her mother be around the LO unsupervised, just never realized it.
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Actually this is the first time she is coming since March because we told her something similar, don't come unless she could follow some basic ground rules. She flouted every single one of them.

    DW basically thought it was time to make mends and let bygones be bygones but she didn't realize it would come to this.

    I normally just ignore that witch, I don't really like talking to her and for the most part she feels the same way about me. Basically she has jealousy issues where she can't stand seeing people having a happier life or having money in general. My wife feels the same way in regard to what her mother had done and she agrees that it was a mistake to let her mother be around the LO unsupervised, just never realized it.
    It's good that you and your wife seem to be agreeing on the way to deal with her etc, maybe it's time you stop letting her spend time with your LO unsupervised until she's proved to you that she's changed (or maybe I'm just being too optimistic!). It must be a difficult position to be in, I don't envy you in the slightest. It's good that you and your DW aren't afraid to put your LO first though because your MIL doesn't deserve everyone doing what she demands them to do. I think you and your DW just need to continue setting ground rules and presenting a united front, good luck!
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Don't want to post this in the H&R section as I doubt many would have the experience to deal with this.

    But does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a damn ***** of a M-I-L?

    Situation in spoiler.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Basically I was away from home for the weekend for work related issues.

    Only to come home to find that the MIL had visited and wreaked even more damage than a hurricane.

    She is generally not welcome to come to our house, but DW caved in and told her to visit while I was gone. She stayed in one of the auxiliary cottages. She was told not to smoke there, both her and her partner happily smoked in the bedroom of that cottage and set off the sprinkler system and basically ruined the floor boards, wardrobes and linen in the room. She has the guts to blame that it was me who turned on the sprinkler even though I wasn't even in Britain the whole time. I don't even need to bother asking her to pay for the damages which is in the £5k range.

    Never mind the money part to it.... can easily pay it off.

    Now comes the part that I am just so pissed off,

    First I find out about the damage to the cottage, then I find the LO's clothes that reeked of cigarette odour... DW didn't get the smell as she is having a nose block. I asked the LO where had she been and why her clothes smelt like that, she said her grandma drove her in the car while smoking. I told DW I didn't want the LO riding in the grandma's car as it was an old death trap and she would puff her cigs with the windows closed.... but it was beyond DW's control.

    I decided to bring the LO out she starts arguing with me that she doesn't want to use her safety seat because "Grandma said she doesn't have to" basically the old witch has no regard to safety and would let the LO ride in the car without any seatbelts. I told the LO fine we aren't going out if she isn't getting in her seat. Brought her back into the house and decided not to tell DW about it because I know DW's remedy would be a smack for sure. Thought I would deal with it later.

    Thought that was the end of it...... I told the LO to put her toys back and she shoots back that "Grandma said I don't have to listen to what you said." I just got a bit firm with her told her to put everything back and she starts telling me to F-off and the thing is for the whole time she been living with us the F word only comes to her when the grandma visits and she starts saying that grandma told her to tell me to F-off. Being rather busy I decided to just leave it, mostly because I know DW is in a rather bad mood and if she had seen or heard what had happened the LO would get a few good smacks without a doubt and am somewhat trying to get DW to not use any smacking, it had worked for the most part.

    I thought that was the end, but then while eating dinner the LO starts telling the mother she didn't want to eat anything because the grandma told her I steal money for a living and we must not eat from thieves. Then comes the situation where I had to use every bit of strength to restrain the DW from bashing up the LO because the LO told DW "Mummy you are a whore. You won't be married if there was no money." Definitely something grandma told her.

    DW confronted her mother and all she said is she doesn't have to like me if I don't like her and she doesn't have to make it easy for me and she is the grandma she can do the hell she liked.

    Now am worried the LO would say something stupid like that to her teachers at school...... and even more worrying is she might say something to her mother when I'm not around and urghhh no idea what she would do.

    DW is telling me to just try and get on with her mother, but urghhhhh I just don't see how that is even possible.



    Hate this feeling that next week is my week away in Switzerland and a part of me is suddenly feeling glad to go......
    Sounds like your wife has somed serious anger issues. Is she violent towards LO? How old is LO?
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    (Original post by Tufts)
    Sounds like your wife has somed serious anger issues. Is she violent towards LO? How old is LO?
    Well you probably won't want to get on the wrong side of her temper.

    Violent towards the LO? Well I think she is but she sees it as perfectly acceptable to give a few smacks on the butt or palms.

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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Don't want to post this in the H&R section as I doubt many would have the experience to deal with this.

    But does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a damn ***** of a M-I-L?

    Situation in spoiler.

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    Basically I was away from home for the weekend for work related issues.

    Only to come home to find that the MIL had visited and wreaked even more damage than a hurricane.

    She is generally not welcome to come to our house, but DW caved in and told her to visit while I was gone. She stayed in one of the auxiliary cottages. She was told not to smoke there, both her and her partner happily smoked in the bedroom of that cottage and set off the sprinkler system and basically ruined the floor boards, wardrobes and linen in the room. She has the guts to blame that it was me who turned on the sprinkler even though I wasn't even in Britain the whole time. I don't even need to bother asking her to pay for the damages which is in the £5k range.

    Never mind the money part to it.... can easily pay it off.

    Now comes the part that I am just so pissed off,

    First I find out about the damage to the cottage, then I find the LO's clothes that reeked of cigarette odour... DW didn't get the smell as she is having a nose block. I asked the LO where had she been and why her clothes smelt like that, she said her grandma drove her in the car while smoking. I told DW I didn't want the LO riding in the grandma's car as it was an old death trap and she would puff her cigs with the windows closed.... but it was beyond DW's control.

    I decided to bring the LO out she starts arguing with me that she doesn't want to use her safety seat because "Grandma said she doesn't have to" basically the old witch has no regard to safety and would let the LO ride in the car without any seatbelts. I told the LO fine we aren't going out if she isn't getting in her seat. Brought her back into the house and decided not to tell DW about it because I know DW's remedy would be a smack for sure. Thought I would deal with it later.

    Thought that was the end of it...... I told the LO to put her toys back and she shoots back that "Grandma said I don't have to listen to what you said." I just got a bit firm with her told her to put everything back and she starts telling me to F-off and the thing is for the whole time she been living with us the F word only comes to her when the grandma visits and she starts saying that grandma told her to tell me to F-off. Being rather busy I decided to just leave it, mostly because I know DW is in a rather bad mood and if she had seen or heard what had happened the LO would get a few good smacks without a doubt and am somewhat trying to get DW to not use any smacking, it had worked for the most part.

    I thought that was the end, but then while eating dinner the LO starts telling the mother she didn't want to eat anything because the grandma told her I steal money for a living and we must not eat from thieves. Then comes the situation where I had to use every bit of strength to restrain the DW from bashing up the LO because the LO told DW "Mummy you are a whore. You won't be married if there was no money." Definitely something grandma told her.

    DW confronted her mother and all she said is she doesn't have to like me if I don't like her and she doesn't have to make it easy for me and she is the grandma she can do the hell she liked.

    Now am worried the LO would say something stupid like that to her teachers at school...... and even more worrying is she might say something to her mother when I'm not around and urghhh no idea what she would do.

    DW is telling me to just try and get on with her mother, but urghhhhh I just don't see how that is even possible.



    Hate this feeling that next week is my week away in Switzerland and a part of me is suddenly feeling glad to go......
    Can I be perfectly blunt? If that were my child, I'd flat out refuse to let MIL see DD any more without you being there yourself.

    All of what you've posted is quite shocking. Smoking the car with DD in it, not fastening seatbelts, allowing your DD to pick up on swearing, and calling her own daughter a whore in front of her grand-daughter.....

    not only does she sound like a foul mouthed terrible excuse for a grandmother (and a mother too if she speaks about your DW like that), but she clearly has no regard for the safety of her own grand-daughter.

    Regardless of what your DW says, the safety of your DD is paramount. I'd put my foot down on this one. Unless your MIL seriously changes her attitude and actions, I'd put a ban on her seeing your DD unsupervised.

    edited to add : your DW also sounds like she should have some anger management courses. If your DD is calling her a whore, it's clearly what she's heard from her grandmother. Your DW should be therefore explaining to DW that those are not-nice words and that they aren't true, and that she mustn't say them. I can't see how "bashing up" your DD is going to do any good. It's just vicious. (I realise she didn't bash your DD but it sounds like she very nearly did).

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these "you must never smack your child" kind of parents. My kids get a smack on the butt if they're very naughty. But the difference here is that your DW seems to lash out at your DD without being in control of herself. Just...hitting her...when your DD hasn't actually done anything naughty. Your DD is just going with what her grandma has told her. That's not her fault, she's only 3, her grandma is one of the adult role models in her life (and a very poor excuse for a role model if you don't mind me saying so).
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Can I be perfectly blunt? If that were my child, I'd flat out refuse to let MIL see DD any more without you being there yourself.
    We have reached a decision that the MIL will never step foot anywhere in the house again and she won't have access to DD again.

    Found out today that she is thief as well....... stole one of DD's piggy banks.


    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    All of what you've posted is quite shocking. Smoking the car with DD in it, not fastening seatbelts, allowing your DD to pick up on swearing, and calling her own daughter a whore in front of her grand-daughter.....
    I'm also quite shocked with this.... even my mother is shocked. DW was also shocked by it which is part of the reason why she reacted badly.

    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    not only does she sound like a foul mouthed terrible excuse for a grandmother (and a mother too if she speaks about your DW like that), but she clearly has no regard for the safety of her own grand-daughter.
    She doesn't even think there was any safety issues. She doesn't even wear her own seatbelt when driving. Foul mouth, oh yes.... she doesn't know how to construct a sentence without F or S words in it. She would talk to everyone that way even to a police constable or her other grandchild that lives with her.


    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Regardless of what your DW says, the safety of your DD is paramount. I'd put my foot down on this one. Unless your MIL seriously changes her attitude and actions, I'd put a ban on her seeing your DD unsupervised.
    It's unlikely she would ever change her attitude. She doesn't think anything she has done is even wrong, swearing? She thinks it is perfectly normal. Calling DW a whore...... it isn't the first time. The thing is unsupervised or supervised, she still would be the same way, she would still swear and puff.


    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    your DW also sounds like she should have some anger management courses. If your DD is calling her a whore, it's clearly what she's heard from her grandmother. Your DW should be therefore explaining to DW that those are not-nice words and that they aren't true, and that she mustn't say them. I can't see how "bashing up" your DD is going to do any good. It's just vicious. (I realise she didn't bash your DD but it sounds like she very nearly did).

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these "you must never smack your child" kind of parents. My kids get a smack on the butt if they're very naughty. But the difference here is that your DW seems to lash out at your DD without being in control of herself. Just...hitting her...when your DD hasn't actually done anything naughty. Your DD is just going with what her grandma has told her. That's not her fault, she's only 3, her grandma is one of the adult role models in her life (and a very poor excuse for a role model if you don't mind me saying so).
    She has improved a lot in recent months in regard to controlling her temper, though I still wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of it. But then with a mother like hers' and years of abuse it's not really surprising she has anger issues.

    Been trying to get her to be one of those "You must never smack your kids" type... doubt that would ever happen but at least she has for the most part stopped smacking in anger.

    Now just got to pick up the pieces and find ways and means to fix it.

    Doubt I would bring her to Switzerland this time round..... just don't feel confident in doing so...... plus I think I could do with a break from both of them.
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    (Original post by Erich Hartmann)
    Found out today that she is thief as well....... stole one of DD's piggy banks.
    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    that is just vile
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    Seriously dude, this is so disgusting that it's bordering on troll material.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    that is just vile
    No kidding, she even had the cheek to say there was £190 in there in £1 coins. Never even knew there was that much in it.

    I told DW to get that piggy bank back as it was an award I received some years back and the witch had the cheek to say she had no intention of returning a single penny to it and even said a 3 year old doesn't need such money and if we wanted the empty piggy bank back send over £100.... I have half the mind to report it.
 
 
 
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