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Long term relationship.. missing out?? watch

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    No matter what anyone tells you, it will all vary from person to person. If you think you have a great relationship, and get along well then why mess with it. You don't have to "play the field" to know what you want or who you love. Of course there will be missed opportunities, but if you break up to play the field, then you will also have missed opportunities. The door swings both ways.

    Don't throw away something great just because of others putting doubts in your mind. Appreciate what you have, because you may never find it again.
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    (Original post by BadRomance222)
    You obviously don't think much of your boyfriend, It seems to me that he'd be better off without you, so you can enjoy 'uni life.'
    Troll newbie.
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    (Original post by TheRealDarthVader)
    The most recent Mrs. Vader dumped me about eight weeks ago. Despite being with me since my second year of college, coming to the end of my course now, racking up a grand total of four and a half years, she will not see me graduate. She had to endure hard times with my half arsed studying sometimes having to take precedent. Balancing that and a part time job made it difficult at times. But I wouldn't change it for the world. The time I spent with her was far more precious than a few late nights with my friends.

    Love is a wonderful thing, my child. Treasure it while its beauty shines.
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    Personally, I'd rather be in an LTR than 'play the field'. There's a lot to say for having an LTR, I love knowing my OH is there for me and I'm there for him, rather than having no-one for true support when it's needed. I know it's not the same for everyone though.
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    I didn't go to uni so my situation is probably entirely different. I've been single for 4 months out of the last 3 years. I loved it and think I personally needed that break and period of being 'free'. If you are serious about your boyfriend though then you should stick with him. Only you can tell whether in years to come you'll look back and wish you'd had more fun.
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    I used to ask my boyfriend of over 3 years this, and to be honest, I don't think either of us feel like we are missing out on anything. I'm sure we both are curious about different things and different people, but I for one am happy enough with the way things are and I would never jeopardise that. As they say, why have a McDonalds burger when you've got steak at home?


    If you are worried about this, though, speak to your boyfriend about it and see if he's willing to have some experimenting. It's better to get these things out in the open even if the conversation is awkward. You might be surprised by what he has to say
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    i've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and this is my second time of being a fresher. I haven't felt like I'm missing out at all, and you have to remember that uni isn't some big shagfest with everyone getting laid every five minutes.
    my relationship's always been an LDR so I don't know if that has something to do with it, but I honestly don't think I'm having a sub-par experience than any of the single students whatsoever.
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    Only read the first few replies.

    I went to Uni with a boyfriend, and looking back it was awful. I went home a lot to see him, and spent time obsessing over the relationship. It was a bad bad bad relationship that soon went sour and we split up. I then had time to go out and enjoy myself. I started going out 3 times a week and was loving it.

    I've got a boyfriend now at Uni, and things are totally different. We strike more of a balance, and I feel like I've grown out of that first love stage to actually wanting this one to work. I'm happier in myself too.

    So, I guess if you and your boyfriend have a sort of balance, and you still go out and have a good time (I wasn't like this in first year!), then I don't think you're missing out at all!
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    My boyfriend went off to freshers whilst in a relationship with me and he'll be graduating this summer still with me (I assume! ) and I'll be starting uni this October. To be honest, neither of us have felt that we're missing out on anything, we still both go out drinking and clubbing and stuff, we just don't pull anyone. If you've got something great, I don't really see the need to experiment.
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    (Original post by TheRealDarthVader)
    The most recent Mrs. Vader dumped me about eight weeks ago. Despite being with me since my second year of college, coming to the end of my course now, racking up a grand total of four and a half years, she will not see me graduate. She had to endure hard times with my half arsed studying sometimes having to take precedent. Balancing that and a part time job made it difficult at times. But I wouldn't change it for the world. The time I spent with her was far more precious than a few late nights with my friends.

    Love is a wonderful thing, my child. Treasure it while its beauty shines.
    That was beautiful Mr Vader
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    I'm in my third year now, and I've been with my boyfriend since upper sixth. I don't regret it one bit, we're only half an hour away from one another (Me at UCL, him at Kingston), we give each other space to do work in the week, then spend time with each other at the weekends. I've still gone out with my friends, and so has he, I think the secret is to just relax, and get the balance right between making friends and spending time with your boyfriend. Don't break up with him because you feel like you "should", give it a go and see what happens, loads of my friends thought I was ridiculous for going to uni in a relationship. Three years later my boyfriend and I are so happy, we're planning our future together, whilst many of my friends who wanted to play the field are drifting from one unfulfilling relationship to another.
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    I've been in a relationship since the second term of my first year, I'm now in my third year with another year to go and wouldn't trade my relationship for anything. All I'd be missing out on is a few drunken pulls with guys I don't really like and will probably never see again, in exchange for having someone who loves, supports and understands me. I've never even been tempted to end things out of curiosity about other people, but I can see why some people might get freaked out that they might not have the opportunity to play the field.
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    I'm happy in my relationship and I'd much rather be with him than out on the pull. I feel so much more like myself when I'm with him and I'd rather spend time in his company than a bunch of drunk students in a club.

    That's not to say that being single = always being out on the pull and being drunk. I'm just happy with the way things are, that's all
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    My ex changed completely when he went to live in halls. He no longer wanted the things I did, and ended our five year relationship, probably because he wanted that 'uni experience'. I dunno, I guess it comes down to the individual, lots of people do stay together but then again lots do break up.

    Anyway, I'm in another relationship now and haven't been this happy for a long time
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    Of all my friends that went to University in a relationship not a one are still together. Sounds anecdotal but it has definately swayed my judgement of the problem, my best friends r/l turned really ugly because they were too insecure to leave each other but the girl had the same doubts. Most people end up wanting the 'single uni experience' and they feel like they're missing out...it gnaws at them and causes a lot of stress.

    So if you have that doubt now chance are it wont go away.
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    I don't think that you are missing out at all!

    I've been single now for just over a year, and yes, I'm in uni, meeting new people, going out, having fun, whatever you want to call it, but it's all meaningless. Some guy calling you attractive, and a few casual dates here and there gaining the "experience" that you think you are missing is really nothing. It's the person that you come to on the other end of the phone when you're upset, or bored, or just someone to say they miss you. What are you missing out on? I think long term relationships are beautiful.

    People say that it's playing the field, etc, but what if you meet that special person early on in life? I count you as one of the lucky ones.
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    I was with my partner for the first two years of uni, but I've done third year as a singleton. I've enjoyed both =/ I think I would have been happy staying with the same person my whole life, but I have enjoyed being able to 'experience' different things :p:
    Like others have said, if a relationship is a happy one, I don't think you're missing out....but if it's only a mediocre relationship, or an unhappy one it's definitely worth making the break and getting out there!
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    OP, I got with my boyfriend very near the start of my first year of uni (he was second year) and was in a serious relationship with him for 2 years. It was both of our first relationship - first everything in fact (kiss, sex etc). I also wondered whether, if I stayed with him forever, it would be odd that I had never been with anyone else or had the chance to see what other people were like. However, I think that so many people spend so much time looking for Mr Right or trying to find somebody they enjoy kissing, that if you're lucky enough to be happy very early on, you shouldn't let that go just because you're curious about what the alternative could have been. When I was with my boyfriend I did sometimes think 'I can't have the same chances other people have or look to get with someone on a night out'. However, since breaking-up, I've still not yet done that. Sometimes having opportunities doesn't mean things materialise perfectly, so I think it's better to enjoy what you do have than regret what you don't (especially because you might never get it). I think lots of people are often jealous of the opposite - single people want LTRs and people in LTRs can see the benefits of singledom. Ultimately all that is meaningful is that you're happy with yourself and aren't relying on other people to define who you are
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    Me and my boyfriend got together june last year, knowing that i was going to be going to uni 300 miles away, im very near finishing this first year, and im going to be transferring for my second year back at home. a) because we miss each other loads and b) Im struggling to afford uni so itll be easier at home. Being in an LTR in my first year has probably made my experience more enjoyable, he's been my rock, and when ive been down ive always known that i can talk to him at the end of the day and itll be fine The prospect that im going to be back at home for good in 5 weeks or so has us both very excited and i think the relatinoship we have, (which in my eyes is perfect ) could only be even better, simply by seeing each other and not rushing to make the most of the time spent together. Being single in my first year wouldnt have given me any of the excitment ive had about seeing my bf for a weekend after 2 weeks of sepraration. And I dont think by me going home im going to miss out on anything, i have a strong group of friends at home who i go out with at every opportunity!

    You just need to do what feels right, and for us, staying together felt right, weve only been with a couple of others, and he was more inexperienced than me when we got together, but i know he doesnt want to 'play the field' and nor do i. What we have works and i wouldnt change it at all
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    Why are people so intent on behaving like skanks? I'm not going to pretend i'm perfect, i'm had my fair share of pulling randoms in the past but i'd choose a meaningful relationship any day. I think its pretty sad and pathetic that 'playing the field' is considered to be part of the university experience.
 
 
 
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