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    How can I stop this? I'm not a very confident guy, obviously, and I absolutely despise how I can never pull up the confidence to actually approach women. In clubs, even when I'm drunk, I find it hard to approach anyone and dance with them which ultimately ends up with me being lonely for the night. I met the girl of my dreams online and after talking to her for a month or so, was too scared to meet her in real life for fear of her hating me and losing someone I enjoyed talking to. I still talk to her but now she has a BF and not meeting her is currently the biggest regret of my life... I know girls like confidence but I just can't do it. I view myself as a failure, no matter what I achieve because there is always someone better.

    I'm sick of being single, I'm sick of not being able to approach girls but most of all, I'm sick of just not having the confidence in myself to take advantage of situations when they present themselves and all these things just end up combining to make me hate myself even more, creating a never ending circle of self-loathing.


    I should mention too, I don't think "Just try being confident for a day" comments are very helpful. While being confident is solely based on your personality and how you perceive the world, it's not as easy as just 'becoming confident'. Take for example someone who isn't funny, you wouldn't just say to them "Try being funny for a day". Even though being funny is a personality trait and how funny you are, is entirely based upon yourself, does not mean you can instantaneously switch from being unfunny to funny.

    Anyway, help and advice is much appreciated. Thanks
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    Oh god...you're one of those guys who feels it's his entitled right to have girls just approach him.

    :facepalm:
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    Confidence without skill is an act.

    People who say just be confident are not very helpful. Build up some skills and the confidence will flow. The skills are things like being fit, dressing well, direct eye contact ect

    Little things are additive.
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    Fake the confidence until it comes naturally. That's what I done. Noone in clubs known that your not confident, so just fake it
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    Do things that make you feel good then confidence should flow from that
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    love yourself before you love others
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    you need to learn to stop giving a **** about what people think of you (within reason) and to realise that people don't judge you anywhere near as much as you think they do, and even if they do think you're a bit weird they're likely to forget about you the next day unless you make an impression
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    Man up ffs.
    Go to the gym.
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    Buy a chimpanzee and use it as your wingman/loveable sidekick
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    You need to stop going out with the aim of trying to get girls. If it happens it happens, if it doesnt it doesnt.
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    If you hate yourself you have the answer. There are very few people out there that will love someone that hates themselves because they make it too hard.

    Improve your life in whatever way you can, feel good about yourself maybe even by making others feel better about themselves and you'll find a more natural confidence in being comfortable in who you are.
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    (Original post by insignificant)
    You need to stop going out with the aim of trying to get girls. If it happens it happens, if it doesnt it doesnt.
    This
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    I hate myslef too, and I'm a girl.
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    (Original post by BigDirty)
    Fake the confidence until it comes naturally. That's what I done. Noone in clubs known that your not confident, so just fake it
    Faking confidence takes confidence.

    Edit: Cheers for the neg rep BigD.
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    why so much hate :lovehug: let's share some love people
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    Quit giving a ****? Just take life one day at a time... You can't always be negative minded all the time...

    edit: OK I actually read all of your post

    Man up. You're thinking way too much. Learn to just go with it all.
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    You should try some chatup lines. One that works well for me is:

    "Excuse me, my friends and I are having a bet. Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
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    (Original post by itsamemario666)
    You should try some chatup lines. One that works well for me is:

    "Excuse me, my friends and I are having a bet. Would you mind telling me what this cloth smells like to you? Yes, that's right... it is chloroform!"
    You'll have to let me know what your success rate is with this... As so far I have had a 100% :run: rate
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    I wouldn't worry to much because there's alot of people out there that feel the same way, what you got to remember is that there's alot of girls out there that like guys that are sensitive and with no confidence.

    Don't try and rush to get into a relationship becuase without a doubt, they would be the wrong person to be with, so let nature take its course. You'll will find the right person and be happy soon.
    If you feel really bad about the way yours body looks then why don't you go to a gym or just a different look, trust me it will help.

    Hope this helps x
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    (Original post by dipless)
    You'll have to let me know what your success rate is with this... As so far I have had a 100% :run: rate
    Really? it has always worked well for me, at least 90%. I've changed it a bit so it's shorter though. Gives them less time to run.
 
 
 
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