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I want to kill myself watch

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    #1

    (Original post by csea)
    This is very inconsiderate I think you should be ashamed of being so harsh to anybody.

    In my opinion, you should talk things through with somebody. This doesn't have to be a professional, but can be if you feel this is right. Ultimately, this will pass. Hold onto that thought, and please don't do anything silly. I'm sure a lot more people care about you than you think. Good luck hun
    Thank you. It doesn't feel that way, I do truly feel alone in my struggle.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the thing I'm finding hardest. I have lost my independance and feel like I need to be pulled out of this slump by someone as I am too weak to do it alone. I am too scared to face the world, to face revision, to face up to anything. I don't know how to pull myself out of it.
    Can you think of a situation in the past when you succeeded when you didn't think you could?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. It doesn't feel that way, I do truly feel alone in my struggle.
    Well you're getting a lot of love here, just think about that. People can be lovely
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the thing I'm finding hardest. I have lost my independance and feel like I need to be pulled out of this slump by someone as I am too weak to do it alone. I am too scared to face the world, to face revision, to face up to anything. I don't know how to pull myself out of it.
    I get how hard it is because it was my initial reaction at first. It might help if you talk to someone on a helpline first or get someone to take you to the doctors.
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    *hugs*

    You are definitely not alone in your feelings.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have truly never felt so alone. I hate everything in my life right now and no one can pull me out of this slump. I have an exam but all I want to do is sleep. My "boyfriend" is useless, he has NEVER been able to support me through a hard time, at the slightest sign of me being depressed or snappy he runs a mile even though I have been strong for him so many times. He doesn't think that I'm struggling through this with no friends, he is selfish and inconsiderate. He has never been strong for me or known how to make me feel better and I just wish I had a boyfriend who could. I want to break up with him and meet someone else because I am no longer in love with him. He is not my type of guy, in that he is not sponataneous or exciting or dreamy or romantic or supportive and to top it off, has anger problems and is selfish.

    I hate my family as they are causing me so much pain. I have no motivation to do anything, I just want to sleep. In fact, I just want to end it all now and never have to feel this pain again. In a world of 6 billion is it so hard to find just one ****ing person who can get my pain and help me?
    Im sure things will get better lol but have you considered your own mistakes?
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    (Original post by starfish3)
    umm getting rid of the bf is the first thing you need to do, its the best thing for both of you as its not fair on him to be hating on him all the time and he obvoiusly is not for you by the sounds.

    I do think you seem to be expecting a lot of this poor guy "dreamy" what is that ??

    Every body gets lonely sometimes and feels alone in the world but things always look up in the end. I think you should consider professional help
    I'm not expecting a lot if anything I have had the most unsatisfying relationship in every regard, I have been there for him so much yet he has done nothing for me. He is very selfish and always has an excuse for why he can't support me, he never has a kind word to say, a hug to give or a suggestiong for us to go somewhere to cheer me up. He insensitively talks about his day when I will be there staring into space feeling depressed. He will cut me off when I want to open up. I have been left feeling closed off and empty. I cannot talk to him about anything. Even when I wasn't depressed, I'd try to tell him about my day and he'd bring the topic back to himself. Plus he gets angry over little things which means I have to tread on eggshells incase he shouts at me. I can't explain really, it's hard to summarise the relationship on here.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's so hard. I can't articulate how awful I feel. Things like "just get on with it" etc just make the problem 1000X worse, no one knows how to get to the root of my problems which have been ongoing for years although escalated the last few weeks. I haven't got the strength to do anything.
    Have you been to your gp?
    Considered counselling?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not expecting a lot if anything I have had the most unsatisfying relationship in every regard, I have been there for him so much yet he has done nothing for me. He is very selfish and always has an excuse for why he can't support me, he never has a kind word to say, a hug to give or a suggestiong for us to go somewhere to cheer me up. He insensitively talks about his day when I will be there staring into space feeling depressed. He will cut me off when I want to open up. I have been left feeling closed off and empty. I cannot talk to him about anything. Even when I wasn't depressed, I'd try to tell him about my day and he'd bring the topic back to himself. Plus he gets angry over little things which means I have to tread on eggshells incase he shouts at me. I can't explain really, it's hard to summarise the relationship on here.
    No one is forcing you to stay with him.

    If you do a nice thing for someone it doesn't necessarily get returned, even if that feels unfair. If you're not happy then leave.
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    Dont kill yourself! You just need to sort yourself out, i know it sounds hard sorry.

    Have you visited the Doctors? They might be able to suggest ways in which to help you. My mum used to be the way you describe yourself. After trying to end it she went for some counselling and its really changed her. Shes much happier and there are more people in her life (there were literally none before, she didnt want to be around people) Maybe you could try counselling?

    You should also try speaking to your friends and telling them how you feel. Theyll probably be worried about you and give you all the support you need.
    You shoul get rid of your boyfriend - he sounds like a loser whos adding to your struggle.

    Life can be brilliant you just have to go about it the right way
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    (Original post by csea)
    Well you're getting a lot of love here, just think about that. People can be lovely
    no shes getting platitudes and honesty, your not giving her love your giving her "theres theres".

    OP youve made more than one post in regards to your bf, if hes that bad then dump him, the fact that your opening post was whinging about him followed by two lines in regards to your family shows your priorities are rather skewed. Why are in the relationship if hes such a dead beat. you ahve no one to blame for being in an unhealthy relationship but yourself becasue despite realising your in a bad one your still in it.

    Stop expecting everyone to sort you out, get off your backside and start looking for help. you cant expect it just land in your lap
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    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    No one is forcing you to stay with him.

    If you do a nice thing for someone it doesn't necessarily get returned, even if that feels unfair. If you're not happy then leave.
    I feel pressured to because I think he will hurt me if I leave. I am scared he will go mad. I have wanted to leave for so so long but every time I try and subtly ask he doesn't want to talk but I think if he just let me go I'd be happier. Because I do think I could meet the right guy for me, I have wasted the last few years and don't want to waste anymore.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not expecting a lot if anything I have had the most unsatisfying relationship in every regard, I have been there for him so much yet he has done nothing for me. He is very selfish and always has an excuse for why he can't support me, he never has a kind word to say, a hug to give or a suggestiong for us to go somewhere to cheer me up. He insensitively talks about his day when I will be there staring into space feeling depressed. He will cut me off when I want to open up. I have been left feeling closed off and empty. I cannot talk to him about anything. Even when I wasn't depressed, I'd try to tell him about my day and he'd bring the topic back to himself. Plus he gets angry over little things which means I have to tread on eggshells incase he shouts at me. I can't explain really, it's hard to summarise the relationship on here.


    Well he just sounds wrong for you, if its all take take take for him and your getting nothing back its a one way relationship and toxic, you need to have some time apart and see how you feel about him after that, if you still feel the same way about him after a few weeks break then maybe its time to call it quits.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's such a sweet post. I've always dreamed of finding the right guy but after being in a loveless, empty, meaningless, dreary relationship with someone who will *never* understand me I feel like all hope is lost. I hope one day I will finally meet that guy.
    And you *will*. It seems hopeless most of the time to the point where we question ourselves whether this is all worth it. To go through all that hurt for so long to only have a very slight chance of finding that special person?

    The time of your life when you *do* find him will make all this hurt and loneliness worth it because nothing can compare to your happiness as well as his, together. It's sort of like the longer we wait, the more wonderful the moment is when we finally find our other half. That's when we become grateful to not have given up, otherwise we'd be missing out on everything we ever wanted in this world.

    This is my reason for continuing. Perhaps you can share my reason and continue as well.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    no shes getting platitudes and honesty, your not giving her love your giving her "theres theres".

    OP youve made more than one post in regards to your bf, if hes that bad then dump him, the fact that your opening post was whinging about him followed by two lines in regards to your family shows your priorities are rather skewed. Why are in the relationship if hes such a dead beat. you ahve no one to blame for being in an unhealthy relationship but yourself becasue despite realising your in a bad one your still in it.

    Stop expecting everyone to sort you out, get off your backside and start looking for help. you cant expect it just land in your lap
    Is it bad for me to expect someone who supposedly loves me to support me? I don't see how that is a crime especially when I have been there for him so many times. And I am looking for help, I have had one session of cousellingand I've contacted uni. Still, nothing changes. I try to revise, my mind goes blank. I am trying so hard but I am frustrated because nothing ever gets better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel pressured to because I think he will hurt me if I leave. I am scared he will go mad. I have wanted to leave for so so long but every time I try and subtly ask he doesn't want to talk but I think if he just let me go I'd be happier. Because I do think I could meet the right guy for me, I have wasted the last few years and don't want to waste anymore.
    So you've invested time and support in this relationship and you want some return for it, right? Well, you know from experience it's not going to come and he isn't going to change. You have to leave despite all the time you have spent together. Just cut your losses and go before you end up in a toxic marriage as well! You made a mistake staying with him for so long and now you have to leave and deal with it.

    If you feel at risk you can even get a restraining order but can you honestly see him physically attacking you?
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    (Original post by starfish3)
    Well he just sounds wrong for you, if its all take take take for him and your getting nothing back its a one way relationship and toxic, you need to have some time apart and see how you feel about him after that, if you still feel the same way about him after a few weeks break then maybe its time to call it quits.
    My feelings exactly. I have given everything to this guy, more than he will ever know or appreciate. In fact I think my life without him would have been very different. I can't remember a time he was there for me or showed any sort of affection. I don't know why. I think he is just really bad with problems. But to me it is pointless being with someone who can't cheer you up when you are down or listen to you when you want to talk.
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    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    So you've invested time and support in this relationship and you want some return for it, right? Well, you know from experience it's not going to come and he isn't going to change. You have to leave despite all the time you have spent together. Just cut your losses and go before you end up in a toxic marriage as well! You made a mistake staying with him for so long and now you have to leave and deal with it.

    If you feel at risk you can even get a restraining order but can you honestly see him physically attacking you?
    Yes, I think in my heart I always wanted him to finally appreciate me but I realised a long time ago this will never happen. I just need to find the courage to leave as I am afraid he will hurt me. He has been angry before in the past, hacked into my facebook, tried to strangle me, gotten really angry to an abnormal degree, so I don't know what he might to. What gets me is why does he want to me in a relationship with me anyway when he obviously can't stand the sight of me and treats me like dirt? Surely he should be happy to have such a burden like me off his hands?
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    Life is hard, and believe me it gets a lot worse... I have been in the same position as you in the past, but now at 33 I am happy with myself and my situation by making an effort to improve my life. Even just last year I ended up in a relationship with a conman, was publically humilated by a so called friend and I was disciplined at work for my sickness... But it didn't break me, and I am on the up again!

    Positive thinking is what's needed!
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's so hard. I can't articulate how awful I feel. Things like "just get on with it" etc just make the problem 1000X worse, no one knows how to get to the root of my problems which have been ongoing for years although escalated the last few weeks. I haven't got the strength to do anything.
    Firstly, how anyone be so heartless as to post anything negative or discouraging in response to your post is beyond me. My faith in human nature is restored by the people who have written supportive and positive things

    Can I ask what the root of your problems is? You say it has been going on for years, but if we knew what it was it might help? Why have they escalated in the last few weeks? Your boyfriend clearly isn't helping here - in fact I get the impression that he's just making you more unhappy which isn't what you need right now. If you haven't already, tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel right now, and how he's making you feel. If he doesn't immediately sort his act out and become the most caring, supportive boyfriend in the world then just tell him its over..... I know it seems harsh, but you need to look after number 1, because he is just hurting you even more right now. You'll feel better for it, you really will.

    I understand how you just want to hide under your duvet and shut out the world but its not going to help - but you already know that. What you need is to surround yourself with people who care about you, and know what you're going through. And if your friends and family don't already know, then you need to tell them!

    There are loads of people on here who can offer a bit of friendly support and encouragement, so keep posting :-)
 
 
 
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