Turn on thread page Beta

Girls approaching guys watch

Announcements
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's cool, but only if it's done in the right way.

    It's very easy to see if the girl's just trying to get a drink out of you like some homeless tramp scrounging for change.

    Also if she's too drunk then you don't take it too seriously.

    In the states girls approaching guys is the norm, more girls should do it here!
    • PS Helper
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Wiki Support Team
    I've approached guys in the past :s

    I see nothing wrong with it! Just as a guy can make his attraction known, so can a girl (except we are often a bit more subtle that grinding up against me, seriously, informing my lower back you have an erection is not gonna make me deal with it!)

    One guy who I went to talk to was way out of my league, but turned out to be a genuinely nice guy, we get on really well and stuff, and he told me that he had been looking at me all night and just hadn't had the courage to speak to me! So y'know very glad I went up to talk to him because otherwise we would have never dated etc.!

    And to all those people saying it's a sign of slutty one night stands, I'm a no-sex-before-marriage-Christian...so I don't think it is really :nah:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Drewski)
    Unlike others here I wouldn't be second guessing it.

    If you came over to me I'd engage you in conversation, I'd be wary that you were after something, or drunk, but beyond that would take things at face value.


    However, the fact that it never happens negates me from taking it too seriously.
    This.

    It's easy to tell if she's genuinely interested and not just after something.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lexi99)
    So guys what would you think if it was the girl who made the first move and came over to talk to you in a bar/club, would you think she was just desperate?

    Also, how would you want her to do it, i.e. what things to say?
    I'd absolutely love it (I'm not single right now but back when I was). I would judge how desperate she was from speaking to her. The single act of approaching me does not indicate she's desperate, just bold and I like bold.

    Just say what a guy would say. If a girl had the confidence to walk up to me and say something like "Hey my name is x, do you want to get a drink ?" it would be seriously hot.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lexi99)
    So guys what would you think if it was the girl who made the first move and came over to talk to you in a bar/club, would you think she was just desperate?

    Also, how would you want her to do it, i.e. what things to say?
    IMPOSSIBLE!
    lol its always the men who make the first move... -.-
    i would be surprised...

    me: lets get this relationship going, YEAH!
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    I would be flattered if a girl approached me Go for it OP.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    This is a sad state of affairs where a girl can't talk to a guy de novo without being prejudged. We're only human.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lexi99)
    So guys what would you think if it was the girl who made the first move and came over to talk to you in a bar/club, would you think she was just desperate?

    Also, how would you want her to do it, i.e. what things to say?
    I'd think it was awesome if a girl came over and started flirting, its not desperate at all I love girls who make the movie its sexy
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I'd find it quite refreshing to be honest, if only because you wouldn't have to second guess whether they're interested or not. I'd give it a thumbs up.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lexi99)
    So guys what would you think if it was the girl who made the first move and came over to talk to you in a bar/club, would you think she was just desperate?
    TLDR: Do it, but not in that location.

    --

    The location is the issue here. Maybe also the personality of the person, however I doubt incredibly shy girls would show up in bars and clubs without feeling at least somewhat out of place.

    Anyway in a bar/club, a girl approaching a guy would essentially always come over as the girl being needy, a slut, cheap, etc. If you do it and end up getting laid by the offspring of Cooldude, you'll most likely be here next week posting a thread about how some guy did stuff and you blanked out and can't remember anything until he came. Hur dur. I can see people firing up their neg-button now. -_-;;

    That being said, outside of clubs and/or bars, girls approaching guys should be totally acceptable if it isn't already. If you want something, say it; hidden signals, smiles, winks, etc. to make a guy approach a girl often do more harm than good. I don't know what the social etiquette in the UK says (someone tell me), but all of these dating and courtship rules are retarded IMHO. Romance doesn't need a rulebook. There's some truth in stuff like the Ladder Theory (friend-zone and all that), but a lot of it is just a whole load of bull.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by avila)
    TLDR: Do it, but not in that location.

    The location is the issue here. Maybe also the personality of the person, however I doubt incredibly shy girls would show up in bars and clubs without feeling at least somewhat out of place.

    Anyway in a bar/club, a girl approaching a guy would essentially always come over as the girl being needy, a slut, cheap, etc. If you do it and end up getting laid by the offspring of Cooldude, you'll most likely be here next week posting a thread about how some guy did stuff and you blanked out and can't remember anything until he came. [SIZE="1"]Hur dur. I can see people firing up their neg-button now. -_-;;[/SIZE]

    That being said, outside of clubs and/or bars, girls approaching guys should be totally acceptable if it isn't already. If you want something, say it; hidden signals, smiles, winks, etc. to make a guy approach a girl often do more harm than good. I don't know what the social etiquette in the UK says (someone tell me), but all of these dating and courtship rules are retarded IMHO. Romance doesn't need a rulebook. There's some truth in stuff like the Ladder Theory (friend-zone and all that), but a lot of it is just a whole load of bull.
    This all over. Anywhere but a bar.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by avila)
    TLDR: Do it, but not in that location.

    --

    The location is the issue here. Maybe also the personality of the person, however I doubt incredibly shy girls would show up in bars and clubs without feeling at least somewhat out of place.

    Anyway in a bar/club, a girl approaching a guy would essentially always come over as the girl being needy, a slut, cheap, etc. If you do it and end up getting laid by the offspring of Cooldude, you'll most likely be here next week posting a thread about how some guy did stuff and you blanked out and can't remember anything until he came. Hur dur. I can see people firing up their neg-button now. -_-;;

    That being said, outside of clubs and/or bars, girls approaching guys should be totally acceptable if it isn't already. If you want something, say it; hidden signals, smiles, winks, etc. to make a guy approach a girl often do more harm than good. I don't know what the social etiquette in the UK says (someone tell me), but all of these dating and courtship rules are retarded IMHO. Romance doesn't need a rulebook. There's some truth in stuff like the Ladder Theory (friend-zone and all that), but a lot of it is just a whole load of bull.
    You say romance doesnt need a rulebook, yet approaching a guy in a bar or something automatically makes her slutty/cheap?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lexi99)
    You say romance doesnt need a rulebook, yet approaching a guy in a bar or something automatically makes her slutty/cheap?
    Sadly, that's how western standards make things work out.

    Edit: Negging won't make it any less true. n_n
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Bump
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    A hello would be a nice place to start.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    Girls cannot win.

    On the one hand, when girls say they want guys to approach them, the pansy-ass guys start whining about how "it's always down to them" and they love "confident girls" and it's unfair what society expects from them in this regard.
    These are the sort of boys you don't want to be dating anyway. Indeed, these are the boys that no-one would particularly want to mix with. The rest of us are quite happy with our gender role - indeed, I prefer it.


    (Original post by Ich Dien)
    Lol. **** that ****.
    No. Adhering to social etiquette is the way of showing someone that you know how to behave and that you're not, bluntly, a psycho. We have far too little to go on when meeting new people as it is, throw social orthodoxy out of the window and you might as well just grab the first weirdo you find on the street.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I would rather she "signals" that she is interested in me, coming over and saying hi is fine too. I think coming across too hard would make her seem desperate to me.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Lexi99)
    So guys what would you think if it was the girl who made the first move and came over to talk to you in a bar/club, would you think she was just desperate?

    Also, how would you want her to do it, i.e. what things to say?
    Lexi99. if a girl made the first move towards me at a club i'd be delighted. That's how i got my first kiss (for 10 years) I was just minding my own business, this girl saw me and we made eye contact, she came over and we danced a bit.
    She was facing me holding my chest and i was grabbing her ass. I lifted her chin up slowly and we began kissing.
    IT WAS INCREDIBLE !! right up until one of mer mates grabbed her and pulled her away
    The trick is to spot someone, make eye contact and then slowly approach. I had a girl just come out of nowhere once and then just begin to lead me away. I was shocked and just let her go. She was STUNNING too, if a bit short for my liking. I'd say an 8/10.

    So yeah just approach with a smile, and make sure you've both seen each other and then just say "Hi wanna dance"

    Anybody who says no, hasn't got balls!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Panda Vinnie)
    I think it's cool, but only if it's done in the right way.

    It's very easy to see if the girl's just trying to get a drink out of you like some homeless tramp scrounging for change.

    Also if she's too drunk then you don't take it too seriously.

    In the states girls approaching guys is the norm, more girls should do it here!
    Very true. This isn't a big deal in america. Girls do it all the time and guys don't care.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Casshern1456)
    :rolleyes: IMO it's perfectly normal, it's the 21st century for Christ sakes.
    This

    I'm genuinely shocked that so many people think it gives a bad signal. This is the 21st century, I cannot believe that people think its unusual for a girl to start talking to them. Makes me feel like we are still living in the 19th century when women should be seen but not heard.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 9, 2011
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.