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    (Original post by Gemma :)!)
    As sad as this sounds, some people just do it to get sympathy themselves. If they seem to be upset, people might ask them if they're okay, or if they knew the person who'd died. A friend of mine died 2 weeks ago, and the amount of people who posted as though they'd been best friends, despite the fact that I know they didn't even know her in "real life" was just amazing.

    There's nothing wrong with paying respect, simply a "Rest in peace; you will be missed" would do.. not these stupid emotional messages that people seem to post!
    Emotional messages are probably from people that are emotional...what else would you expect in such a situation?
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    a friend of mine died a year ago this month and i often leave comments on her wall.. at times when i'm doing something that reminds me of her or when i just really miss her. i see nothing wrong with it, i'm not doing it for attention and i don't think it's tacky. it's just my way of dealing with the fact that she's not here.. that i can't just walk down the road and see her. people cope differently and i don't think it's up to anyone to judge that.
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    Its wierd because in that page your keeping you have a little snapshot, one of the last, of that persons life.
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    Wiki Support Team
    Personally, I think it's hard enough trying to come to terms with the death of a close friend or loved one, without having it shoved down your throat when you log onto facebook.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do people think of writing messages on the Facebook walls of people who have died? Tacky or just showing respect? By this I mean people who KNEW the person who died, but weren't CLOSE exactly, or maybe hadn't seen them in a couple of years. Was just wondering people's opinions.

    anon cos directly inspired by the death of someone I know and I don't want to be disrespectful
    Here's my view.

    At least have the respect to offer your condolences in person. Otherwise don't do it at all!!
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    A friend from school passed suddenly 2 years ago from heart failure, and every day she still has people write messages to her about how missed she is, or just generally letting her know whats going on. It's actually very amazing to see how much she inspired so many people, and if it gives comfort to the person writing it, what's the harm?
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    I thought first you meant just writing it on their own walls, or on the family's...if they take the time to write in good English and don't put lots of Xs afterwards, then it can be nice, but a card's better. But on the wall of the person who's died?! Grieving is for the family, so say something to the family. People like to keep sympathy cards- are they supposed to keep the facebook profile of the person who's died open because no one sent a card instead?
    There was a girl at my school whose baby died and she created a facebook page for it and everyone has joined it...people who used to be horrible to her and were really nasty to her about her pregnancy (she dropped out of school). She posts stuff like "can't wait to meet my baby angel again one day". I just think it cheapens it.
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    (Original post by Kattt_452)
    Emotional messages are probably from people that are emotional...what else would you expect in such a situation?
    I meant from people who didn't even know the person and were just trying to use the death as a method of attention seeking. It happens.
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    I don't see the point of writing RIP on a dead person's facebook....

    its not like they are ever gonna see it....

    if you wanna pay respect, go to the funeral/see the family or something.....
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    I remember when a girl who went to my school died and she got a lot of RIP messages from people who did not know her personally. I think its always sad when someone dies but i think sending a card to the family is much more thoughtful as the ones who put RIP on facebook most likley did not know the person that well.
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    A lot of ppl I know who never once talked to a girl suddenly went all vocal and cyber-poetic when she died. I think it's even unrespectful. The people that really knew her is one thing, but these almost strangers being all vocal with their goddam prayers... I don't care for them, they're desecrating someone's memory. If you didn't care enough to talk with someone when they were alive, the least you can do is shut up when theyre gone to let ppl who do care to think in peace.
    It just comes off as so goddam fake.
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    I used to think it was. And then a friend died recently and it just felt right, somehow, she'd been on Facebook a lot and used it to communicate with people throughout her treatment, and leaving a message there felt like the right thing to do especially as her family didn't live round here. They later wrote a message saying how much they'd appreciated our messages and seeing how much she meant to the people here without us feeling we had to change what we were saying, because it was to her rather than a message to people we didn't know. I wrote a message, she's still on my Facebook, and her number's still on my phone, and I'm not deleting it, not yet anyway. It's a way of remembering her and how much she meant to have that page and see what people have written and the conversations we had.
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    (Original post by Panda Bear)
    But I think you could say that about a book of condolences too.
    No you could not. Facebook is, despite peoples best intentions, used predominantly to gratify or socially endear oneself to society, or at least those in ones friend list or those you allow to view your page. Whereas, a book of condolences is written to those grieving and is not on display for even those not aware of the tragedy, to see.

    Grieving is a process that most people in society find a very personal affair. That is why I find it thoroughly distasteful for people to post such things on the internet, in what is essentially a public and open forum, and be given the ability to 'like' it.

    Unless of course a book of condolence has an extra column for those having read it to pop their name into, just to show they 'like' whatever the person previous has written? If there is, I do apologise.
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    I'm okay with it, but when my uncle died I couldn't bring myself to write anything on his wall - and I hope people didn't judge me for that, everyone grieves in different ways - I went to his funeral and cried for him there.

    If I died I certainly wouldn't mind if it helped people I don't think it's disrespectful HOWEVER obviously you would know that other people might find it disrespectful. Also I think it helps when they have a facebook page as you feel like you're still talking to them and helps the grieving process - although personally I would send a personal message not a public wallpost.
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    a friend died recently and i wrote on his facebook wall. i didn't really think about but i think i did it because, when i wrote it, i was still in major shock (well i still am) but you can pretend that they can still see it, at least thats why i did it. unfortunately you did get people who just comment for the sake of it but you get that in every situtation. I don't think it matters, you can see who truly means it by what they've put. I know i've said it but you can pretend that they can see it, that's what helped me, i kind of felt a bit of weight lifted and I as far as I am concerned, he saw it

    Sorry for the rambling...
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    (Original post by i.am.lost)
    There is, the next of kin can contact FB and notify them (with proof), the user will then be deleted.
    So I can get my FB profile deleted? Great!
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    I think it's nice, even if they didn't know the person that well.

    My best friend died in 2005, and people still leave messages on his Myspace page, especially on his birthday/the day he died. It's nice to read some of them, most people just recall memories or inside jokes, some just ramble about their day and how they wish he'd been there etc. I'm glad people did it when he died, and I'm happy that they still do. It's comforting in a way
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    Maybe not messages but I think making an RIP suchandsuch page upon which strangers invariably put up condolences are tacky. There's always a message like "Dint no u but ya seem a gr8 lad" and I'd hate that if I were dead
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    I think that it's ok to do it on Facebook, but better if you actually visit their grave, and talk to their family.

    But then again, I want someone to put on my status when I am dead "... is Raving with God"
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    I think it's fair enough if you want to pay your respects, and with the rise of social networking many people will use that method to do so.

    But it's so cringeworthy and, tbh, disrespectful, when people just do it for the sake of it (ie. to make themselves look good).

    Eg. "didnt no u but u seemed realy nice. RIP xxx"

    I mean come on.. someone has DIED, at least make the effort to spell properly.. :lolwut:
 
 
 
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